Okay, we've got beer, we've got balls, we've got our team, we've got Kitty, she was our
van of vinyl back in the good old days.
I'm not going to mention what year, but suffice it to say, since the year we met, that time
could be drinking already.
So what we're going to do now is we've got our cast, I'd like to introduce you to our
crew, and we'll get going with Hacker Jeopardy.
As you know, the rules of the game are this, it's play like regular Jeopardy, except with
teams of three.
In addition, we offer a very special incentive, for every beer that you consume, completely,
you get 100 points.
It's got to be finished.
The end of the game, we count up your points and your beer, and that's what you have going
into final Jeopardy.
If you get a double Jeopardy question right...
You get to interact, in some manner of speaking, with our beautiful ladies up here on the
counter.
If you get it wrong, bad things happen.
We've made special provision for room temperature non-alcoholic beer.
That's the null beer.
That gets into the queue, and it's a denial of service attack on your beer points.
If you blow your beer out, all your points go back to zero.
That's the Humperdinck rule.
After Christmas...
Chris blew out everything in, what is it, 1998 or 99?
Whatever it was, it's a rule on the deck.
No sequel injection on the final.
One of the teams won four or five years ago, because they sequel injected their team name,
because nobody had the right answer.
That's been patched.
What else we got?
We cover it all?
Yeah, we'll make it up as we go along.
I'm Judge Jerry Executioner.
When I say he goes, you don't like it?
Fuck you.
Let's go.
And so now, without further ado,
I'd like to introduce you to the beautiful ladies who helped make this show work.
First, we have, all the way from Florida, Sophie.
Best part of my job.
Sophie is here to administer pleasure and punishment.
In addition, we have...
Who wants to go first?
We have the beautiful and lovely Mink.
Shall I introduce you as that?
Is Mink refers, is that a verb or a noun?
Because I know what they say about Minks.
But anyway, I was in Denver a couple of weeks ago, caught up with a 303 meeting,
and I met this lovely lady.
So come on up and meet Lana Vinyl for 2016.
Hey, where's my kiss?
And also, we have Beer Betty this year.
Now, of course, you've got Wynn Schwartau, the old Wynn.
Really old.
The guy had to come in on a rascal for crying out loud.
Where's your colostomy bag, dude?
Anyway, this year, we've replaced this old Wynn.
And with new Wynn.
And Wynn will be making sure that everybody is well-beared and taken care of.
And, of course, the audience favorite, the man you're all longing to get in bed with,
the ref.
And the best part of this,
the person who's going to make it.
It's going to all happen on the back.
Edward!
Come on, Ed!
Okay, Dave, I need the team names.
We're going to go ahead and we're going to get rolling.
So what we're going to do here, let's go ahead and we're going to call up three teams.
We've gone through a number of qualifiers.
If you want to play and you didn't sign up tomorrow, it's going to be 11 to 12.
We gave up the 10 o'clock slot to the feds.
Don't ask me why, but Grifter pulled rank on me.
And then again, from 2 to 4.
So, if you want to play, come on there.
Send an email to hackerjeopardy at gmail.com.
The autoresponder will take care of it for you.
So, without further ado, let's see who's going to play tonight at game one.
It's Perineal Rafe?
What the hell kind of name is that?
Oh, God, you're not serious.
I want to see Jabba the Hutt get up these stairs.
Dude, you look like one of the women from my high school reunion.
I just went bad.
Okay.
Don't forget to give him a reach around.
Welcome.
I can't hear you.
No, I don't want to break my back.
Per, Per.
Welcome.
Bear hug, right?
Okay.
Okay.
So, let's go ahead and get him in seat number one, the green.
Number two, team number two.
I think this name is before, but you know what they actually did?
We should be at the trial, so they're going to get another run.
Nice hat gray.
You still around?
Yes, they are.
Nice hat gray.
One of the Perineals.
Been able to do something.
Come on down.
Welcome.
And you're going to take spot number two.
And team number three.
There's an effort here for rebranding, apparently.
So, if the classic version isn't any good, the hard fork version must be better, right?
So, it turns out that taking a WikiLeak has hard forced into Pucifer 3.0, but they did really well.
So, you guys are coming up here for game one.
Are you guys around?
Pucifer 3.0.
All right.
Grab seat number three.
What, are we missing people?
Let's go.
Come on.
Move it, move it, move it.
What are you, old men?
Put your bag.
Put your bag in, and get going.
Yeah.
Now, we've got to proof everybody.
What, are you checking for AARP cards, for crying out loud?
Maybe we get a discount on the beer.
Okay.
So, the rules of the game.
We're going to go ahead, and then, ladies, you want to go ahead and get the beers ready to roll.
And go ahead, and we'll pop beers.
Do not begin drinking the beers until the game starts, okay?
But we're going to get you a beer, so we can get rolling.
We're going to have six categories.
We're going to have five questions, one to 500 points.
You have monitors here.
The audience is out here.
If they don't get it right, out of Daily Double, it goes out to the audience.
We ready to roll?
Holy, yeah.
We got to lower that beer cart about another two feet.
Okay.
Ready on the left?
Ready on the right?
Ready on the firing line?
Ready on the firing line?
Five, four, three, two, one.
Game on.
Get those beers out there.
Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer.
All right.
Let's take a look at the board.
We have microscopic font.
A horrible software glitch, but we're going to tell you what it is anyway.
God, I can't even read them.
What's category one, Dave?
Yeah, this is not.
Okay.
Category one is tunes.
Category two, Tesla.
Category two, Tesla.
Category three, acronyms.
Category four, eight bits or less, depending on your age.
Category five, hacker jeopardy history.
And category six, VAG, V-A-G.
All the answers will contain a V-A-G.
Okay?
Don't ask me about that one.
It's equal opportunity.
And come on, if we get more women playing this game, we'll make it work both ways.
Okay, so team one, perennial rave.
I didn't just call you rave for short.
You on the board.
Pick a category, pick a number.
What do you want?
They can't talk through the costumes, apparently.
We will take Vag for 100.
Vag for 100.
The answer is a person without a settled home or regular work who wanders from place to place and lives by begging.
