00:00:00.000,00:00:06.073
>>This is Defcon 101 we've been
doing this for quite a few years
now uh HighWiz started this a

00:00:06.073,00:00:13.614
few years back I've been uh
assigned to carry it on and
basically what it is is we're

00:00:13.614,00:00:18.218
going to give you a little bit
of information about Defcon
we're going to tell you about

00:00:18.218,00:00:22.422
you know the things that are
going on and then the panel our
lovely panel is going to talk a

00:00:22.422,00:00:27.527
little bit about their
involvement with Defcon how they
got involved initially and then

00:00:27.527,00:00:39.606
you know things that you can do
to get yourself involved. Our
panel just got prettier

00:00:39.606,00:00:45.979
[laughter] [applause] Yes and
smarter so just in case you
weren't aware everybody was a

00:00:45.979,00:00:52.119
noob once uh I was just talking
to a guy named Ben back when
Ryan asked us to all introduce

00:00:52.119,00:00:57.157
ourselves Ben's a noob Ben's not
afraid to say he's a noob he's
here because he wants to learn

00:00:57.157,00:01:02.262
stuff everybody is still a noob
so this is something that you
guys nobody should ever feel

00:01:02.262,00:01:05.999
like they're superior because
they know some more because you
don't know everything somebody

00:01:05.999,00:01:14.274
knows more than you about
something. That was it that was
just a little preachy [laughter]

00:01:14.274,00:01:22.282
Welcome to Las Vegas >>woo!
>>Pace yourselves please you are
here for four days so yeah

00:01:22.282,00:01:27.287
especially if you're Ryan
because it's this is one of
those things where you know I've

00:01:27.287,00:01:31.959
been here and I've seen a lot of
people passed out apparently uh
Shaggy saw somebody passed out

00:01:31.959,00:01:38.365
in front of his door last night
um you know he if you don't pace
yourselves you're gonna do uh

00:01:38.365,00:01:47.841
lots of really bad things Hey
there priest how ya doing >>good
good >>Yeah I do, yes please

00:01:47.841,00:02:00.120
>>thank you >>Hi everybody,
everybody remember me?
[cheering] so ya'll haven't seen

00:02:00.120,00:02:03.991
a lot of me over the last couple
years because for the most part
you've all been very well

00:02:03.991,00:02:09.830
behaved for those of you who are
new to Defcon I'm priest and I'm
the guy you're going to see

00:02:09.830,00:02:14.768
right before you see hotel
security or the FBI. And I will
be helping the guy keeping you

00:02:14.768,00:02:19.940
out of jail or I'll be the guy
helping you to solve the problem
which isn't why I'm here right

00:02:19.940,00:02:27.180
now. There are some rumors
floating around that someone is
hacked the PBX here at Caesar's

00:02:27.180,00:02:33.120
or here at Bally's first of all
their faults second of all
whoever is floating those rumors

00:02:33.120,00:02:38.025
has really managed to piss off
Caesars entertainment how many
people here remember the Alexis

00:02:38.025,00:02:47.167
Park how many of you would like
to go back to the Alexis Park
[laughter] K I remember one time

00:02:47.167,00:02:53.974
at Alexis Park we had this huge
tent it had air conditioning in
it and two bright sparks decided

00:02:53.974,00:02:59.680
to hack the air conditioning
system in the tent we're self
congratulating each other while

00:02:59.680,00:03:06.653
saying god it's hot in here the
point being if you want to have
nice things pardon my language

00:03:06.653,00:03:13.460
don't fuck it up don't mess with
Caesars because Caesars will
mess with us back and we will go

00:03:13.460,00:03:24.004
back to the Alexis Park or the
Howard Johnsons by the airport
so yeah and how many people here

00:03:24.004,00:03:29.910
have stayed at a holiday inn
express last night? Anybody?
Okay so nobody here is a lawyer

00:03:29.910,00:03:36.049
[laughter] or for that matter
can play one on TV the point
being is if any of you have had

00:03:36.049,00:03:41.588
the bright idea to key up with
some cellular eavesdropping
equipment or any other equipment

00:03:41.588,00:03:46.760
you are in violation of the
United States patriot act and
when I say you'll be seeing me

00:03:46.760,00:03:51.798
before you see the FBI you will
be seeing me before you see the
FBI because they will take you

00:03:51.798,00:03:57.437
out that's a very good choice
sir they will take you out of
here in handcuffs. Somebody did

00:03:57.437,00:04:06.279
key up somebody is going out in
handcuffs so be smart about it
my kid now is ten years old and

00:04:06.279,00:04:12.652
we just had a conversation yeah
thank you so much he is actually
starting to do on his own

00:04:12.652,00:04:17.524
without knowing what they are
buffer overflows and SQL
injection attacks on some video

00:04:17.524,00:04:21.828
games he likes to play where
he's getting free services we
just had the daddy son

00:04:21.828,00:04:27.701
discussion about how hacking
good theft of services bad
[laughter] theft of services

00:04:27.701,00:04:33.740
felony hacking se- hacking and
turning it in for the bug bounty
good and basically the same

00:04:33.740,00:04:37.277
thing not that you guys are ten
years old but the same thing
applies here please do not do

00:04:37.277,00:04:42.082
something stupid. The last
person who did something stupid
threatened the life of the vice

00:04:42.082,00:04:46.119
president and actually spent
quite a bit of time in jail for
it and the FBI this year very

00:04:46.119,00:04:50.690
much is looking for people to
key up on the cell networks on
the wireless networks everything

00:04:50.690,00:04:58.165
else and uh >>You don't want to
meet this guy >>yeah the uh put
i'm putting the message out this

00:04:58.165,00:05:03.503
is the last message and then I'm
rushing off the stage the point
is I was asked to warn you about

00:05:03.503,00:05:06.907
that please don't mess up we
like it here we want to be at
Caesars palace next year and be

00:05:06.907,00:05:20.420
back here the year after that so
please don't mess it up k thanks
guys [applause] >>We're going to

00:05:20.420,00:05:26.726
cover don't be a a asshat or a
fucktard later on in this talk
[laughter] for right now fun

00:05:26.726,00:05:35.635
fact among other things uh
prostitution is not uh legal
here in Las Vegas you gotta go

00:05:35.635,00:05:40.307
someplace else you see those
people flipping their cards
trying to get you to meet an

00:05:40.307,00:05:50.217
escort that doesn't look
anything like on the card >>How
do you know? [laughter] >>He

00:05:50.217,00:05:59.993
knows all the escorts, he knows
all the escorts >>Trust me >>He
says trust me >>I've seen this

00:05:59.993,00:06:09.302
alright stay hydrated you are in
the desert drink a lot of water
try something with electrolytes

00:06:09.302,00:06:16.376
if you can find some brawndo
drink that [laughter] what's
that it is what yes you can also

00:06:16.376,00:06:21.114
try strike a good balance of
other things it's fine if you
want to go ahead and drink beer

00:06:21.114,00:06:25.018
but that can't be the only thing
you're drinking because remember
as much as you're putting in

00:06:25.018,00:06:32.759
you're putting out. Another fun
fact you can drink too much
water hyponatremia and it is uh

00:06:32.759,00:06:41.067
water intoxication so again
strike a good balance. We have
simple rules here for having a

00:06:41.067,00:06:50.977
good time at Defcon um you need
to get at least three hours of
sleep a night [laughter] thank

00:06:50.977,00:06:56.116
you very much I I have my own
>>Practice what you preach >>I
have my own laugh track yes

00:06:56.116,00:07:01.521
exactly, practice what so Ryan
told ya'll about the badges uh
if you were here for the last

00:07:01.521,00:07:07.661
talk um >>That's for the whole
week right? >>Yeah no three
three hours a night we were here

00:07:07.661,00:07:10.964
uh we were up ver very late last
night um doing the badges some
of the guys here were up much

00:07:10.964,00:07:21.308
later than I was so three yes
some guys are still up you? Two
eat at least two meals a day the

00:07:21.308,00:07:24.444
f- the hotel actually has pretty
good food uh down in the food
court it's relatively cheap it's

00:07:24.444,00:07:31.251
relatively good. Defcon offers
some different cafes and they
have improved the food

00:07:31.251,00:07:37.257
significantly over the past few
years and they have also reduced
the price so um there are lots

00:07:37.257,00:07:45.398
of opportunities for you to eat
please make sure that you do it.
Bathe at least once per day

00:07:45.398,00:07:53.606
honestly guys and girls
deodorant is your friend I know
that everybody is here that is

00:07:53.606,00:07:59.012
uh hanging out and you know you
wanna just spend time having a
good time I want you to know fun

00:07:59.012,00:08:05.118
fact number three now mosquitos
are attracted to body odor so
you know I don't I've seen some

00:08:05.118,00:08:11.024
of the mosquitos there are
mosquitos here they're big they
all have west nile they all have

00:08:11.024,00:08:22.836
uh zeka >>they do >>here? >>In
Nevada >>Oh okay there you go
[laughter] so every single one

00:08:22.836,00:08:31.478
of you better wash yourselves
good and yes with soap please
and apply deodorant do not apply

00:08:31.478,00:08:40.653
cologne like its armor
[laughter] ah you know just a
word about your shirts uh this

00:08:40.653,00:08:53.933
goes for the guys underbelly not
sexy >>Abs are though >>Yes abs
are sexy especially for you >>um

00:08:53.933,00:09:00.607
>>I'm the token gay on the
panel! [laughter] >>It's true
this is a diverse panel, we have

00:09:00.607,00:09:10.050
our Token >>right >>Yeah um now
the every year I hear all kinds
of people talking about they

00:09:10.050,00:09:14.721
leave and they get the Defcon
crud they spend a week sick as
days you guys don't get to go to

00:09:14.721,00:09:21.694
work doing whatever fist your
friends seriously fist them
often. When you go to the

00:09:21.694,00:09:27.367
bathroom >>Not hard >>No no do
not fist hard >>If anyone needs
any help I'm over here >>Wash

00:09:27.367,00:09:37.977
your hands please please please
>>After the fisting >>And after
peeing and after so many other

00:09:37.977,00:09:43.817
things cause another fun fact
here's actually a pretty cool
study 2014 study revealed that

00:09:43.817,00:09:53.760
fist bumps actually uh convey
fewer germs like 90% fewer germs
so just saying think about

00:09:53.760,00:10:05.638
fisting [laughter] This is Dick,
notice Dick is a hacker you can
tell he's a hacker because he

00:10:05.638,00:10:12.312
has his middle finger extended
and he has on a ski mask
[laughter] we're going to go

00:10:12.312,00:10:19.586
over ways you can not be a dick
we got some of the basics please
hold doors for people don't even

00:10:19.586,00:10:24.357
think that you're the only
person that's walking through
that door please check and keep

00:10:24.357,00:10:29.095
your head up I had to tell a
couple people on my way over
here please lift your head out

00:10:29.095,00:10:32.565
of your phone because you're not
paying attention to where you're
going and it was actually kind

00:10:32.565,00:10:38.404
of funny the other day we were
laughing somebody was saying how
how someone they had moved and

00:10:38.404,00:10:41.374
it would have been awesome
because they turned around and
there was somebody right there

00:10:41.374,00:10:46.045
and they almost uh crashed so
please make sure that you uh pay
attention and if you're going to

00:10:46.045,00:10:52.018
you know this is Defcon a lot of
us only see eachother once a
year if you're gonna have that

00:10:52.018,00:10:56.356
meeting step to the side of the
hallway please do not hold your
family reunion in the middle of

00:10:56.356,00:11:04.731
the hall our halls are narrow
enough. Another fun fact who has
downloaded the hacker tracker

00:11:04.731,00:11:15.275
app? [laughter] the hacker
tracker app was created by an
awesome chick um Whitney and she

00:11:15.275,00:11:27.387
works with us [applause] And she
has all the information in an
app you know this it makes it so

00:11:27.387,00:11:35.795
much easier than carrying around
your uh program um so I would
strongly have suggested that you

00:11:35.795,00:11:43.903
would have downloaded it before
coming to the Defcon network
Alright remember Priest's talk?