Seven letters, and hackers is not what we're looking for.
This is off to a very slow start.
Okay, nice hack rate.
What is a vagrant?
What is a vagrant is correct.
You got it, and you own the board.
Well done.
Come on, let's go.
What do you want?
Let's get excited.
Can't hear you.
Vag for two.
Vag for two.
He knows what he likes.
Let's go in a little bit deeper.
For two.
Two hundred points.
Just the tip.
To lay waste by force, to desolate by violence.
Six letters.
Ooh, reach for that thesaurus.
You've never called it that before.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Come on.
Six letters.
We gave, we're giving you three of the six letters.
Going once.
Going twice.
Out to the audience.
Four.
Three.
Two.
Yeah, what is Ravage?
Awesome, you got it.
Sorry, don't have any swag today.
Come back tomorrow, we'll get you cool stuff.
All right, you still own the board, even though you don't deserve it.
What do you think?
Let's do Vag for three.
Vag for three.
He's trying to hit bottom here.
A composition as in music or in drama, designed to produce effects by its wild irregularity.
Hey, Wynn, that sounds like you.
.
It contains a badge.
I don't know.
We'll have to inspect.
All wins contain badges for a long time.
Come on, guys.
No English majors here.
Going once.
Going twice.
Out to the audience.
Not in the form of a question.
What is a extravaganza?
They got it.
By the way, these folks are here with DEFCON, D-E-A-F-C-O-N.
Welcome to Hacker Jeopardy.
And thank you to our two translators who are making everything happen for them.
Okay.
Wow, it turns out that our contestants don't know anything about badge, apparently.
Well, that's not much of a surprise.
All right.
What else do you want?
We'll do Tesla for 100.
You'll do?
Tesla for win for 100.
Tesla for win for 100.
The answer is, although Edison advocated DC for power transmission, Tesla pushed for AC, short for this.
Nice hat, Gray.
What is alternating current?
What is alternating current is correct for 100 points.
You doubled down.
Okay, great.
Oh, yeah.
You got to put that beer upside down on your head and let us know that you're done with it.
Tesla for two.
A little bit louder.
I can barely hear you.
You got to talk in the microphone.
Tesla for 200, please.
Tesla for 200.
The answer is the Tesla.
T is the SI unit for measuring this.
Lucifer.
What is electrical field?
What is electrical field is technically not correct.
No.
Going once.
Uh-oh.
Punishment time.
I think they wanted this because they know that the ref doesn't come into round two.
Going twice.
They don't know what Tesla is for.
Out to win.
What's the test of the measure of?
Magnetic field strength.
Yes, there's electromagnetism.
Yes, there's electromagnetism.
But it doesn't describe your personality.
Damn thing has fallen down.
Let's go.
You own the board.
What do you want?
What the fuck is a magnetic field?
Okay, I'm sorry.
We got to get it right.
Okay, back over here.
You own the board.
I can take it away from you.
You don't make a decision.
Tesla for three.
Tesla for three.
Let's go deeper into something you know nothing and more about.
Although William Rankin was credited for his discovery in 1895,
he was credited for his experiments in 1894 with his Pucifer.
What are x-rays?
What are x-rays?
And you were probably his first patient.
All right, awesome.
You own the board and you're back in the game.
That was a 300 points, so you're in the black.
What do you like?
Acronyms for 100, please.
Acronyms for 100.
The answer is CFAA, also known as 18 U.S. Code Section 1030.
Pucifer.
Pucifer.
What is the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act?
What is the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act?
Desperately in need of revision.
Fuck that law.
All right, gentlemen, you own the board.
What do you want?
Fuck that law.
Tunes for 100.
Tunes for 100.
The answer is our first Daily Double.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
All right, well, you got 200, but this being a government-funded program,
you can bet up to $500.
We'll bet 200.
They're going to bet 200 on a 100.
Oh, jeez.
Woosh.
Okay, 200 it is.
Let's see what the answer is.
The name of this author and cartoon.
What is Dilbert by Scott Adams?
Oh, not in the form of a question.
What is Dilbert by Scott Adams?
I think what is Dilbert by Scott Adams?
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
It was.
He went in his mouth with a mic.
She heard him.
Okay, what is Dilbert by Scott Adams?
It's actually Scott Albums and Dilbert, because I was looking for that order, but because
he's dyslexic, we'll let him have the points.
So, let's see what you get.
Take your choice.
Come on.
You got points.
No, but do we get a...
Could you get a what?
Do you want the wrap?
No, but do we get a...
Do we get a wrap already?
Oh, yeah.
Do they get to take a piece of clothes off?
Yeah, I'll get something.
I'll take that.
How about that dress?
Yeah.
Oh, gee whiz.
For 100 points?
No, I want more for that dress.
How about the lady who's been finaling you all day?
Lady's choice.
Lady's choice.
Go ahead.
Take what you like.
Don't hold up the game, though.
All right.
The bottom man.
Let's hear it.
All right, Jeremy.
We'll protect you.
We won't let you down.
Watch your wife.
Watch the tape.
Okay.
You own the board.
Let's keep rolling.
What do you want?
Eight bits or less for 100, please.
Eight bits or less for 100.
The answer is reaching the market in 1997 for about $200 each, X2 and K56 Flex were
competing protocols for these devices.
Nice hat gray.
What are modems?
You got to talk into the microphone.
Seriously into the microphone.
What are modems?
What are modems is correct.
All right.
You own the board.
What do you want?
All right.
I know.
I like it.
Talk to me, Goose.
Eight bits or less for 200.
Eight bits or less for 200.
The answer is it was called Family Computer when released in 1983 for 14.8,000 yen.
Rafe.
You know it.
Go on.
I don't know.
You hit the button.
You know the answer.
Why did you hit the button?
Going once.
You don't know it.
Going twice.
Fail.
Big tricks.
You didn't get the power.
Move out of the way.
Move out of the way.
All right.
Nice hat gray.
What is Famicon?
What is the Vanathon?
Famicon.
I have no idea what you're calling, but it has nothing to do with what is on my answer
sheet, so I'm going to take no to that one.
Last chance.
Really?
Going.
Right.
Going.
What do you got?
What is Wang?
No.
That's what's between your legs.
You.
No.
No.
He said no.
I can't hear from this far.
No.
No.
What is NES?
What is NES?
The Nintendo Entertainment System is correct.
What?
It's called the Famicon.
All righty.
It's called the Vanathon.
Guys, these are not tough questions.
All right?
All right.
Come on.
Keep going.
Nice hat.
You own the board.
No.
Nice hat.
Pick a category.
No.
Going once.
All right.
Acronyms 200.
Acronyms for 200.
The answer is POE, relating to networking.
No.
Nice hat gray.
What is power over Ethernet?
What is power over Ethernet is correct.
Go ahead.
What do you want?
Acronyms 300.
Acronyms for 300.
The answer is shitty websites, XSS.
Nice hat gray.
What is cross-site scripting?
What is cross-site scripting is correct.
I notice the other team is pressing and holding.
It's like a millisecond response.
So as soon as you press it, it cancels out if it doesn't win.
So constant repetition is best.
That's the best way to make sure you win it.
I like to hit it hard, G-Mark.
Yes.
OK.
What do you want?
Acronyms for.
Acronyms for four.
OK.
The answer is.
All right.
Your chance for a Daily Double.
All righty then.
Well, let's see.
You got some stuff to play with.
You can play with all 600.
You got the balls?
Let's see what you got.
Get the balls.
Get the balls.
Get the balls.
Get the balls.
Get the balls.
Get the balls.
Show me your pokeballs.
What is your wager, please?
Come on.
Go on.
500.
500.
500.
OK.
500 for four.
All right.
It's three quarters of the way up.
So we'll give them some credit for that one.
The answer is.
PCI.
The bus.
Not the regulation.
And your little dog, too.
Going once.
Going.
What is peripheral connector interface?
What is peripheral connected to the internet is not correct.
Interface.
Interface.
Interface is still not correct.
Nice double time.
Guess what you got?
Guess what you get?
We have room temperature non-alcoholic beer.
Stick that in your queue and shake it.
Holy mackerel.
Look out.
All right.
Make it so.
And get out of the way.
All right.
Wow.
They're punishing.
Whoa.
They've got to drink this stuff.
Get your mouth over that thing.
It's coming out fast.
I'm good.
All right.
That's nasty.
As soon as they finish that, they can continue going for points.
All right.
It's PCI, the bus, not the regulation.
Now to the audience.
Anybody know?
Anybody know?
Guy over there in the red.
Yeah, right here.
I know the answer.
It's the one I know.
Give me a break.
Give a Pokemon a break.
It's impossible for me to hear up here.
So we're just going to go ahead and show you the answer.
I'd like to steal.
The answer is peripheral component interconnect.
Interface is wrong.
We anticipated you say interface, and we knew you'd get it wrong.
We...
It's still on the board, though.
But now you're in the red.
Shit.
I don't really know.
No, you're up.
You're in the black.
Low-scoring game.
That's typical low-scoring people.
All right.
Tesla for 400.
All right.
What can I say?
What do you think you want to do next?
Tesla for 400.
Tesla for 400.
Go back to the win-short-talk category.
Some argue that Tesla invented the radio, but this Italian got all the credit.
Pucifer.
Who's Marconi?
Who is Giuliamo Marconi?
Si.
You got it.
But not the bad.
All right.
You're on the board.
What do you want?
Tesla for 500, please.
Tesla for 500.
Closing out the category.
The answer is Tesla cured this iconic American author's constipation
by having him stand on a high-frequency oscillator.
It's in...
It's on Wikipedia.
It's got to be true.
Don't push the button.
Oh, wow.
Iconic American author.
When did Tesla live?
Pucifer.
Who's Mark Twain?
Who is Mark Twain?
The guy who put two and two together.
He got it right.
Damn it.
See?
Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
Okay.
Wow.
Oh, wow.
You got a lap dance.
One, two.
Hey, ref, we got a job for you.
You got a third.
That is going to cause nightmares.
Why?
I'm catching the ref twerking in public.
Oh, boy.
They don't pay me enough for this job.
Okay.
Back over here.
Pucci, you own the board.
Pucifer.
Tunes for 200, please.
Tunes for 200.
The name of this author in cartoon.
Remember, please give it in the order of the author in the cartoon.
Nice hat gray.
Nice hat gray.
Nice hat gray.
Nice hat gray.
Thank you.
Talk into the microphone.
Who is Randall Monroe and XKCD?
Is that Randall?
Yeah.
I think someone needs to check Wikipedia on that one.
I'm going to hold off on that.
Russell.
He's right.
Yeah, we thought so.
Yeah, my research.
I thought it was right.
Yeah, we typed it in wrong.
So, yes, you got it.
Randall Monroe.
XKCD.
Someone type Russell.
Damn spell-corrector.
Fuck it up!
It's a spell-corrector.
You fucked up!
You fucked up!
You fucked up!
You fucked up!
You fucked up!
You fucked up!
Alright.
Word prospect.
Report in.
Alright.
Thanks, dude.
Is this something I want to say over here?
I, I'm a cop!
I, I come across, when I call for things.
Say what?
That's going to give me nightmares
for crying out loud, dude.
They're just not asking questions.
I know the answers.
Get the shit out of here.
We don't get a shot at it.
Thank you.
I don't drink much.
You back in the game?
Back in the game.
Sorry, I ate a lot of berries last week.
Get that crap out of here.
All righty.
What do you want?
Acronyms for five.
Acronyms for 500.
They're going to close out the category.
The answer is another Daily Double.
I want you in one category.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Paybacks are a bitch.
What do you want?
Well, 500.
Let's get some free stuff.
500.
All right.
500 it is.
Acronyms for 500.
The answer is Whopper from that 1983 movie.
Oh, fuck.
Would you like to play a little game?
We know the movie.
Oh, bad things.
Did they even clear their queue of the dead beer yet?
Yes.
All right.
I got to give an answer from you all the time.
What do you want?
Drink five beers and you'll be okay, but go in once.