00:11:43.903,00:11:49.809
Please do not be an asshat um
don't ruin everybody's time
there are a lot of people here

00:11:49.809,00:11:52.345
that are that are here to really
have a good time and there's a
lot of fun stuff Defcon offers a

00:11:52.345,00:11:58.318
lot of fun stuff there are
parties there are lots of
different opportunities as a

00:11:58.318,00:12:02.589
matter of fact please stick
around there's a party after
this um hosted by Defcon and Duo

00:12:02.589,00:12:09.829
Security um but if you're gonna
be an asshat or if you're going
to do the stuff oh we have free

00:12:09.829,00:12:18.471
beer please stick around there's
gonna be free beer I probably
should have led with that

00:12:18.471,00:12:24.444
[applause] but like Priest was
saying you know don't do stupid
stuff don't throw things in the

00:12:24.444,00:12:31.484
air sir um you know you don't
want to you could put an eye out
we don't want to we don't want

00:12:31.484,00:12:42.862
nobody else really you could put
an eye out nobody nobody you can
heckle here this is fine but

00:12:42.862,00:12:47.400
please don't heckle the other
te- uh speakers everybody that's
done this has done a lot of work

00:12:47.400,00:12:54.407
some of the people up on on the
panel were actually CFP review
board members uh hope that I did

00:12:54.407,00:12:59.078
not expose anybody but um you
know one of the things that we
wanted to do is make sure that

00:12:59.078,00:13:03.683
we're getting quality talks
people put a lot of effort into
their talks just because you

00:13:03.683,00:13:08.688
don't agree with something or
you might know something wait
until a- they're done and talk

00:13:08.688,00:13:16.796
to them afterwards please.
Here's something yes you're
seeing people for the first time

00:13:16.796,00:13:24.303
and it's awkward hug time I I
would strongly suggest that
you're gonna ask ask before you

00:13:24.303,00:13:28.808
just simply walk up and hug
somebody otherwise you get that
church hug this or one hand or

00:13:28.808,00:13:35.848
you've got your arms in between
or somebody is squeezing you you
got a tyrannosaurus rex kinda

00:13:35.848,00:13:40.653
thing going on so try and uh uh
make sure that that's
appropriate >>Mike I do have a

00:13:40.653,00:13:45.425
question, do you prefer the
fisting or the free hugs or the
free hugs or the fisting? >>Uh

00:13:45.425,00:13:57.136
fist me first, then hug me
[laughter] Alright a word about
phones and wireless again you

00:13:57.136,00:14:02.508
should have downloaded hacker
tracker before coming here and
you heard there are people

00:14:02.508,00:14:07.580
apparently willing to screw
around with the wireless and the
phones and this is something

00:14:07.580,00:14:12.318
that you really don't want to
mess with so my suggestion is
make sure that you've got your

00:14:12.318,00:14:17.090
wireless turned off just do the
the simple opsec things that you
would uh normally do if you were

00:14:17.090,00:14:21.360
actually thinking about this and
not trying to figure out how
much beer you can get into your

00:14:21.360,00:14:30.837
body by the end of the day. Um
and it is a hacker convention so
expect to be in some sort of

00:14:30.837,00:14:34.373
pictures somebody's gonna take
the picture because everybody's
got a phone in their pocket

00:14:34.373,00:14:38.711
everybody's phone has a camera
everybody's taking pictures
please don't be upset. If you

00:14:38.711,00:14:43.616
see that somebody is taking your
picture and you don't approve
just ask chances are they'll

00:14:43.616,00:14:49.455
delete the picture for you if
they don't you're welcome to
talk to one of our ah sock goons

00:14:49.455,00:14:55.094
um but most likely they're gonna
remind you that you're in a
public place and it's anybody

00:14:55.094,00:14:59.065
can take pictures in fact you're
getting your picture taken
pretty much every time you walk

00:14:59.065,00:15:08.307
around ah in the casino. Not
everything here is free. Some
peoples you know they're walking

00:15:08.307,00:15:11.844
around and they see stuff laying
out it's not free it doesn't
mean it's free just because it's

00:15:11.844,00:15:16.182
laying out. Now we will give you
stuff there will be stuff
there's going to be giveaways

00:15:16.182,00:15:20.887
here we've got special lanyards
and we've got special noob coins
a select few will get things you

00:15:20.887,00:15:31.564
will get lots. Um so please ask
before you assume that it's a
free. One of the things you want

00:15:31.564,00:15:36.636
to make sure you're gonna do
when you're here, have a plan.
Because a lot of these talks are

00:15:36.636,00:15:40.106
going to fill up fast and it's
going to be really difficult
especially when we're spread out

00:15:40.106,00:15:45.845
as we are where some talks are
here in 101 and other talks are
over in Paris so please make

00:15:45.845,00:15:51.751
sure that you've take take a
minute read your program see
what the structure is and go

00:15:51.751,00:15:58.291
ahead and uh he asked for that
hug go ahead and make sure that
um >>did you fist him?

00:15:58.291,00:16:03.963
[laughter] >>You know what's
going on so you know how much
time you have and where you need

00:16:03.963,00:16:11.904
to go and we do have the uh
source of knowledge, where are
they located this year? Source

00:16:11.904,00:16:24.884
of Knowledge.. Yeah where can we
sign up no [laughter] so the
source of knowledge is around

00:16:24.884,00:16:35.094
somewhere they'll have a big
sign yeah. Oh contest and events
thank you very much. Ah Source

00:16:35.094,00:16:38.764
of Knowledge is in Contest and
Events. You can sign up it's
pretty cheap and you can get all

00:16:38.764,00:16:45.104
of the videos so in case you
missed one you can go back and
you can watch it later. There

00:16:45.104,00:16:49.742
are lots and lots of talks we've
already gone over the fact that
we've put a lot of effort into

00:16:49.742,00:16:55.248
making sure that there are good
talks for you and also the
people that are speaking took

00:16:55.248,00:17:00.686
the time to uh go through and
make sure that they've got good
quality stuff for you to check

00:17:00.686,00:17:07.627
out and listen to and hopefully
learn things hopefully you'll
learn things uh in more time

00:17:07.627,00:17:12.965
where you can absorb them rather
than the ten minutes that Lost
took to explain his processor

00:17:12.965,00:17:18.170
which was actually pretty
interesting. Remember to look
that part. Also how many of you

00:17:18.170,00:17:29.649
know that we have what are
called Villages at Defcon? Not
very many of you so villages are

00:17:29.649,00:17:34.687
actually places where you can go
and you can get hands on
experience uh this is a list of

00:17:34.687,00:17:38.691
the villages biohacking village
car hacking village crypto and
privacy village, internet of

00:17:38.691,00:17:44.030
things village, uh lock pick
village, packet ha- hacking
village, there are sky talks up

00:17:44.030,00:17:50.903
on the top of indigo correct? Uh
tamper evidence village and
wireless village, These are

00:17:50.903,00:17:55.274
places where if you're
interested and you want to learn
a little bit more about say lock

00:17:55.274,00:17:59.178
picking or you want to learn how
can I get that piece of tape off
the back of my computer without

00:17:59.178,00:18:03.716
somebody noticing that I've
taken it off uh you go to tamper
evidence and they'll teach you

00:18:03.716,00:18:08.120
how to do these things they're
gonna teach you how to how to
hack how to lock pick locks how

00:18:08.120,00:18:14.360
to do all of that stuff. So this
is something that you will need
to put yourself out there in

00:18:14.360,00:18:24.003
order to get a better experience
at Defcon. Um we also contests
and events we heard we talked

00:18:24.003,00:18:28.908
about it they're here at Bally's
they're back in the convention
center and they're sixty five

00:18:28.908,00:18:33.579
contests and events way too many
to list here but I wanted to go
ahead and list a few that are

00:18:33.579,00:18:44.123
highlights, Lost's challenge
[cheering] yes his many
challenges apparently he had a

00:18:44.123,00:18:48.794
challenge last night getting the
badges together [laughter]
Capture the flag is also a

00:18:48.794,00:18:51.697
challenge now this is going to
be a challenge for you because
the first time I came to Defcon

00:18:51.697,00:18:57.036
the first two years that's how I
got to Defcon I was uh my
company paid for me to attend

00:18:57.036,00:19:05.845
and uh be part of the capture
the flag um choose your battles
wisely I spent uh thirty six

00:19:05.845,00:19:10.249
hours straight at the first
capture the flag, the second
capture the flag was three days

00:19:10.249,00:19:15.988
straight so this was one of
those things where it takes a
long time it's a lot of fun you

00:19:15.988,00:19:22.261
get a lot of experience um you
put together a team it's awesome
but it also is going to take a

00:19:22.261,00:19:30.036
lot of your time. Uh this year
beck is the EFF badge hack pa-
pageant if you don't know what

00:19:30.036,00:19:35.307
that is it is freaking
hysterical and they have special
sashes this year for the winners

00:19:35.307,00:19:42.648
um but you could check it out on
uh facebook dot com slash EFF
and this is one of the areas

00:19:42.648,00:19:48.821
where you can hack the contest
that's the whole point is to win
a contest so but you know and

00:19:48.821,00:19:53.826
there are rules but all you have
to do is stay within the rules
they don't you don't have to

00:19:53.826,00:19:58.898
follow them explicitly they just
have to be you know followed and
you can hack and if you can hack

00:19:58.898,00:20:03.669
the contest you can win some of
these contests actually will
lead you to what's called black

00:20:03.669,00:20:12.411
badge a black badge is a badge
that can get you into Defcon for
free bless you for life kind of

00:20:12.411,00:20:19.151
a cool thing you register it's
it's a special badge uh designed
by Lost who's our celebrity so

00:20:19.151,00:20:26.892
I'll keep pointing at him >>You
want to hear something about it?
>>Yeah, please >>So other other

00:20:26.892,00:20:30.730
than the folks that were at my
talk earlier I'll give you guys
a little a little tidbit about

00:20:30.730,00:20:36.268
the uber badge this year so I
worked with the gentlemen who uh
is a professional special

00:20:36.268,00:20:45.744
effects guy in Hollywood and the
badge this year [chuckle] has a
a telescoping full articulated

00:20:45.744,00:21:01.093
appendage [laughter] and that's
all I'm gonna say about that.
[applause] >>Hey yeah awkward

00:21:01.093,00:21:07.099
anyway and you know there are
different contests that that are
black badge contests every year

00:21:07.099,00:21:11.837
so it pays to participate in as
many as you can if you win
awesome there's a good

00:21:11.837,00:21:19.612
possibility that you could get a
black badge anybody know about
demo labs or workshops? A few of

00:21:19.612,00:21:27.153
you do. This is something that's
Seth knows he was on the board
workshops are awesome because

00:21:27.153,00:21:33.159
this is an opportunity to
actually get training Defcon
offers you free or near free co

00:21:33.159,00:21:38.697
er uh training opportunities
they're about four hours each
and the the instructor provides