Go in twice.
Say something, damn it!
Total complete failure!
Failure!
We got it, I don't know it.
Yup, you lose.
More warm beer, more abuse.
Oh, dude, here it comes.
Fucked it up.
You fucked it up, you fucked it up.
Whips and paddles, and what else we got?
Soldering iron, oh my god, jeez.
You guys are sick.
You fucked it up, you fucked it up.
Make some noise.
Make some noise.
More Jazz
More Jazz
More Jazz
Alrighty then.
They may not want to sit down, but they've also got the warm beers coming again.
Failure is expensive in life, isn't it, gentlemen.
Alright well, out to the audience, anybody remember the Whopper?
Remember the Whopper!
Remember the Whopper!
What is the war operation response plan?
That's a dyslexic answer.
War operational programmed response.
It is not a programmed response.
No.
No.
Big guy.
Big guy.
Not in the form of a question.
Sit down.
But now the answer is out in the open.
Let's see what it is.
War operation plan response.
Go back.
Watch Matthew Broderick.
By the way, what's the password in that movie?
Joshua.
Okay.
Back to the board.
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
What do you want?
Nice hack, Ray.
You're in the hole.
And it's not a pleasant one.
Hacker Jeopardy history 100.
I can't hear him.
History for one.
Okay.
I got it.
What do you want?
Hey.
Alex.
Give me this much of gaffer tape right now.
Get it off that seat behind Mark, please.
Okay.
Got it.
No, we would have been at zero.
We'd be in second place.
Titties or like other?
I said titties or other.
Okay.
You own the board.
What do you want?
Enough delay.
History or 100?
3-0-1.
That's not it.
I can't hear you.
History.
Hacker Jeopardy history for 100.
Hacker Jeopardy for 300.
100.
100.
Yeah.
Sorry.
You got to put into the microphone.
Put your mouth around it and oscillate.
All right.
Hacker Jeopardy for 100.
The answer is a typo on the wheel of misfortune a few years ago.
It led to this rhyming phrase now associated with Hacker Jeopardy.
What is beef thief?
What is beef thief is correct.
We are the ones who got beef thief.
Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef, beef, beef, beef.
Well done, gentlemen, and you're number two.
Hacker Jeopardy history for 200, please.
Hacker Jeopardy history for 200.
The first year that Hacker Jeopardy made an appearance at DEFCON.
Hacker Jeopardy history for 200.
The second year that Hacker Jeopardy made an appearance at DEFCON.
Do a little bit of math work, gentlemen.
Schwartau knows.
He was there.
Was he, though?
He actually was young and nubile.
And buxom.
Or just a noob.
I forget.
Going once.
Going twice.
And out to the audience.
Anybody remember?
What is Def Con 3 is not a
year.
One nine nine five.
What is that 1995 is not correct.
Alright third try is a charm.
What is 1994 is correct. Def Con 2 is not a year. I kind of anticipated
that kind of screw up too. Well done. Off to the board. What do you want?
Didn't cost you anything.
History for 300 please. Hacker Jeopardy history. He was accused of
feloniously hacker jeopardy for 3. He was accused of
feloniously cheating during Def Con 11 by looking up the final answer on his Blackberry.
Come on. There's a really
big hint in there.
Come on.
Come on.
It was going once. Felonious.
Going twice. Pucifer. Who is Mitnick?
Who is Kevin Mitnick is correct. Yeah.
By the way, Kevin's team set the record for Hacker Jeopardy.
The fewest number of alcoholic beverages consumed because his partner was LDS.
Didn't drink. Three beverages. They won it all on intellect. See?
So you own the board and you're in the black yet? No, not quite.
Tunes for 300? Tunes for 300. Stand by and they may get
the category.
The name of this author in cartoon.
You guys and the other are morons if you can't get this one!
Nice hat Gray.
Who is Matthew Inman and the oatmeal?
Who is Matthew Inman and the oatmeal?
mail for Carson.
Ah, jeez.
Hey, can you Pokemon or are you like not able to speak?
I don't Pokemon.
I was wearing a ball gag.
He just wants a Pikachu.
Yeah, he just wants a Pikachu.
Okay, what do you want?
We'll do 8-bit for $300.
8-bits for $300.
The answer is, released in 1983,
the Dynatac 8000X
was the first commercially available one of these.
Wraith, you woke up.
What is a mobile phone?
What is a mobile phone is correct.
Finally, you get in the game.
Okay, pick a category.
Let's stick with 8-bits or less.
Let's stick with 8-bits or less.
$400.
The answer is...
All right, you finally got one.
Fuck.
Fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
$500.
Fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Well, again, we got a government program here,
so you got $100, but you can bet up to $5.
Well, whatever the max is.
$5.
I'm trying to give you hints.
I said $500.
$500, thank you.
Okay.
The answer is,
the author of this eponymously named...
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, wrong one.
Which one are you in?
$500.
I can't hear you.
You need to give me an extra glass to pour beer into your face.
8-bits or less that we're at.
Yeah, I can't hear a damn thing up here.
Okay.
Don't hold your breath.
Naming the 6th, Sierra, November 7,
which uses thermionic emission in an evacuation container.
What would do that?
What would do that?
Oh, God, we used to play with these as kids.
What is halon?
What is halon is not correct.
Halon, chlorofluorocarbons do not use thermionic emission in an evacuated container.
Okay, so that's a fuck-up.
How is that even 8-bits?
I saw this guy over here first.
What is a vacuum?
2 is correct.
All right, abuse time.
Why did I listen to you?
Get as hard as you can.
Oh, under the tail.
Woo!
Got a gratuitous one.
Hey, that Pikachu, why don't we just don't...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's disgusting.
It's this guys right here.
Love you all.
Alrighty, back to the board.
You own the board.
You don't deserve it, but what do you want?
Badge for 400.
You don't even know those hands.
Badge?
For 400?
Okay, now, I don't know how you're going to get your thing and one of those
in that costume, but let's take a look.
From the Latin, washing out a body cavity with water or medicated solution.
Oh!
I know what you're thinking, but somehow it doesn't fit.
Come on. Wow, this turned out to be a pretty interesting.
Alright, going once.
Going twice.
And out to the audience, I see this lady waving like crazy.
Not in the form of a question. I see
another lady over here.
Yeah, what is a lavage? Exactly. And what were you gentlemen thinking?
No, it was a lady.
Okay, back to the board. You odd creatures down there, you own the board.
You're in the hole, bigger and bigger, deeper and deeper. Wrong approach.
Come on, what do you got? Talk to me, goose!
Hacker Jeopardy! History for
400. Hacker Jeopardy! History for
400. The answer is, his rule makes puking on stage
cost you all your beer points. Rafe?
Who is Wynn Schwartau? Who is Wynn Schwartau is not
correct. Wynn's never lost it on stage. Nice hack, Rafe.
Come on, let's hear what you got.
Who is Humperdinck? Yeah, Chris. Way to go.
Anybody remember Chris? Yeah, he was awesome. He handicapped himself by chugging
an entire pitcher of beer before the game started. And then sat
down, threw up in a 40 gallon bucket, went back and finished the game.
Yeah, and the tent heat
if you remember over there at the Alexis Park. Okay, you own the board.
Nice hack, Ray. What do you want? Hacker Jeopardy! History for 500.
Closing out the category, the only two DEFCONs that did not
feature Hacker Jeopardy! Rafe?
What is DEFCON 1 and what is DEFCON 2?
What is DEFCON 1 and 2? No, I would say probably not
because the 200 point question said the first year it made an appearance and it was not
that was at DEFCON 2. So you failed on that one. We want to lose big.
Alright, other teams. Only two DEFCONs that did not feature Hacker Jeopardy!
Going once. Going twice.
Alright, out to the audience.
What are 1 and 3 is not correct.
Not in the form of question.
What is 1 and 12 is correct. Yeah.
That was the year they decided to try out new contests.
They failed miserably! Nothing is as awesome as Hacker Jeopardy!
All right. Yeah!
Alright! Okay, let's go.
Out to the board. Eight bits for 500. Which one?
Eight bits for 500. You gotta talk into the microphone, seriously.
No, get really close to it. Eight bits for 500. Can you hear him, Dave? I can't hear him.
Eight bits or less for 500. Yeah, we need
a monitor down here. Seriously. Okay. The world's first electronic digital
digital, programmable computer. It was delivered on the 18th of January, 1944.
Rafe.
Is he doing unnatural things to that microphone? What is he saying?
I can't hear that.
What is your bleached asshole?
It's only two bits, on and off.
I think we need to make sure he stays in that costume and take it outside in the heat.
No, that's not correct. It's not that old.
Wins is, 44. Not even Wins that old.
Come on. Go on once.
First electronic digital programmable computer. Go on twice.
Ask...
Alright.
What do you got?
Technically not correct from what the information I have.
Yeah.
Anybody? Yes.
What is the ENIAC? No, that was number two.
Last one. Okay.
What was... Okay, Kamensky, you got it? What is it?
What is the bomb? No, the bomb was a nickname for the analytic machine, but it was called the Colossus.
Okay. We got three of them left. What do you want?
Badge for 500.
Badge for 500 going all the way deep.
Alright, let's see what we got here, guys.
Another Daily Double.
Don't fuck it up! Don't fuck it up! Don't fuck it up! Don't fuck it up!
Well, what do you want?
500. We want it all.
500. You're going to bet all of it.
Let's see what they knew.
Another name for the pneumogastric nerve.
Now we're giving you 60% of the answer.
60% of the answer?
Uh...
Oh.
Rep is warming up.
Oh, that twerker is getting going.
Alright.
Well, there's only 676 times 120 possible combinations. What are they? Come on.
What is the wagon nerve?
Spell it, please.
V-H-E something and an N.
H-E-W-N. No, that is not correct.
The bangle nerve?
Bagel nerve.
Bagel nerve?
What is a bagus nerve, exactly? What is bagus?
Okay.
He went to... Yeah, they're out of... Oh, jeez.
Ah.
God, I'm glad I don't play this game anymore.
Okay, tunes for 400. Nice act, Ray. That's what we're going to give you if you don't get your act together.
Let's take a look.
Tunes for 400. The author of this eponymously named cartoon.
Rafe, what do you got?
What is your bleached asshole?
Hey, ref, I hope they rented those costumes. We're about to...
Okay.
Anybody, any other team recognize that artist?
He just died recently, a couple years ago.
Used to sell a lot of business cartoons.
Oh, that does...
Dickhead! Dickhead! Dickhead!
Dickhead! Dickhead! Dickhead!
All righty. Going once.
Going twice. Out to the audience. Anybody recognize this?
Anybody read the... All right.
Who is, or who was Randy Glasbergen?
And last one. The last of the board. The artist of this famous 1993 New Yorker cartoon.
You can't ring him to even see the cartoon.
All right. Don't show him the cartoon. Let's hear your answer.
Well, we're just here for the free beers.
You're here for the free beer. Get the fuck off the stage!
So what is...
Okay.
Clear it to the other teams, and let's put up the image.
On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.
He signed it.
I scribbled over it a little bit.
Going once.
Going twice.
Out to the audience. Anybody remember this?
Remember the cartoon, right? Yes, sir.
No, it's not.
All right. It's not Gary Larson.
All right. So the answer, let's take a look at it.
That was Peter Steiner. That's why it's a 500-point question.
So we're going to total up the beers.
We've got seven minutes left before the next game,
so we're going to total, and we're going to select a category.
We have nothing to actually bid.
I can't drink this, dude.
Okay.
So we got a total. We're going to go ahead and let you know what the points are.
We're going into the final Hacker Jeopardy category.
As you know, if you have less than zero points, you're disqualified,
and we pitch you off the stage unceremoniously,
never to return again to Hacker Jeopardy.
If, however, you have a positive score, then it turns out that you're in,
and you're going ahead.
The winner of this goes on to the final tomorrow night,
which will be held at 9 o'clock.
We've got round two coming up in just a moment.
Let me check with my scorekeeper here real quick.
Okay, we've got some totals.