00:21:38.697,00:21:43.702
whatever they need to provide
and you would either just pay
for the parts or the things like

00:21:43.702,00:21:47.606
that this isn't like Blackhat
where it's like five thousand
dollars it's not like Sans where

00:21:47.606,00:21:51.844
it's five thousand dollars this
is Defcon you're going to get
something the community is going

00:21:51.844,00:21:59.852
to provide it to you for for as
little a cost as possible demo
labs also are an area where

00:21:59.852,00:22:07.526
people can talk about whether
it's tool that they've developed
or new techniques that they've

00:22:07.526,00:22:10.996
used or whether it's a gooey
front end for some command line
tool whatever it is demo labs

00:22:10.996,00:22:15.301
are offer you an opportunity to
actually see some things in
action um and they're relatively

00:22:15.301,00:22:23.008
quick twenty minute talks one of
the other areas we have two
areas actually we have uh swag

00:22:23.008,00:22:29.748
which is the official defcon
gear um I highly recommend if
you have not been to swag yet

00:22:29.748,00:22:36.722
get in swag it sells out fast um
all of the official defcon stuff
that's where you can find it now

00:22:36.722,00:22:41.961
the vendor hall is actual
vendors one of the things that
we try to do with vendors is we

00:22:41.961,00:22:45.865
make sure that they have some
sort of community support
they're not just a t-shirt

00:22:45.865,00:22:50.936
provider or something like that
uh if you go to hacker stickers
as an example you're going to be

00:22:50.936,00:22:55.741
able to find something you know
they're going to help you like
if you wanted to buy a lock pick

00:22:55.741,00:23:00.479
set from hacker stickers they're
going to teach you how to use
that lock pick set uh same thing

00:23:00.479,00:23:07.286
with siri pick which is another
tool uh lock pick provider. Now
one of the uh these actually

00:23:07.286,00:23:12.057
pretty cool I'm wearing em right
now, Gunnars, they uh provide
eyewear that if you work in

00:23:12.057,00:23:16.729
front of a computer or if you
play a lot of video games the
eyewear is awesome it will help

00:23:16.729,00:23:21.066
you with eye strain and your
eyes will not get as tired
quickly so check out the

00:23:21.066,00:23:24.937
different vendors we got a whole
bunch of them >>you look cool
too >>I do I look smashing in

00:23:24.937,00:23:37.850
these [laughter] [inaudible
comment] Power AD is not a part
of this >>brought to you by

00:23:37.850,00:23:51.430
Carl's Junior >>there you go
[laughter] [inaudible comment]
[applause] alright this is

00:23:51.430,00:24:02.308
awesome guys this is Romer Romer
is was the uh vendor head vendor
goon for more years yeah pretty

00:24:02.308,00:24:13.218
much since the creation of time
[inaudible comment] [laughter]
so one of the one of the things

00:24:13.218,00:24:19.024
that Lost really wanted to say
we'll just skip right over that
part, that Lost tried to say uh

00:24:19.024,00:24:24.263
during his talk and I'm trying
to say here is you need to reach
out now I'm going to go ahead

00:24:24.263,00:24:27.666
and borrow from Lost I'm going
to take about 30 seconds I would
like you to turn to your

00:24:27.666,00:25:13.779
neighbor and introduce yourself
seriously [inaudible audience
conversations] Alright that's a

00:25:13.779,00:25:24.256
little more than thirty seconds
but I'm pretty happy that this
started that much conversation

00:25:24.256,00:25:41.573
guys guys ladies now that you've
made new friends you guys can
hang out later it's remember now

00:25:41.573,00:25:48.313
that you have new friends you
can now drink free beer with
them when this is all over >>How

00:25:48.313,00:25:58.390
many of you fisted? >>Stop stop
oh this is going to be on
youtube alright one of the

00:25:58.390,00:26:03.796
things I want you to do also a
ah after this and outside of
this you know make sure that you

00:26:03.796,00:26:08.033
put yourself out there make sure
that you put yourself in a
position where you can find a

00:26:08.033,00:26:12.971
things that other people are
interested in that you might
share in common as an example

00:26:12.971,00:26:18.811
tomorrow uh during the day and
the uh one of the pint house
suites in the indigo tower

00:26:18.811,00:26:24.883
there's a travel con where it's
an international meet up um any
of you that are coming from a

00:26:24.883,00:26:29.721
foreign country and you're
concerned uh hey i'm not sure if
I'm going to find somebody that

00:26:29.721,00:26:35.994
speaks the same language er um
you know has has cultural things
in common that's a place to go

00:26:35.994,00:26:41.633
and meet people um also after
this the the noob party this is
a great place an opportunity to

00:26:41.633,00:26:47.272
to mingle and actually meet
people because you're under no
obligation you're here once you

00:26:47.272,00:26:52.411
know you can find somebody and
you can make a friend and you
can make that friend turn into

00:26:52.411,00:26:57.349
some sort of opportunity whether
it's to learn more get another
job you know there's lots of

00:26:57.349,00:27:02.354
things that you can find if you
if you just simply reach out and
find a friend. I will tell you

00:27:02.354,00:27:09.862
it is very difficult for me
because I do have social anxiety
I am very awkward [laughter] you

00:27:09.862,00:27:16.368
get to hear it a little bit here
it's easier because I'm talking
to you and I don't actually have

00:27:16.368,00:27:22.341
to interact with you I can talk
at you if you wanted to start a
conversation with me later then

00:27:22.341,00:27:30.649
you know pick a topic that I
know something about please
[laughter] but but the the

00:27:30.649,00:27:36.622
important thing is skipping over
the people who just won't let
that joke die um the important

00:27:36.622,00:27:43.462
thing is truly the if you find
somebody who can can in connect
with it's going to make a great

00:27:43.462,00:27:49.268
deal of difference because
Defcon gives you what you put
into it if all you do is go in

00:27:49.268,00:27:54.473
and attend a talk or all you do
is go and you sit down and you
do CTF with your head buried in

00:27:54.473,00:27:58.343
your laptop unfortunately that
that's what you're going to get
out of it there's nothing um so

00:27:58.343,00:28:07.619
I want to make sure that
everybody truly understands this
is the triple dog dare you can

00:28:07.619,00:28:12.424
not turn this one down that's
the way that it works >>oh yeah
>>Yeah I threw it out triple dog

00:28:12.424,00:28:22.467
dare that just happened, boom.
Oh I double dog dare last one
was double dog here just in case

00:28:22.467,00:28:28.273
you missed it triple dog dare
yeah well you know this is one
do something you've never done

00:28:28.273,00:28:35.047
before you know if you're here
and you're a SYS admin and and
that's what you do find

00:28:35.047,00:28:41.019
something else get in the
internet of things or go in eh
you know check out one of the

00:28:41.019,00:28:45.424
other contests, hack your car
it's actually pretty cool the
stuff that those guys are doing.

00:28:45.424,00:28:51.530
Uh biohacking you know this is
actually something that's also
kind of fun too so just try the

00:28:51.530,00:28:58.003
villages go to a party I'm
giving you the first opportunity
to go to the party after this

00:28:58.003,00:29:05.978
again free beer just in case you
missed it. So now I'm going to
take a little bit and ask the

00:29:05.978,00:29:10.949
people that are on the panel um
basically what I want them to do
is introduce themselves and kind

00:29:10.949,00:29:16.588
of give you an understanding of
what they did to get into Defcon
and what they got out of Defcon

00:29:16.588,00:29:24.696
and they offer you any kind of
advice and I think if we start
with Romer [applause] >>it'll go

00:29:24.696,00:29:30.936
downhill from there! >>No,
honestly Romer is the person who
got me into to Defcon I mean

00:29:30.936,00:29:38.176
like I said I came here I did
two CTF but I met uh Romer and
after that you know he actually

00:29:38.176,00:29:42.981
came and worked with me we hung
out we were friends he was best
man at my wedding so this is one

00:29:42.981,00:29:54.626
of the things that you get when
you meet somebody cool at Defcon
[applause] >>Gonna make me cry

00:29:54.626,00:30:01.667
and shit alright first off um I
will do all the shit you wanted
me to do but I love these things

00:30:01.667,00:30:06.471
and I just have to say fuck a
few times because it I'm
basically twelve years old and I

00:30:06.471,00:30:13.311
like saying fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck written across the screen
fuckin fuck mother fucker

00:30:13.311,00:30:34.866
[laughter] yes sweet um alright
so I got into Defcon seriously
I'm fuckin twelve um so I think

00:30:34.866,00:30:41.139
the first Defcon I came to is
Defcon seven or eight and uh
Russ who is now like I don't

00:30:41.139,00:30:53.919
know what's his title? Grand
Poobah or something um at the
time he just like I I came here

00:30:53.919,00:30:55.020
as an attendee and he was a goon
and he's like hey man can you
help me out uh this was back in

00:30:55.020,00:30:59.391
the Alexis Park days which I
actually do want to go back to
whether Priest does or not um

00:30:59.391,00:31:03.729
and so I didn't realize that
that meant that for the next
sixteen years I was basically be

00:31:03.729,00:31:10.635
spending three to five hundred
hours a week er not a week but a
year honestly I'm pretty fuckin'

00:31:10.635,00:31:15.040
awesome I can do that shit um I
didn't know that I was going to
be spending three to five

00:31:15.040,00:31:19.377
hundred hours a year preparing
for Defcon uh for the next
sixteen years and then now I

00:31:19.377,00:31:23.648
just sit around and drink which
is awesome I love being retired
it's the best I can not

00:31:23.648,00:31:28.487
recommend it enough oh it's
glorious all of my friends are
like dealing with badges last

00:31:28.487,00:31:37.729
night I'm like sucks to be you
[laughter] so the um I I mean
one of the coolest things about

00:31:37.729,00:31:49.674
what Defcon was back then though
was like it was what [laughter]
um it was really easy to go and

00:31:49.674,00:31:53.712
just walk up to somebody and
start a conversation I mean Mike
talked about it a little bit

00:31:53.712,00:31:57.349
already you get like the pools
at the Alexis park were glorious
you could just walk up you hear

00:31:57.349,00:32:01.319
people talking about something
that you're interested in you
offer them a beer and you join

00:32:01.319,00:32:05.457
in the conversation and that's
basically I knew one person when
I came to my first Defcon now I

00:32:05.457,00:32:11.630
feel like I probably know about
fifteen thousand which is pretty
cool um and Russ was a loser too

00:32:11.630,00:32:15.901
man he fuckin would like go to
bed at like nine pm you're like
dude everybody else is still

00:32:15.901,00:32:23.408
awake because they're not like
grandparents um so but you know
from there I kind of like wanted

00:32:23.408,00:32:27.012
to get more involved because I
thought this was really neat I'm
like I found people that dig the

00:32:27.012,00:32:31.216
same shit that I dig they want
to do the same stuff that I want
to do they want to cause a lot

00:32:31.216,00:32:36.521
of the same kind of trouble that
I wanted to cause um so like one
of the things that's kind of

00:32:36.521,00:32:40.759
cool this year uh Mike mentioned
the villages and seriously it
was like the bubba gump of

00:32:40.759,00:32:51.770
villages the shrimp scampi
village don't forget the iot
village but the one of the

00:32:51.770,00:32:55.373
things the wireless village is
doing this year was something
that I started uh defcon ten I

00:32:55.373,00:32:59.778
think which was the first time
we wardrove Vegas and we did
wardriving contest they're

00:32:59.778,00:33:03.849
actually doing an old school
wardriving contest this year um
which I think is kind of neat