We've got them locked in.
Okay, we've got the information,
so let's see what the final Hacker Jeopardy question category is for tonight.
Blow up job.
All righty, so let's see what we've got.
These cartoon characters were in the hole.
They're out of here.
Blow them off the stage.
And this is why you guys suck.
We give you a free beer in your lack of gratitude.
And Nice Hack Gray finished with zero points,
but they drank 10 beers, so they've got 1,000 to play with.
Pucifer, 1,700 plus 13 drinks, 3,000.
Unless those beers have affected their judgment,
they might be able to wager correctly to win this.
But you never know.
Worse things have happened, guys.
Remember, you blew the finals one year by wagering the wrong amount.
So let's go ahead.
I need you to write down your team name and your wager up to that in,
ideally, increments of 100, but you can bet any whole integer up to your wager.
Let's see what we've got.
Okay, so what we're going to have is we're going to have a fast turn here.
We've got the beers counted out.
We can go ahead and start clearing the beers as we go ahead and total it.
And I'll actually leave the beers here with a photo op.
So we're going to go ahead, and as soon as we get an okay on the beer numbers,
we're going to take a look at it.
You got the answers keyed in?
You got the numbers keyed in?
Okay.
You guys got to write it down.
Your answer should be in the form of a question.
Write it on that sheet of paper.
Let's take a look at the final Hacker Jeopardy answer.
The number of DEFCONs hosted at hotels that have been blown up.
We have a legacy here that we need to maintain.
And of course, the key is who here has been to all of them.
Anybody been to 10 or more DEFCONs?
Hey, if you've been to 10 or more DEFCONs, stand up.
10 or more, stand up.
Look at that.
Awesome.
If you've been to 15 or more, remain standing.
Otherwise, have a seat.
15 DEFCONs.
12.
All right.
Wynne Schwartau is on his feet.
20 or more DEFCONs.
Wynne, G-Mark, anybody else?
One other person here.
Okay, I told.
Okay.
How are we doing?
We got the wagers?
You got the answers in?
We're waiting for the answers to come in.
Come on.
Game's going.
We got three minutes to go ahead and turn this thing for the next game.
Don't wander off.
The next game's going to be better.
I promise you, no labors in the next one or the abuse will get worse.
Okay.
You got the answers?
Okay.
We've got the answers.
And let's see what they got.
Well, Nice Hat Gray.
Their answer was eight scribbled out and then 14.
Much as that would be a desired goal, that is rather a high number and it wasn't even
in the form of a question.
Yeah.
Serious fail.
How much did you bet?
You had 1,000.
Got it wrong for 1,000.
You end up at squat.
Zero.
Zilch.
Nada.
Don.
Lucifer.
Their answer is, what is Lucifer?
Two.
Two.
Which is not correct.
How much did you bet?
999.
They finish with 2001, A Space Odyssey.
You actually won.
You go on to the next game.
Of course, everybody knows.
What do you think the right answer is, by the way?
No.
We lost the Sands at DEFCON 1.
We lost Sahara at DEFCON 2.
We lost the Aladdin at DEFCON 3.
We lost the Sands at DEFCON 4.
And what just got blown up?
Riviera.
The Riviera.
Three more.
We lost five more.
So the total is, let's take a look.
What is eight?
Okay.
Man, we got one minute to go in the game.
Thank you very much.
We're going to turn real fast.
Game two is coming up.
We're going to reset the stage in under five minutes.
Let's go ahead and play some music, bounce some balls around right here, and we're going
to be a fast turn.
Thank you very much for playing.
See you guys in the finals.
Okay.
We're ready for game two.
How is that?
That's faster than Southwest Air Force Baseball.
That's faster than Southwest Airlines.
We turn that stage in two minutes.
Whoa.
Keep those off the monitors.
We've got to pay for those suckers.
Okay.
For game two, the first team.
Off and board.
Again.
You guys are like the bridesmaids of DEFCON.
Come on up, and hopefully you do better.
You sit all the way down there in the end with the green buttons.
I only see two guys.
Where's the third?
You can't play with two.
You can play with yourself, but...
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
Come on.
Take us toreen.
Okay.
Team number one.
Off and board.
Team number two.
Understand that these guys went all or nothing during trials, and they got it right.
So American Kamikaze Pilots!
Come on down.
Team two.
Come on down.
Team two.
That's really got to be a disturbing thought to any World War II veterans.
By the way, my uncle is still alive.
He's 90 years old, was a Navy vet from World War II, a medic with the Marines.
He would have landed on Japan if they had to invade if it hadn't been for the atomic bomb.
So he's still here 75 years later.
That's pretty cool.
Okay, and the third one.
What the hell?
Featuring none other than the amazing Dan Kaminsky.
We fucked it up!
Come on down!
Here we go.
All righty!
Hey, the last time that Dan played, I think it was over at the Riviera.
There was an awesome video on the internet that me filmed.
Dan coming off the stage at Hacker Jeopardy, desperately going for a men's room.
He gets to the door.
They're cleaning it.
Sit the fuck down.
Nobody cares about you.
And they won't let him in.
He's like, I'll pay you to let me in the bathroom.
It was so great.
Okay, so we got the team set up.
You understand the rules?
We're going to have six categories, one to 500 points.
You select your category to point.
Correct answers will result in points.
Let's look at the categories.
Dan, I've got beer all over my thumb.
We've got an itty bitty font.
Dicks, potent potables, I've got your number, huge election.
You tell us which 2016 presidential candidate or prospective candidate said this.
More DEFCON history.
And?
The last one doesn't have a name.
Say what?
Okay, so first team selected, half and more, do you own the board?
What do you want?
Dicks for 100, please.
Dicks for 100.
Okay.
The answer is, he wrote great expectations.
I see people bounding, but I don't see the score working.
We got a hardware problem?
Half and more.
Who is Charles Dickens?
Who is Charles Dickens is correct for 100.
All right.
What do you think?
We'd like more Dick for 200, please.
They want more Dick for 200.
The answer is, a detachable insert to simulate the front of a shirt.
Half and more.
What is a Dickie?