00:33:03.849,00:33:08.954
and it would be interesting to
see what what the wireless map
actually looks like here now but

00:33:08.954,00:33:13.024
um you know one of the things
that was really neat about the
way things were and Mike

00:33:13.024,00:33:17.195
mentioned it with the contest
when I ran that contest I
actually had only a couple of

00:33:17.195,00:33:24.135
rules um and the the last rule
was if it's not the uh
explicitly disallowed then it's

00:33:24.135,00:33:30.275
allowed and so like the first
year that we did that with like
I said think it was Defcon 10

00:33:30.275,00:33:36.047
the shmoo group read through the
rules and they realized that
nothing actually said they had

00:33:36.047,00:33:42.621
to drive so they contacted one
of the uh local news stations
and said hey will you dr- fly us

00:33:42.621,00:33:48.059
around in your helicopter um
we'll give you a store, they
they won the contest [laughter]

00:33:48.059,00:33:55.667
um uh then the next year like uh
I think it was the wiggle group
they said they they looked at

00:33:55.667,00:33:59.771
the rules and they didn't
realize nothing said that it had
to be Vegas and you got uh well

00:33:59.771,00:34:07.913
yeah you got extra points for
unique access points ones that
only your team found so they

00:34:07.913,00:34:16.087
drove to LA and and [laughter]
they won too [laughter] So I
mean yeah I mean hack the

00:34:16.087,00:34:21.426
contest is like the most fun
like as the organizer that was
the shit that I wanted to see

00:34:21.426,00:34:25.163
what were you guys gonna come up
with that was going to make me
say holy crap I wish I had

00:34:25.163,00:34:30.869
thought of that that's awesome
next year I'm totally going to
not let that happen so um but

00:34:30.869,00:34:37.409
yeah I mean try to get involved
try to like I mean like go up to
people at the bar and buy em a

00:34:37.409,00:34:43.515
drink or ask them to buy you one
that's a bold choice but it
might work uh yeah we had kids

00:34:43.515,00:34:48.019
coming up last night like it was
weird some dude came up to me
today and he's like hey aren't

00:34:48.019,00:34:53.024
you one of the organizers I'm
like yeah he said I recognize
your voice from the documentary

00:34:53.024,00:34:57.162
and that really pissed me off
because I didn't think I don't
think I sound anything like that

00:34:57.162,00:35:02.968
and I'm like shit my voice
really does sound like that
that's really sucks I got this

00:35:02.968,00:35:07.706
weird lisp I didn't even know I
had [laughter] I've watch it and
been like I don't sound like

00:35:07.706,00:35:12.944
that so but yeah I mean listen
to the goons they're here to
help you have a good time

00:35:12.944,00:35:15.847
they're also a lot of really
smart people and they're
probably some of the best

00:35:15.847,00:35:26.825
friends I've ever had or you
guys ever will make so thank you
>>Woo! [applause] >>hey you dude

00:35:26.825,00:35:33.365
on the stage! >>Hi there! Uh my
name is ewon wofo and I run the
scavenger hunt! Um instead of

00:35:33.365,00:35:39.671
going to any talks do not go to
any talks unless they are
relevant to your employment, you

00:35:39.671,00:35:45.610
are paid to be here to go to
that talk, do not go to talks
>>What! >>Three months from now

00:35:45.610,00:35:51.649
they will be posted on the
internet >>What! >>Instead you
should go and enjoy Defcon

00:35:51.649,00:35:57.155
>>Just don't do the scavenger
hunt! [laughter] >>I don't care
if you do the scavenger hunt,

00:35:57.155,00:36:05.263
just don't do the talks! Go do
other >>So leave right now is
what he's saying >>No no no

00:36:05.263,00:36:09.534
>>Follow the directions, follow
the directions >>Okay alright
play the scavenger hunt for fun

00:36:09.534,00:36:22.647
>>Seriously >>we we're what
keeps the defcon fun >>STFU dude
holy crap [applause] alright I

00:36:22.647,00:36:29.554
actually absolutely love the
randomness of this so next I'd
like to invite HighWiz up

00:36:29.554,00:36:33.191
HighWiz actually like I said he
started Defcon 101 this was
something that it was uh you

00:36:33.191,00:36:38.897
know kind of a a fun thing it
was the rules the frequently
asked questions which turned

00:36:38.897,00:36:47.806
into a a talk and now it's
turned into this >>Thanks for
making me your next asshole >>Um

00:36:47.806,00:36:54.746
I'm not gonna say much just I'm
not I'm not gonna say much just
that number one a lot of the

00:36:54.746,00:37:01.886
people up here didn't want a a
101 at all Romer and Lost the
first year did not want 101 why

00:37:01.886,00:37:06.257
do we need a 101 why do we need
to help out the noobs and
>>Somebody has to teach you how

00:37:06.257,00:37:10.895
to hack you're not gonna
>>Exactly that was it and now
how many how many new people

00:37:10.895,00:37:17.035
here? Put your hands way up
alright don't be scared, don't
be afraid, raise your hands

00:37:17.035,00:37:23.374
because as everyone here has
said or reiterated you're gonna
get out of Defcon what you put

00:37:23.374,00:37:30.415
into it you have to be an active
participant you have you know
three to sixty one days a year

00:37:30.415,00:37:38.556
where you can sit on RIC so log
off alright? Log off and go talk
to people don't sit in the

00:37:38.556,00:37:43.094
hallways don't do the badge
contest don't sit in the
hallways you know don't play on

00:37:43.094,00:37:50.268
your computer go talk to people
um >>I did >>Yes like like many
of these people did and that's

00:37:50.268,00:37:55.573
how they got involved uh and if
you come up to some of us later
we'll give you um challenge

00:37:55.573,00:38:01.613
coins really cool challenge
coins that uh Mike made and um
uh I'll have an interesting

00:38:01.613,00:38:07.051
question later on for when we
play a game and uh the winners
will get a pair of Gunnar

00:38:07.051,00:38:18.963
glasses >>Whaaat? >>Yes! >>Nice!
>> So uh that's it for me um
Mike you're up >>Back up >>Back

00:38:18.963,00:38:25.003
up oh and no no no one other
thing any cute guys out there
you know if you want to hang out

00:38:25.003,00:38:41.853
later putting that out there
[applause] >>Next I'd like you
to hear from Nikita, Nikita is

00:38:41.853,00:38:48.226
one of the organizers of Defcon
and is super awesome just in
case you weren't aware she's

00:38:48.226,00:38:59.270
awesome, she's so awesome I
tweeted it >>We love you Nikita
[cheers] Watch your nipples!

00:38:59.270,00:39:03.708
Because he is! >>Oh okay so this
is really uncomfortable for me I
have incredibly bad social

00:39:03.708,00:39:10.582
anxiety so you will very rarely
see me talk to this many people
I get a little bit shaky so give

00:39:10.582,00:39:19.457
me a break there okay um I work
for Defcon all year round I help
organize the conference um I am

00:39:19.457,00:39:30.401
the [applause] t- thank you- I'm
the director of [applause] thank
you um I'm the director of the

00:39:30.401,00:39:36.274
CFP board as well so a lot of
the um gentlemen on the CFP
board and ladies as well we have

00:39:36.274,00:39:43.815
quite a few um I help coordinate
uh getting all these talks that
you don't want to go to while

00:39:43.815,00:39:48.253
you're here and then afterwards
I have the pleasure of
coordinating getting them put up

00:39:48.253,00:39:57.161
online so that you can enjoy
them there and so I do that and
I kinda just um bits and pieces

00:39:57.161,00:40:04.168
here and there a little bit of
everything >>Nikita makes Defcon
>>yes >>Oh [applause] thank you

00:40:04.168,00:40:13.645
I'm >>Let me just say it's' uh
NIkita and Ryan together with
his badges and all the hard work

00:40:13.645,00:40:20.084
Nikita does I mean everyone else
does a lot of hard work but
between the two of them it is

00:40:20.084,00:40:26.591
Defcon they are the pure epitome
of Defcon [applause] >>Thank you
that's that's a lovely that's a

00:40:26.591,00:40:32.630
lovely compliment but I would be
remiss if I didn't speak up for
for all of the other goons that

00:40:32.630,00:40:38.169
that we have and volunteers on
staff as well and you know we do
have quite a matriarchy in

00:40:38.169,00:40:45.009
within Defcon most of the uh
organization um for some of the
the top level stuff is is all

00:40:45.009,00:40:56.254
female surprisingly um hotel
women um administration women,
uh we've got it's true it's true

00:40:56.254,00:41:03.561
workshops women um uh yeah so
just we we are here you we're
just really we're just really

00:41:03.561,00:41:10.702
busy so um I don't know what
else to they they asked that's
it? That's all I gotta say

00:41:10.702,00:41:16.407
alright thank you I really want
to encourage everybody to just
have a good time and co- stay

00:41:16.407,00:41:30.655
party have some drinks
[applause] >>WOO! >>Do you want
to talk about these? >>I don't

00:41:30.655,00:41:35.893
know anything about it >>Yes you
do [laughter] >>You have one
around your neck >>I have one

00:41:35.893,00:41:40.732
around my neck these are special
lanyards these are part of the
the stuff that we're going to

00:41:40.732,00:41:47.438
hand out to people um if you are
doing Lost's challenge you do
need this you need to either see

00:41:47.438,00:41:53.711
it take a picture of it get one
so whatever you're gonna do if
you're gonna do Lost's challenge

00:41:53.711,00:41:57.482
and try to figure it out you
need to get one of of these and
with that actually I would like

00:41:57.482,00:42:08.025
for Lost to come up and speak
[applause] >>WOO! >>So I don't
want to talk for long because

00:42:08.025,00:42:13.664
ya'll heard me talking just
before this so uh I've got ten
minutes let's redo the processor

00:42:13.664,00:42:21.639
backwards [laughter] we're going
to start with the playstation
and end up with a rock so uh

00:42:21.639,00:42:26.711
when I came to my first Defcon I
didn't know body anybody and I
decided that I had to prove to

00:42:26.711,00:42:33.451
everybody that I was worthy of
being there so I competed in a
contest by a guy who uh goes by

00:42:33.451,00:42:38.556
the name of Neural who has kind
of disappeared from the scene
now and uh >>Toe jam >>Toe jam

00:42:38.556,00:42:45.029
>>yeah and uh and I actually won
that competition and um from
then it was it's just been

00:42:45.029,00:42:49.167
downhill ever since for me in in
the fact that uh uh Romer was
talking about how much time you

00:42:49.167,00:42:57.575
spend during the year getting
ready for Defcon so everyone
always asks me when I start prep

00:42:57.575,00:43:03.714
for the stuff that I do and it
usually starts midway through
this Defcon I'll be already

00:43:03.714,00:43:08.319
working on stuff for next year
that's the only way I I I can
get it all done and I would like

00:43:08.319,00:43:13.724
to disagree with with HighWiz I
don't think it's Nikita and I
that's Defcon it's all of you

00:43:13.724,00:43:22.500
guys that make Defcon >>Awww
[cheering] >>Because seriously
because uh when I do the

00:43:22.500,00:43:29.340
challenges and stuff like that
that's just me like expressing
all of my crazy weird interests

00:43:29.340,00:43:34.912
in puzzle form but watching
people go through it and uh
seeing people come up with

00:43:34.912,00:43:40.818
clever and interesting ways of
solving the stuff in ways that I
didn't even think of that's

00:43:40.818,00:43:47.158
exactly what the spirit and
epitome of a hacker con is and
so I feel very relaxed when I'm