What is a Dickie for 200?
You got it.
What do you want? $300 worth of dick, please.
They want $300 worth of dick.
I don't know if that's a going rate in this town or not, but you may.
Let's see what they got.
Matthew Brock on News Radio. I want the full name.
Ooh.
Full name.
What do we got?
Oh, we got him.
Going once.
Going once.
If you can't think, drink, okay?
Going twice.
Out to the audience.
Someone to the green.
Who is Andy Dick is correct.
This audience is too quiet. I shouldn't have been able to hear that far back.
Of course, you've got a big line for beer back there. That's awesome.
But you play, you get free beer.
Okay, you still own the board even though you don't deserve it.
What do you want? More dick?
Yeah, we don't have any. We've got to get it for tomorrow.
Come back tomorrow. We'll double swag you.
More dick, more dick, more dick.
Come on, talk to me, Goose.
Dick for 400, please.
Say again?
Dick for 400.
Dick for, what's a dick for? Okay, dick for 400.
The answer is the purpose of the 10-foot long dicker rod.
Got a picture of it, I think.
You got a picture of it at night.
That's not a picture.
Ah, Dave.
There we go.
Oh, what's the purpose of this thing?
Go ahead.
What is to measure the position of a ball in a football game?
What is to measure the position of a ball in a football game for the precise yardage to figure out...
What is to measure the position of the precise yardage is close enough.
Yes, it is to measure yardage.
It's the World Football League.
They only lasted a couple of years.
The dicker rod never caught on.
It was instead of the three-person chain group.
Awesome.
So you're in control of the board and you're actually leading.
What do you want to do, gentlemen?
We're going to, what is dicks for 500?
They want the biggest dick of all, the 500-pointer.
All righty, let's see what we got for 500 points.
Featured in over 2,000 porn films, Johnny Wad's dick was reportedly measured at this length, within a half an inch.
Oh.
I don't need to see this.
I knew all the facts.
I can't.
Let the audience see it.
That's what...
Kamikazes.
What is eight and a half inches?
What is eight and a half inches?
No, it's not within a half an inch.
Unfold it.
No.
What do you got?
Come on, this guy's in 2,000 porn films with eight and a half inches?
What do you think he is, Japanese?
He might be big over there.
I know it's racist.
I'm sorry.
All right, he's Indian.
Equal opportunity.
Come on.
He's Irish.
Going once.
Take a guess.
Going twice.
It's 500 points worth of dick here.
What's 13 inches?
Nobody's ringing it in, so I don't know who wants to play that.
You already answered it, haven't you guys?
All right.
Anybody else want to try?
Going once.
Going twice.
Out to the audience.
What is 16?
Nobody's...
Nope.
Not quite.
What is 10?
Is not correct.
One more try.
What is 12?
Is still not correct.
The answer is, and if you got it the first time, you would have had to write 13 and a half,
or for our Canadian friends, 343 millimeters.
Gentlemen, we're out of dicks.
You're going to have to try another hole.
What do you want?
What is...
I've got your number?
I've got your number for 100.
The answer is the most used four-digit pin.
Off and board.
What is 1234?
What is 1234 is, of course, correct.
And if you're using that pin, you're a lamer.
Shame on you.
What number?
Numbers for 200, please.
Thank you, Mike.
Numbers for 200.
The answer is the least used four-digit pin.
Kamikazes.
What is 4321?
What is 4321?
No.
That's four-digit.
That's very popular with dyslexics, so that didn't make it last.
Out to the other two teams.
The least used four-digit pin, which is probably no longer the least used four-digit pin,
once it was in the study, right?
Because everybody figured, use that, no one will guess it.
Go on once.
Go on twice.
Out to the audience.
Who here uses the...
I don't know how to put the money anymore.
What is zero, zero, zero, zero?
No, that's like number two.
Yeah, we could be here all night and we'd probably never hit it right.
We don't have 10,000 people.
So what is 8-0-6-8?
Yeah.
All right, back to the board.
Off the board.
What do you want?
Numbers for 300, please.
Numbers for 300, eventually get it right.
Let's see what we got.
Oh, it's a daily double.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't.
All right, gentlemen, you've got 400.
You can wager up to 500 with government assistance.
What will it be?
400.
We'll bet 400.
Bet 400 on a 300-point question.
Okay, that works.
If you get it right, of course, you get points and glory.
You get it wrong and the dreaded null beer makes its appearance.
Let's see what we got.
This RFC specifies non-routable items.
IP address blocks.
What is RFC 1918?
Wow, they got it.
RFC 1918.
You ought to know that.
Of course, we all know what they are, right?
The slant 8 beginning with 10, 1-9-2, 1-6-8 for the slant 16.
And what's the other one?
1-7-2-16, slant 12.
Okay.
So let's see what good things.
Ooh, that was worth some.
Major clothing.
All right, Vanna.
Oh.
Oh.
Ruff.
Get out of the way.
All right.
All right.
Now we got something going.
All righty, then.
You're on the board, Appenmord.
Numbers for 400, please.
Numbers for 400.
The freaky build number for Windows XP, visible when booting in safe mode.
If I spelled one of the words differently, you'd know immediately.
It's the second word.
Spell it differently.
What do you think the answer is?
This is called dead air, boys and girls.
It sucks.
This sucks.
Dead air is no good.
Not with all this intelligence.
Oh, all right.
All right, kamikazes.
What is 2,600?
What is 2,600?
Yeah.
And, of course, Captain Crunch phone freaker, 2,600 hertz,
the in-band frequency signaling control for the AT&T system.
Go ahead.
What do you got?
What do you want?
Ooh.
Was that a daily double?
No, it wasn't.
So, oh, she's just doing a photo op.
All right, come on, make a category pick.
Say what for 100, please.
Say what?
Say what?
Say what?
Okay, it's in it.
Good enough.
Okay, here's how this works.
I am going to give you a verse out of a song.
You give me the name of the song, okay?
For 100.
100.
Ob-la-dee, ob-la-da.
Off and morn.
What is Life Goes On.
What is Life Goes On is not correct.
That's not the name of the song.
That's the next verse.