00:43:47.158,00:43:52.964
at Defcon when I'm not rushing
around trying to fix problems
because I don't feel like I have

00:43:52.964,00:43:57.802
to explain my motivations behind
a lof stuff because I'm with uh
you know like minded individuals

00:43:57.802,00:44:03.975
um I I like coming to a place
where I don't generally have to
explain my t-shirts to people

00:44:03.975,00:44:11.015
because I mean all of us at
least I assume a lot of you out
here have worn a t-shirt or two

00:44:11.015,00:44:22.026
that when you go to the grocery
store and the clerk looks at
your shirt and doesn't know what

00:44:22.026,00:44:25.563
the hell they're looking at
that's pretty common fair but
you come to Defcon and

00:44:25.563,00:44:27.632
everyone's like you'll find
somebody who understands your
shirt no matter how crazy off

00:44:27.632,00:44:30.468
the wall or complex it is so um
I uh since we're introducing
what what we've done so I uh

00:44:30.468,00:44:37.808
many years ago at Defcon I had
gotten a robotics company
Parallax to donate a bunch of

00:44:37.808,00:44:44.282
robotics kits and I started at
one end of the conference and I
walked through the conference

00:44:44.282,00:44:49.187
saying who wants to learn how to
build a robot and that's all I
said and I walked from one end

00:44:49.187,00:44:52.223
to the other and by the time I
got to the other end of the
conference it was like the pied

00:44:52.223,00:44:56.360
piper I had a trail of about
forty five people behind me we
didn't have a room we didn't

00:44:56.360,00:45:03.000
have a place to do it it wasn't
a village and we sat down on the
floor of the contest area in the

00:45:03.000,00:45:09.006
Alexis Park and I taught a
robotics class on the spot and
from that the hardware hacking

00:45:09.006,00:45:12.410
village was born and that's
where the hardware hacking
village came to be and that's

00:45:12.410,00:45:16.314
the kind of stuff that we want
to encourage to happen and we
encourage you guys to do.

00:45:16.314,00:45:20.751
Several of the contests that are
out there now are people that
used to compete in my mystery

00:45:20.751,00:45:24.555
box challenge not not the badge
challenge but I used to do uh a
much more difficult contest

00:45:24.555,00:45:30.194
called the mystery challenge and
now they're doing things like
the DarkNet project those guys

00:45:30.194,00:45:34.398
are awesome if you haven't taken
a look or you haven't heard of
it go see the DarkNet stuff

00:45:34.398,00:45:38.869
those guys do an amazing job
they have a really cool badge
and they only make like two

00:45:38.869,00:45:43.407
hundred of them so they're very
um if you want to see one go
find those guys and take a look

00:45:43.407,00:45:47.111
at them because it's it's worth
the time investment to seek out
these little niche things and

00:45:47.111,00:45:52.483
there's all these little pockets
of community that kind of do
their own thing there's other

00:45:52.483,00:45:57.088
parties that have like puzzles
that you have to solve to get
into the party there's uh

00:45:57.088,00:46:01.759
different meetup groups and
things like that so I would
encourage you to to get involved

00:46:01.759,00:46:07.164
and and have fun I know everyone
keeps saying we keep yeah
interrupt me >>Um one thing that

00:46:07.164,00:46:14.372
you didn't really kinda glossed
over on uh the robotics class
that he did, that's the

00:46:14.372,00:46:19.410
defconest thing I've ever seen
anybody do Ryan wasn't a staff
member he wasn't running

00:46:19.410,00:46:25.316
anything he was a dude that said
I want to teach people shit it
was the most amazing thing I've

00:46:25.316,00:46:28.986
ever seen I'm like who the fuck
is this guy I've got to meet him
thought it was incredible and

00:46:28.986,00:46:34.458
that's what defcon really is all
about >>Thank you yeah because
people always ask how do I get

00:46:34.458,00:46:38.796
involved you make yourself get
involved you you're a hacker be
active about these things don't

00:46:38.796,00:46:43.467
sit on your ass and wait for
people to do it and in response
to uh to the thing about the

00:46:43.467,00:46:48.272
lanyards peo- apparently there's
already a Reddit up where people
are trying to collect all the

00:46:48.272,00:46:53.144
information and the pieces
because people remote solve the
contest every year as well we

00:46:53.144,00:46:58.149
have people in Germany uh I know
we have the guy in Japan and we
have we have people all over the

00:46:58.149,00:47:03.988
country that have people on the
ground in the conference who are
remoting people in to work uh on

00:47:03.988,00:47:08.092
the conference >>Yeah but you
married the smartest one >>And I
was getting to that, and I

00:47:08.092,00:47:15.566
actually met my wife that way um
one year I realized there was
this this young lady who was

00:47:15.566,00:47:21.972
being skyped in to team meeting
because I love walking around to
see the different teams working

00:47:21.972,00:47:27.578
on my contest that's the joy for
me of all the work that I do and
I saw that they they they had a

00:47:27.578,00:47:30.781
laptop out and a Skype session I
was like what are you doing they
were like Oh we're skyping in

00:47:30.781,00:47:35.186
this this this girl who solves
your crypto really really fast
and we don't understand how

00:47:35.186,00:47:39.623
she's doing it but she's great
and then I went and saw another
team I was like wait that's the

00:47:39.623,00:47:44.895
same person this is a different
team in this like furious
competition [laughter] and I

00:47:44.895,00:47:50.167
said wait what's going on and
she was social engineering the
teams from home wasn't even at

00:47:50.167,00:47:56.140
Defcon and had interjected and
was actually a part of multiple
teams and so and I eventually

00:47:56.140,00:48:02.913
wound up married to her
[laughter] yeah and yes so
anyway so yeah so so guys so

00:48:02.913,00:48:10.621
there's hope for you out there
you could find you know anyway I
I've talked enough I'm going to

00:48:10.621,00:48:25.436
let other people talk so >>Woo!
[applause] >>I think it's time
for Jay, Jay's the newest member

00:48:25.436,00:48:36.347
of our team um >>I'm Jay >>Hi
Jay >>It's like alcoholics
anonymous, hi Jay welcome um oh

00:48:36.347,00:48:56.667
yeah there is so please welcome
Jay >>Thank you >>WOO! Jay!
[Applause] >>Thank you Thank you

00:48:56.667,00:49:01.405
>>WOO! WOO! [applause] >>Alright
so uh I did wanted to uh address
Nikita really quick because she

00:49:01.405,00:49:07.111
said that everybody's uh female
on the uh everything here
working it she still needs us to

00:49:07.111,00:49:13.717
open her jars so we are not
obsolete men we still can open
jars um what so um yeah this is

00:49:13.717,00:49:19.323
my third Defcon uh last year was
the first year I got to actually
uh work in and help out and do

00:49:19.323,00:49:25.262
anything here but it's kind of
fun uh I met this fool many many
years ago Crypt, Crypt Bitch,

00:49:25.262,00:49:31.802
Crypture I think it is still um
still Crypture? Crypture this
year again? Okay Crypture it is

00:49:31.802,00:49:38.909
it's going to come up on the
thing so um I met him many years
ago and he introduced me to this

00:49:38.909,00:49:42.546
and uh he said hey there's this
thing called Defcon you should
come to it it's a bunch of

00:49:42.546,00:49:46.450
hackers I'm like pfft I don't
know what a computer is I can
check my email and that's about

00:49:46.450,00:49:53.424
it and I'm serious I really can
check my email and google now so
I'm doing well but uh yeah thank

00:49:53.424,00:50:00.564
you I appreciate it and um he
told me to come to this and I
had no clue what it was I didn't

00:50:00.564,00:50:04.768
know uh you know what I would
learn who I would meet but uh
large group of people that are

00:50:04.768,00:50:08.272
smarter than me which is
anywhere I go including Walmart
is a pretty exciting place for

00:50:08.272,00:50:16.180
me, it's true, cashiers are
genius um so uh he got me here
finally after probably about

00:50:16.180,00:50:21.986
five years of trying and um I
showed up he said hey help same
thing as uh with Romer you know

00:50:21.986,00:50:29.193
he said hey help me do this and
now I'm I'm working again uh I
took time off of work to come

00:50:29.193,00:50:35.666
and work I'm not sure why so I'm
here uh and I I've tried to
solve uh the badge challenge um

00:50:35.666,00:50:42.706
I did not get past the very
first part >>This is a badge >>I
solved the first part [laughter]

00:50:42.706,00:50:47.912
so um other than that I I can't
do anything with it so I need
something a little more simple

00:50:47.912,00:50:54.251
for me and uh so I I asked uh
Lost over here I said hey is
there anything you can do for um

00:50:54.251,00:51:01.325
this simple minded folk such as
myself he said pfft probably and
uh and he did so he came up with

00:51:01.325,00:51:08.766
something up quite exciting and
this is uh this is a little
easier challenge I suppose I'm

00:51:08.766,00:51:13.304
able to solve it so I have some
coins um that a if anybody is
interested in trying to solve

00:51:13.304,00:51:16.974
this and give me the answer so I
can tell him I did it um come
and find me uh I have a couple I

00:51:16.974,00:51:22.780
can probably get out to ya and
then there's some really rare
ones which uh we haven't told

00:51:22.780,00:51:28.185
anybody yet we're trying to get
these to the goons um so oh you
want one? We'll see what we can

00:51:28.185,00:51:32.523
do so uh we're trying to get
these to the goons and they have
their own separate little uh

00:51:32.523,00:51:37.995
thing on the back um I would
love to uh have somebody figure
this out for me so I can look

00:51:37.995,00:51:43.334
like I'm actually part of the
group so but that's it nothing
else from me, any questions? Any

00:51:43.334,00:52:01.218
que- answers? Questions answers
>>WOO, yeah! [applause] >>You're
next Casey >>Because you were

00:52:01.218,00:52:07.358
talking about wanting in and
have to come and get the last
word [laughter] so at the party

00:52:07.358,00:52:11.795
there's um there's a group and
I'm just kind of getting the
information now that is trying

00:52:11.795,00:52:15.799
to organize up to kinda get
together and talk about
diversity and so they're gonna

00:52:15.799,00:52:19.336
be here pass out some
information to try to get people
together I don't know much about

00:52:19.336,00:52:24.942
it I'm just telling you now if
you're interested in that it's
available but what I really also

00:52:24.942,00:52:32.549
wanted to say is we talked about
deodorant a lot haven't we? But
ladies that means you too! Okay?

00:52:32.549,00:52:42.760
Alright thanks [applause] We've
got two more speakers that we've
got unless you guys are going to

00:52:42.760,00:52:48.732
be real upset about not speaking
um and then we're going to get
to the fun part name that noob

00:52:48.732,00:52:55.272
>>WOO! >>But to bring it down a
little bit I'd like Casey to
come up and talk [applause]

00:52:55.272,00:53:07.084
>>everybody having a good time?
[cheers] it's great to be here
well um I think I just wanted to

00:53:07.084,00:53:11.822
tell you a little bit about my
first Defcon when I came I only
knew one person sitting right

00:53:11.822,00:53:16.260
there, that's my little brother
Ryan and I'm very proud of him
uh he does a lot of work for you

00:53:16.260,00:53:22.032
guys and uh really uh does it
out of a love for the community
and uh and giving back and uh

00:53:22.032,00:53:30.240
it's a been a really interesting
thing to see how my brother has
grown and uh really come into

00:53:30.240,00:53:37.648
his own in this community and
I'm very proud of him so after
he uh introduced himself into

00:53:37.648,00:53:43.053
Defcon after he'd be coming a
few years he decided to uh bring
in the next wave and he invited

00:53:43.053,00:53:48.492
me uh to coming along with him
and I didn't know anybody and uh
I thought hey it's gonna be a

00:53:48.492,00:53:53.397
really cool weekend hanging out
with my brother and I came with
him he said here go carry these

00:53:53.397,00:54:02.072
boxes and then he disappeared
[laughter] so um I basically had
to be left to my own devices you

00:54:02.072,00:54:06.643
know support him where I could
and everything but he's a very
busy guy at this thing and uh

00:54:06.643,00:54:11.381
went out and made my own set of
friends and I really felt that
uh first year that I had won

00:54:11.381,00:54:17.154
Defcon When the on the last day
at Defcon HighWiz comes up to me
he gives me uh uh a bump key

00:54:17.154,00:54:21.291
that he'd gotten for me and he
says hey I got you something and
and this is like right before

00:54:21.291,00:54:28.365
closing ceremonies and and and
no it was a exactly and and Ryan
walks up to me and he looks

00:54:28.365,00:54:33.504
amazed and he goes he's talking
to you? And I said yeah he's
talking to me we hung out all

00:54:33.504,00:54:37.341
through Defcon I went to all the
parties with him with Tom I had
a good time and he goes but he

00:54:37.341,00:54:43.347
doesn't talk to new people
[laughter] so I felt like I kind
of owned Defcon that year uh I

00:54:43.347,00:54:50.888
went to talks uh I got a mohawk
for charity uh and got to know
uh what have become my best

00:54:50.888,00:54:56.260
friends in the world and uh I
haven't missed a Defcon since
Defcon17 and I know it's

00:54:56.260,00:55:00.063
redundant and you've heard it a
lot but I'm here to tell you
that Defcon is going to be what

00:55:00.063,00:55:09.039
you make of it uh stretch beyond
what's comfortable >>Oh yeah!
[applause] >>And put yourself

00:55:09.039,00:55:13.210
out there you will get to know
some of the most interesting
things and some of the most

00:55:13.210,00:55:18.482
interesting people and honestly
what are likely to become some
of the best friends you'll ever

00:55:18.482,00:55:22.419
make this tends to be a very
close knit and a very loyal
community and I would invite you

00:55:22.419,00:55:27.724
to do so all of us are
approachable all of you are
approachable everybody let's get

00:55:27.724,00:55:45.642
to know each other and uh glad
you're here [applause] >>So
inappropriate speaking of

00:55:45.642,00:55:53.917
alright so yes Crypt is uh here
a few years longer than uh Jay
and actually he's made a huge

00:55:53.917,00:56:09.132
impact on our team so I'm going
to ask him to come up [applause]
>>First of a [laughter] first of

00:56:09.132,00:56:13.737
all Ryan everyone complained
last year about how big you made
the badges I think this year's

00:56:13.737,00:56:22.779
are ridiculous no um I'm >>They
can't see because they can't see
>>Oh oh yeah I'm good on my

00:56:22.779,00:56:34.858
tippy toes [laughter] >>Focus
>>I'm trying okay so I am super
super tired so I'm gonna

00:56:34.858,00:56:40.864
apologize for everything oh I'm
loud I don't need a phone I'm
sure can can everyone hear me

00:56:40.864,00:56:47.638
over there? >>WOO, yeah! >>See I
got the what which is what I
expected um I honestly um just

00:56:47.638,00:56:54.111
want to thank everybody on this
stage um because if these great
people weren't here I wouldn't

00:56:54.111,00:57:02.219
want to come every year um for
me um Defcon actually except for
this year has never really been

00:57:02.219,00:57:08.725
I've never been able to actually
do all the fun stuff I've never
been able to do Ryan's challenge

00:57:08.725,00:57:11.795
I've never been able to actually
in participate in a contest or
do anything at all but I've got

00:57:11.795,00:57:16.733
to hang around with some of the
most amazing people I have ever
met in my entire life and all of

00:57:16.733,00:57:23.173
them actually are here and then
some of them are still working
um but a I just want to thank

00:57:23.173,00:57:28.578
everyone and you guys know how
much work you guys did this
weekend or this week and um I

00:57:28.578,00:57:34.184
appreciate all of the effort
because I asked a lot of people
like the ho- I mean Onch over

00:57:34.184,00:57:40.957
here he and I both have not gone
asleep I don't even remember
when yeah so I hope you guys

00:57:40.957,00:57:46.530
enjoy the badges [laughter]
because otherwise they would
have came in this form but uh

00:57:46.530,00:57:53.503
>>I hope you enjoy them too
>>yeah but yeah again thank you
everybody on stage and then

00:57:53.503,00:57:57.374
thank you all of you I hope to
add you to the collection of
friends that I can't wait to

00:57:57.374,00:58:01.211
talk to next year um >>Are you
going to give out your cell
phone number to everybody? >>Yes

00:58:01.211,00:58:07.984
um my cell phone number is
HighWiz um yeah no thank you
again I'm super tired so thank

00:58:07.984,00:58:24.768
you [applause] >>Regretting my
choices [laughter] I do I it's
not just at Defcon that I regret

00:58:24.768,00:58:29.773
my choices so the fun part about
this is name that noob one of
the things that everybody does

00:58:29.773,00:58:36.913
you've heard me introduce people
Crypt, Lost, Jay whose um you
know it's a handle this is a

00:58:36.913,00:58:43.086
nickname this is something that
you have uh it makes it easier
for you to introduce yourself

00:58:43.086,00:58:48.925
put yourself out there and yet
remain a little bit anonymous um
and it's easier to remember

00:58:48.925,00:58:53.897
people because it's unique
hopefully it's unique we're
going to try and give you

00:58:53.897,00:59:03.573
something that's unique did we
give you one last year? Are you
Chaser? You got one okay you you

00:59:03.573,00:59:08.945
just have those faces anyway um
so what we're gonna do is we're
going to ask people to volunteer

00:59:08.945,00:59:17.387
no more than 25 please um you
guys can you guys help >>No no
but then at the same time you

00:59:17.387,00:59:21.458
stick around for the party if
they come to the party they can
walk up to us you know >>Yeah

00:59:21.458,00:59:24.127
yeah and we can do this
afterwards to but what we're
gonna what we're gonna do is

00:59:24.127,00:59:34.905
we're going to ask you to
introduce yourselves >>You guys!
You guys! >>Yeah you done? No

00:59:34.905,00:59:46.683
please yeah pick people please
>>will >>Yeah yeah please let's
get them lined up the faster

00:59:46.683,00:59:51.922
that we get this >>Yeah go like
this yes >>Go over to the mic!
Go over to the mic, go into the

00:59:51.922,01:00:21.151
light children, go over the mic
please, yes, go, oh what no that
mic that mic yes please

01:00:21.151,01:00:29.826
[incoherent audience babble]
alright wow that's way more than
twenty five [laughter] >>this is

01:00:29.826,01:00:37.167
your own fault! >>Tin foil hat
guy alright you guys we we may
find ourselves in a lightning

01:00:37.167,01:00:40.403
round but we're what we're going
to start with the first few
we're going to ask you to

01:00:40.403,01:00:44.975
introduce yourself, I wanna know
where you're from, I wanna know
what you do, I wanna know some

01:00:44.975,01:00:52.616
embarrassing things about you
because you're putting yourself
out there and I'm going to tell

01:00:52.616,01:01:01.224
you a little Romer and I have a
friend Danny his handle is Wad
and Danny got his handle because

01:01:01.224,01:01:08.899
the first time that he was in
charge of putting in a password
for a process a a demo that we

01:01:08.899,01:01:17.574
were doing he typed it wrong
passwod well so we were calling
him passwod [laughter] Shortly

01:01:17.574,01:01:24.915
after that we went into a club
where you make it rain and there
were lots of black lights and

01:01:24.915,01:01:30.720
Danny was wearing this shirt
that when he walked into the
club it looked like a CSI crime

01:01:30.720,01:01:41.932
scene [laughter] we asked him
why he decided to wear his wad
shirt and so his name stuck now

01:01:41.932,01:01:49.272
I'm not asking you, get it get
it, I'm not asking you or any of
you to give us that level of

01:01:49.272,01:01:54.244
information but please give us
something to work with because
when you're earning a nickname

01:01:54.244,01:01:59.282
you want it to be fun you want
it to be something that that
you're going to go ahead and say

01:01:59.282,01:02:07.424
when I go home and I log into
RIC slash nick chaser okay?
Alright we're going to start

01:02:07.424,01:02:14.564
ladies first >>uh hi I'm
Genevieve I'm an educator from
San Jose approximately and I

01:02:14.564,01:02:20.570
have a twenty year old hotmail
email address that I still use I
still pass it out give it to

01:02:20.570,01:02:25.642
people sometimes if you want
something I get made fun of it
for a lot >>Alright there's one

01:02:25.642,01:02:33.216
>>YOu want more embarrassing
things? Um >>Puttin you on the
spot >>Can you give me a prompt?

01:02:33.216,01:02:41.625
>>Give you a prompt, do you have
a pet? >>I do, uh it's a mouse
[laughter] >>Thank you this is

01:02:41.625,01:02:47.197
not a survey >>I have a mouse
named dis she had a sister named
dat >>Pardon me? >>I had I have

01:02:47.197,01:02:54.738
a mouse named, my mouse is named
dis her sister is named dat, dis
and dat >>Dis and dat, very nice

01:02:54.738,01:03:01.945
>>Um... no, I am not telling you
my hotmail address yeah dis and
dat at hotmail dot com that's

01:03:01.945,01:03:26.269
that's what I live my life as um
>>Okay I think actually we have
enough to work with here

01:03:26.269,01:03:31.975
[laughter] Alright ready? We're
playing a game name that noob so
when we go to name them I'm

01:03:31.975,01:03:41.384
going to need you guys to
participate ready? Name that
noob! Double D

01:03:41.384,01:03:56.132
[applause][laughter] Please come
up to the stage wow >>That's
funny >>Alright >>Thank you

01:03:56.132,01:04:02.405
>>Thank you very much for
participating, alright sir >>My
name is Dewey Oxburger, my

01:04:02.405,01:04:08.878
friends call me Ox, okay I'm
Will, I'm from the great country
of Texas [inaudible audience

01:04:08.878,01:04:29.766
comment] [applause] however
that's spelt AUX
[laughter][applause] >>We didn't

01:04:29.766,01:04:34.938
even get to say name that noob
you sir >>My names Jim I'm from
Golf Bridge Florida I work for a

01:04:34.938,01:04:39.109
spam and virus filtering company
there and I'm senior system
administrator been in IT for

01:04:39.109,01:04:46.149
twenty years fourth defcon,
don't have a name >>introduce
yourself last >>Yeah come on

01:04:46.149,01:05:11.207
little bit better >>So what do
you want to know? My uh >>Let's
talk about >>embarrassing thing

01:05:11.207,01:05:14.444
I drove to school and took the
bus home one day [laughter]
>>Alright, name that noob,

01:05:14.444,01:05:28.124
Shortbus [applause] >>Had you
named me shortbus before then?
>>No no no we got close but we

01:05:28.124,01:05:39.102
weren't that mean [laughter]
>>alright, you sir! >>alright hi
everybody uh my name is Ben I'm

01:05:39.102,01:05:45.041
from Denver Colorado um by day I
pretend to be a information
security engineer and by night I

01:05:45.041,01:05:52.882
pretend to be a hacker um >>Come
on this is not a dating game,
come on let's go [laughter]

01:05:52.882,01:05:55.852
>>Yeah I mean I I suppose I'm a
long time defcon I guess what
you call a lurker I know a lot

01:05:55.852,01:06:00.089
about defcon from what I see and
read and watch online but this
is my first time actually

01:06:00.089,01:06:06.262
getting out here I'm happy to be
here um and can actually say now
that I've been so >>Awesome

01:06:06.262,01:06:13.736
>>What's the worst thing about?
>>Yeah tell me what's something
bad about you? Besides voyeurism

01:06:13.736,01:06:18.608
>>Something bad about me uh I
don't know give me a further
prompt I can't think of

01:06:18.608,01:06:23.713
>>Further prompt okay what would
uh your friends have a really
good time laughing about if they

01:06:23.713,01:06:31.688
were if they were here and
telling a story about you? >>Hmm
>>Maybe that's my problem is uh

01:06:31.688,01:06:38.728
yeah maybe I'm not exciting
enough >>Alright, bring it in,
bring it in [applause] >>Alright

01:06:38.728,01:06:53.710
>>Yep I think it's good >>Uh oh
>>Name that noob! Thriller
[laughter] >>All in grace

01:06:53.710,01:07:05.688
[applause] >>oh that's right,
yes come on up wow we should
have called you direction thanks

01:07:05.688,01:07:12.028
alright you sir >>Hi I'm a
software engineer from Montreal,
my name is Charles [Applause]

01:07:12.028,01:07:17.500
>>Woo! Yeah Montreal >>The guy
that was here before me has been
in IT longer than I've been

01:07:17.500,01:07:24.941
alive so um >>This guy is
sixteen years old and self
taught since twelve >>I didn't

01:07:24.941,01:07:36.219
say it um I don't know much what
else do you wanna know? >>que
que beque? >>Yes >>Do you like

01:07:36.219,01:07:58.641
gladiator movies? >>No >>Not
token [laughter] Alright um give
us something that you do besides

01:07:58.641,01:08:00.109
um playing with computers stop
it [laughter] >>Gymnastics
>>What? >>Gymnastics [laughter

01:08:00.109,01:08:29.038
>>He likes gladiator movies!
>>You want a demo? [panel
conferring inaudibly] >>ooh it's

01:08:29.038,01:08:40.616
a hard one! Ah sorry I gave it
away alright name that noob! Eh
come on up here that's EH for

01:08:40.616,01:08:51.828
those of you who haven't been to
Canada eh [applause] alright
over here >>Uh hi uh my name is

01:08:51.828,01:08:58.735
Sam I'm from uh Mountain View
California um let's see
something random about me uh I

01:08:58.735,01:09:03.506
can trace entire interest in
technology back to one book it's
Mark Louden Cigs Little Black

01:09:03.506,01:09:09.579
Book of Computer Viruses I
screwed up my family's computer
infinitely and got in way too

01:09:09.579,01:09:13.850
much trouble about it >>How come
we ask people about their
computer experience in all of

01:09:13.850,01:09:20.923
this? Tell us a little bit more
about the embarrassing things
about yourself >>Ah embarrassing

01:09:20.923,01:09:28.097
okay so uh I learned a lot from
that book I failed my intro to C
programming class later in life

01:09:28.097,01:09:35.705
in college twice but I got it on
the third time >>Third time's a
charm [panel conferring]

01:09:35.705,01:09:52.088
[laughter] >>alright name that
noob! Rerun >>alright thank you!
>>come to the stage [applause]

01:09:52.088,01:09:55.725
>>Alright you >>Hey everyone,
>>Toasty, >>Yeah first thing
first thing you need to know

01:09:55.725,01:10:00.630
you'll need to lower that mic
okay what whatever my name is
Sam I heard there's some people

01:10:00.630,01:10:09.605
from Montreal in the cro- in the
audience what's up Montreal I'm
a I'm Sam I'm a uh I'm finishing

01:10:09.605,01:10:15.078
my last year in uh computer
science at Concordia University
Montreal I'm currently working

01:10:15.078,01:10:20.817
with uh non profit to to uh
accompany entrepreneurs into
starting a business for for um

01:10:20.817,01:10:26.255
for the city of Montreal that's
where I work and uh an
embarrassing thing about me I I

01:10:26.255,01:10:35.798
uh I'd have to think unna boot
is that right? No an interesting
thing about me is I used to play

01:10:35.798,01:10:40.136
high school football and I was
very eager to get on the special
teams you Americans are big fans

01:10:40.136,01:10:47.009
of a football I um I was the one
on the on the kick off turn and
I was on the bench asking

01:10:47.009,01:10:52.648
everyone who the fuck is not on
the kick off return right now?
And I was I was the lunatic one

01:10:52.648,01:11:03.025
yeah but basically I don't know
if that's embarrassing or not no
>>okay we got it we got this one

01:11:03.025,01:11:15.571
this one was actually pretty
easy. Name that noob! Eager
Beaver [applause] you sir >>So

01:11:15.571,01:11:22.411
my name's Nick I'm from Idaho um
Defcon and Defcon related stuff
really doesn't have anything to

01:11:22.411,01:11:31.721
do >>Did we talk to you last
night in line? >>Uh no, no >>So
you you have a doppleganger

01:11:31.721,01:11:36.826
walking around con >>Really?
>>Yeah >>Yeah uh defcon stuff
really doesn't have anything to

01:11:36.826,01:11:43.833
do with my job I'm a mechanical
engineer by trade >>Okay Nikita
has a question >>Don't worry I'm

01:11:43.833,01:11:50.873
just as nervous as you are
>>Alright what's the most recent
photo on your phone >>It's going

01:11:50.873,01:12:00.049
to be of the back of a badge
other than that it uh yeah I
said badge with a b >>Oh god! I

01:12:00.049,01:12:11.761
thought he said something other
than badge >>alright the most
recent embarrassing photo then

01:12:11.761,01:12:16.732
[laughter] >>Does it have to be
of me? Because I have a video of
two coworkers uh dancing on a

01:12:16.732,01:12:32.882
strip pole [laughter] >>alright
name that noob Spuds [applause}
next >>Alright guys, first and

01:12:32.882,01:12:38.754
foremost thank you for welcoming
us noobs uh my name is David uh
I'm a help desk technician I am

01:12:38.754,01:12:44.727
pursuing my bachelors in
information security and I love
doing it but I have no rhythm I

01:12:44.727,01:12:49.465
can not dance for the life of me
as much as I love dancing I suck
at it so that's probably the

01:12:49.465,01:13:06.883
most embarrassing thing >>Oh hmm
>>You want me to dance?
[laughter] >>Yeah [applause]

01:13:06.883,01:13:15.524
alright [inaudible chatter] stop
stop stop name that noob
initially it was going to be

01:13:15.524,01:13:24.166
Walmart greeter but that's way
too long so we're going to call
you Guest >>thank you! >>Alright

01:13:24.166,01:13:32.174
starwars >>Hello, I'm Karch
that's with a K for whoever is
typing that I think um and uh I

01:13:32.174,01:13:37.680
am six eight so this is a little
short but embarrassing facts oh
I've been an app security

01:13:37.680,01:13:41.851
professional for the last four
years read team doing
penetration testing embarrassing

01:13:41.851,01:13:45.721
facts I knew nothing about
hardware hacking so I think I'm
going to give up on this until I

01:13:45.721,01:13:52.395
get back some other place and uh
when I was six I jumped off the
top of a slide to prove to a

01:13:52.395,01:14:00.136
girl that guys are braver than
women [laughter] >>Just so you
know, the contest is less than

01:14:00.136,01:14:06.776
five percent hardware hacking
>>well I know somebody has
plugged this into a computer so

01:14:06.776,01:14:11.414
that they can get into the chip
I don't even know how to do that
so >>But you can read right?

01:14:11.414,01:14:28.564
>>Yes, I've been thinking it's a
version air but I'm not sure yet
>>alright name that noob Reading

01:14:28.564,01:14:39.375
Rainbow [applause] you sir >>Uh
my name is Rich I'm from New
York um I do digital forensics

01:14:39.375,01:14:44.847
and uh instant response um three
things thats kind of
embarrassing about me so in the

01:14:44.847,01:14:48.351
second grade I got my head stuck
in a chair because I thought I
could fit through like the other

01:14:48.351,01:14:53.856
side, I can't whistle, and my
last name is Cyrus and a lot of
people relate me to Miley Cyrus

01:14:53.856,01:15:11.574
somehow uh clearly no so
[inaudible chatter] yeah >>Okay
alright name that noob Wrecking

01:15:11.574,01:15:23.519
Ball [applause] alright, you sir
>>Hi my name's Ryan Correal I am
from Denver Colorado I am a

01:15:23.519,01:15:31.761
security analyst and uh
embarrassing things my entire
group of friends in college came

01:15:31.761,01:15:38.200
up with a new slang word for
vomiting because of a bad night
with uh some mixed blended irish

01:15:38.200,01:15:43.472
whiskey by the name of Clan
MAcGregor and the nickname for
vomiting is moose because

01:15:43.472,01:16:04.059
apparently it sounds like a
moose call >>MOOOOUAHHHh!
Alright name that noob Wretch

01:16:04.059,01:16:15.371
>>Oh >>Please sir >>Alrighty I'm
Vaughn I'm just here so I don't
get fined that's all but aside

01:16:15.371,01:16:20.409
from that I'm from uh Maryland I
am a technical trainer for a
bunch of brats on capitol hill

01:16:20.409,01:16:26.081
no joking I like my job and uh
three embarrassing facts I guess
I've been told I have a face

01:16:26.081,01:16:32.254
only for radio, um favorite move
was Gremlins, my younger sister
taught me to tie my shoes when I

01:16:32.254,01:16:39.562
was five and she was three, I
didn't start drinking until I
was thirty one so that's about

01:16:39.562,01:16:58.147
it >>Late bloomer >>Alright
[inaudible chatter from panel]
>>you have a permit to bring

01:16:58.147,01:17:16.832
those in here? [laughter]
>>Alright, name that noob
Gunshow [applause] >>Hi my name

01:17:16.832,01:17:25.374
is Lee DeSilva I'm from Brazil I
live in Toronto um I work uh as
an instant responder uh fun fact

01:17:25.374,01:17:33.349
is um before coming to Defcon
before becoming a mom I can
remember where I put my stuff um

01:17:33.349,01:17:38.921
it's everywhere everything I
lose so be before coming to
Defcon I for I forgot where I

01:17:38.921,01:17:45.928
put my glasses so it's a
challenge for me to to come to
the talks and see the screen so

01:17:45.928,01:17:51.467
I'm always trying to look for uh
places in the ba- in the front
and I know a lot of people here

01:17:51.467,01:18:06.081
um but I can't identify people
from this um yeah [laughter]
>>Alright [inaudible audience

01:18:06.081,01:18:23.098
comment] yes so name that noob!
Peeper [applause] alright next
>>Hello I'm Helen and uh if you

01:18:23.098,01:18:28.938
can't tell I'm from England
>>Yay! >>Yay! Um I've been sent
here by my university I'm a PHD

01:18:28.938,01:18:35.911
researcher looking at online
communities and I'm going to
watch you all um my uh

01:18:35.911,01:18:41.250
embarrassing facts the best
thing is I had a ten year
illness and it needs me to go

01:18:41.250,01:18:46.322
and get um jabs every now and
then everytime I tell the nurse
what was wrong she laughs for a

01:18:46.322,01:18:53.662
good five minutes uh I had a
wandering spleen uh thank you
yep um and the other thing is I

01:18:53.662,01:18:57.466
fall asleep a lot so in my
office I have the desk at the
back right at the corner and

01:18:57.466,01:19:01.270
every so now and then people
will come looking for me they'll
find me curled up under the desk

01:19:01.270,01:19:20.689
and I'm not sorry >>Oh so many
things [laughter] okay name that
noob! Pens >>Pittens? >>Really?

01:19:20.689,01:19:32.968
Come on >>BOO! >>YOu said Jabs?
Jabs? Jabs Pin cushion what?
Alright we're going to work a

01:19:32.968,01:19:37.773
little bit more on that one
because you offered us a lot of
material >>Just uh send us

01:19:37.773,01:19:46.649
something from your hotmail
>>Alright sir >>Hi my name is
Dave I currently come from the

01:19:46.649,01:19:53.222
greatest city on the planet
which is Seattle Washington yeah
baby I'm a security engineer

01:19:53.222,01:20:01.263
with Nast um I have no social
skills so nothing embarrasses me
but I can pretty much guarantee

01:20:01.263,01:20:06.001
that there's nobody in this room
that's from where I grew up
which is the great province of

01:20:06.001,01:20:21.850
Newfoundland I win! >>Alright
yeah we're going to need a
little bit more information just

01:20:21.850,01:20:25.988
because you're not embarrassed
doesn't mean we won't be
embarrassed for you, try it try

01:20:25.988,01:20:38.600
it! What's that? Try it try it
[inaudible comment] >>Um if I
had an accent you wouldn't

01:20:38.600,01:20:50.212
understand me >>That's true
[panel conferring] >>It's like
the only place nobody has ever

01:20:50.212,01:21:02.791
been to [panel conferring]
>>Okay there we go alright we're
going to do it, name that noob!

01:21:02.791,01:21:14.837
Screech Yeah! [applause] alright
we're going to do five more, two
from that line, three from that

01:21:14.837,01:21:19.508
line, afterwards you guys can
come up and we'll we'll work
with you but you know there we

01:21:19.508,01:21:26.448
gotta set up for the party so
we're gonna kinda wrap it up
okay let's go mullet >>Hi guys,

01:21:26.448,01:21:34.523
my name is Gary I'm from Sydney
Australia now in Virginia I am
an operations engineer for an

01:21:34.523,01:21:40.362
internet security company and uh
the first product launch after I
started working there was

01:21:40.362,01:21:45.901
version six point one four and I
made fun of the entire staff on
an all hands on call because no

01:21:45.901,01:22:02.117
one realized that six point one
four was pi. >>really? I know,
name that noob! Real Genius come

01:22:02.117,01:22:11.760
on now [applause] Rainbow
connection go ahead >>Uh hi I'm
Jason I design power electronics

01:22:11.760,01:22:17.099
I wanted to shout out to
Wrecking Ball because I too got
my uh head stuck in a chair um

01:22:17.099,01:22:25.174
in second grade as well so it's
kinda weird um also when I'm uh
really drunk I like to do Arnold

01:22:25.174,01:22:39.421
Schwarzenegger accents voices
but you have to buy me a drink
first so can't [inaudible panel

01:22:39.421,01:22:48.897
chatter] >>alright um yeah
apparently we had it right the
first time so we're going to

01:22:48.897,01:22:58.574
name that noob! Rainbow
Connection [applause] alright
over here >>Hello my name is

01:22:58.574,01:23:03.879
Arianna Southwick uh but I'm
currently getting it changed to
Dahlia my mother is known to

01:23:03.879,01:23:09.885
most as Banshee um I like to go
where the wind takes me when I'm
really drunk I tried to speak

01:23:09.885,01:23:18.460
four different languages that I
know decently and usually get
all of them mixed up together uh

01:23:18.460,01:23:26.902
and I was working staff at
B-Sides this >>Hold on what are
the languages? >>Japanese,

01:23:26.902,01:23:37.913
Korean, Spanish, and Ukrainian
>>[Speaking korean]
>>[Responding in korean] >>Okay

01:23:37.913,01:23:47.823
please continue >>Okay uh um I'm
sorry uh I was working staff at
B-Sides this week and I decided

01:23:47.823,01:23:55.030
to install a phone software
update and brooked it [laugh]
because nobody warned me >>Take

01:23:55.030,01:24:16.885
your name back okay do we have
anything? Bring it in yeah okay
name that noob! Rosetta Phone

01:24:16.885,01:24:28.830
[laughter] [applause] alright
next >>Hey um >>you can come up
on stage let people see you >>My

01:24:28.830,01:24:32.634
name's Matt I'm an electrical
engineer and I crossed over to
the dark side and now I'm

01:24:32.634,01:24:40.075
project manager for an internet
company that streams cat videos
um now uh the cringiest thing

01:24:40.075,01:24:46.882
I've ever done was put my World
of Warcraft guild on a resume
and I actually got the job um

01:24:46.882,01:25:12.441
and I still cringe to it to this
moment [panel conferring
inaudibly] >>Yeah alright, name

01:25:12.441,01:25:24.753
that noob! Bold Move [laughter]
[applause] just come on up
princess. Princess just come on

01:25:24.753,01:25:40.135
up alright yes please >>Hi my
name is Yurdan I'm from Israel
uh I'm a computer programmer and

01:25:40.135,01:25:47.976
I think the most embarrassing
thing I have is I'm such a klutz
I've been here for like three

01:25:47.976,01:25:55.751
weeks a month and I'm all
bruised I've been to the ER once
and uh and I have scrapes and

01:25:55.751,01:26:07.229
bruises all over me >>oooh yeah
audience participation that is
actually really good name that

01:26:07.229,01:26:19.875
noob! Patient Zero [applause]
last one right? Okay you two
guys are the last ones um so

01:26:19.875,01:26:29.484
>>Wow >>You're what? >>I said I
am proxy for princess >>Oh
[laugh] >>So my name's Keith I'm

01:26:29.484,01:26:37.692
a student from Boston Mass
anyone anyone no one um and last
night something embarrassing

01:26:37.692,01:26:46.234
happened to me I tagged along
for a vendor party over at the
MGM Grand anyone there? Uh might

01:26:46.234,01:26:52.874
have had too much to drink think
that's enough about that story
something else is I work at

01:26:52.874,01:27:07.389
Walmart >>Wait what did he say?
No no come on give it to us
>>Well I don't know I didn't

01:27:07.389,01:27:13.495
really embarrass myself but it
could've ended badly you know, I
don't >>So the story wasn't

01:27:13.495,01:27:20.469
about you you were just >>No no
it was about me I was there
>>You were just a tag along >>I

01:27:20.469,01:27:32.681
was the one that got wasted
>>Ready, name that noob! Tag
Along >>Okay so uh I'm Isaac I'm

01:27:32.681,01:27:38.587
from Portland and I'm actually a
high school student but uh a
hacker in training and um yeah

01:27:38.587,01:27:44.292
I'm actually uh only chick
student who is up on the stage
right now and um so my

01:27:44.292,01:27:52.167
embarrassing story would be like
the first time that I ever used
a computer um it ended up being

01:27:52.167,01:28:23.832
fried and uh had tons of
rickrolls all over it so yeah
>>alright [panel conferring]

01:28:23.832,01:28:31.072
yeah but we we we're going to
pick on you and you are, name
that noob! Teacher's Pet come on

01:28:31.072,01:28:40.081
up [applause] alright I
appreciate >>Alright one more
and there's one for good reason

01:28:40.081,01:28:49.791
everybody stand up! >>Kanye
[laughter] >>I'm not trying to
get this >>Ima give you the mic

01:28:49.791,01:28:56.998
in a minute >>Everybody stand
up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand
up! We been standin' we've been

01:28:56.998,01:29:04.906
sitting here for how long now?
Stand up! On your feet! I know
I'm louder than the mic now

01:29:04.906,01:29:13.048
everybody ahhh boom! That's all
you gotta do just follow after
me, get your air, get all

01:29:13.048,01:29:26.194
excited, >>Dude, Kanye, >>Nah
okay >>Just Kanye come on up
we'll get you >>Kanye! Woo!

01:29:26.194,01:29:35.637
>>Taking my microphone alright
yeah I'm going to let you finish
so >>Ahhh boom! [laughter]

01:29:35.637,01:29:41.710
>>like I said we'll do we'll do
some more afterwards I really
appreciate everybody you know

01:29:41.710,01:29:47.382
participating it truly is the
most fun part about this talk um
and it's one of the things that

01:29:47.382,01:29:51.186
we really enjoyed because this
is a way to get get to know each
other it's a way that you guys

01:29:51.186,01:29:55.590
can start to reach out you know
again I'm telling you put
yourselves out there it's really

01:29:55.590,01:30:00.695
important for you to be able to
do what these people just did
that's very brave and I'm very

01:30:00.695,01:30:05.166
proud of every single person
that did that because that's
some scary stuff with the

01:30:05.166,01:30:14.676
exception of you um you know so
and the last thing I'm going to
do I'm going to do some thank

01:30:14.676,01:30:21.516
yous the first Dark Tangent Jeff
Moss he is the guy who started
Defcon and he is the reason that

01:30:21.516,01:30:28.590
the you know everybody is here
uh truly and Romer because he's
the guy that got me into Defcon

01:30:28.590,01:30:34.195
and I'm really happy that you
know I was able to do that this
is it was something that you

01:30:34.195,01:30:42.437
know well I'll get all weepy um
HighWiz again you know he
started 101 and his friendship

01:30:42.437,01:30:51.446
has meant a lot to me uh a whole
list of people Crypt Nikita Lost
Jay uh Onch um only chick I

01:30:51.446,01:30:57.252
apologize I didn't even know you
were going to be here um Runner
Up who is HighWiz's better half

01:30:57.252,01:31:08.997
um >>Shhhh!!! [laughter] >>Oh
I'm sorry >>Totally single man
[laughter] >> Russ um Russer and

01:31:08.997,01:31:15.070
Painted Arrow, PushPin who is uh
one of the guys who's a vendor
goon and is actually a lot of

01:31:15.070,01:31:20.809
fun uh Clutch, Alex Rogen and
Jenn are not here and Medic um
Alex Rogen Jenn and Medic were

01:31:20.809,01:31:26.114
the first ones that I truly hung
out with and Jenn was absolutely
hysterical if you get her drunk

01:31:26.114,01:31:32.187
she'll make snow angels in the
grass you know everybody else
that's ever been a vendor goon

01:31:32.187,01:31:37.992
it's really um important to you
know recognize the goons all do
everything uh and they do it for

01:31:37.992,01:31:43.865
the con you know um and it's so
they don't often get recognized
but the the goons are are an

01:31:43.865,01:31:48.770
important part of this and
anybody that I've forgotten to
thank if you're out there you

01:31:48.770,01:31:54.409
know like if you got a really
long beard and you start with
evil rob you might not be on the

01:31:54.409,01:32:02.117
list stealth so I appreciate it
um if you guys have any
questions if you just want to

01:32:02.117,01:32:07.188
chat come on up and then like I
said stick around they're going
to be wheeling in the bars if

01:32:07.188,01:32:13.194
they're not already out in the
lobby yeah anybody that's
watching on tv first of all

01:32:13.194,01:32:18.066
shame on you for not being here
but second of all come on down
and participate you know get be

01:32:18.066,00:00:00.000
part of it alright thank you
guys [applause]