Over to teams.
Kamikaze.
Kaminsky.
American kamikaze.
This is a 100-point question.
If it were a dog, it'd bite you.
Kamikazes.
What is blue?
What is blue is not correct,
although it is the color of the screen background.
Last chance.
The answer's right in front of you.
Come on, give me an answer.
Going once.
Going twice.
Oh, my God, what's happened?
Person waving like crazy over there.
Not in the form of a question.
It was?
I can't hear up here.
Okay, she got it right.
Okay, what is ob-la-dee, ob-la-da?
It's right in front of you.
It's a verse that's the name of the song.
I can't make it any easier for you guys.
All right, off, kamikaze pilots, you got the board.
What do you want?
Kamikaze pilots, make a choice, damn it.
Dive, dive, dive.
Okay, I'm going to pick the category.
Potent potables for 100.
The answer is,
this chemical has a boiling point of approximately 78 degrees.
Celsius, which allows for its distillation.
We fucked it up.
What do you got?
What is alcohol?
Could you be more specific?
That describes an entire category of chemicals.
Probably not.
Got right into the microphone.
What is ethanol?
What is ethanol is correct.
Ethyl alcohol, the good stuff.
And by the way, thank you, Mr. Jim Manley,
for that wonderful opportunity last night.
If you're out here.
Okay, is he here, Jim?
Oh, well, never mind.
Out to the board.
You guys on the board.
What do you want?
All right, we're going to put them potables for two.
We're going to keep drinking here.
Let's see what the answer is.
Grand Teton, Luxasawa, and Spudkar distilled from the root of this vegetable.
We fucked it up.
What do you got?
What is a potato?
What is a potato?
We need a little bit better audio on that particular microphone.
If the guy on the mic can boost this.
You're the guy that got taken away in an ambulance last year.
Sit down.
All right.
What do you want?
We're out of dick.
Pot and potables for 300.
The answer is an Italian spirit distilled from the skins,
pulp seeds,
and stems of great,
great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great.
Kamikazes.
What is wine?
What is wine is not correct.
Off and more.
What is grappa?
What is grappa is correct.
You own the board.
What do you want?
Say what for 200, please?
Say what for 200?
Okay.
The answer is a wop-bom-a-loo-mop-a-lop-bam-boom.
We fucked it up.
What do you got?
What is Tutti Frutti?
What is Tutti Frutti?
You got it, Little Richard.
All righty.
You're doing pretty well.
Not bad.
All right.
Gentlemen, make a selection.
What do you want?
Say what for three?
Say what for 300?
The answer is the Daily Double.
All right.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Now, gentlemen, if you did a real Daily Double...
We would like to do a true Daily Double.
A true Daily Double!
All righty.
Way to go.
All right, a true Daily Double.
They're going to bet all 900 points,
giving them an awesome lead if it works.
Let's go.
Let's see what the answer is.
For 300, now to a thousand.
Do-do-do-do.
Da-da-da-da.
What is the name of the song?
Ooh.
There's a lot of good things and a lot of bad things.
You came to the wrong place.
These types of questions really seem to catch people off guard, don't they?
The song is fucking playing in my head right now.
I know it's playing through your head.
So, say the first thing that comes to your mind in the form of a question.
What's your answer?
What's your question?
What's the name of the song?
What's the name of the song?
Three.
Two.
One.
Let's hear what you got.
What is it all I mean to you?
What is...
What is it all I mean to you?
What is it all I mean to you is not correct.
Bad things happen.
Down to zero.
Man with the beard.
What is do-do-do-do-da-da-da?
Oh, fuck you!
Oh, fuck you!
Fuck you!
We fucked it up!
We fucked it up!
We fucked it up!
We fucked it up!
Alright.
But these pussies to the right, we tried!
We tried!
Fuck you!
Oh boy!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Can I borrow this for a minute?
Yeah, I gotta get it back.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Thank you, sir! May I have another?
Thank you, sir! May I have another?
Thank you, sir! May I have another?
One more for the road!
What's the backswing?
Oh!
Alright, let's go! We own the board!
We fucked it up! What do you want?
You're down the hole, you're at zero.
Come on, what do you want?
We'll take... I've got your number for 500.
We'll take...
I've got your number? Is that what you said?
Well, I've got your number for 500.
The answer is
the number of bitcoins earned today for mining a block.
Dan, you should know this.
What is 12.5?
12.5 is correct.
July 9th, they just cut the reward in half again.
They just halved it.
And, by the way, this is the guy who's responsible
for Bernanke being in the blockchain
forever and ever. Well done, sir!
Well done, sir!
Okay, you own the board. What do you want?
We'll count some potent potables.
Potent potables for 400.
The answer is
Stone made its fourth limited release
on the 11th of July of this beer
with the collaboration of actor Will Wheaton.
Wow, we've got lights.
I should know this.
Have you now remembered
a member of the Communist Party of the United States of America?
Okay, come on, it's a hacker question.
Hacker question.
Think of it. Stone Brewery.
Limited release.
Anybody drink beer around here?
Going once. Going twice.
Out to the audience.
Waving, waving, waving. What do you got?
They got in. Okay, we got an answer.
Kamikaze, what do you think?
What is arrogant bastard?
No, what is arrogant bastard is not correct.
Let me see.
Waving.
Yeah, what is woot stout?
Okay, back to
the board here.
Hey, you fucked it up. You own the board.
Hey, damn it.
We'll finish out Potables.
Finish out Potables for 500.
That's not my fault. The answer is
this very rare 95.6
fruit 23-year-old American bourbon
easily sells for $29.99 if you can
find it. We fucked it up. What is it?
What is Pappy Van Winkle?
What is Pappy Van Winkle?
Yeah!
Yeah!
And I would love if you got
some of that. I'd love some. I'd love to try it.
Good stuff.
Okay, so
we got three categories left. You're in control
of the board. We got a close tie here.
1,000 to 1,000. Anybody can win this one.
Except probably not the Kamikaze. Ooh, wow.
Nipples.
Nipples.
We'll do Def Con History for 100.
Def Con History
for 400?
100. Okay.
Let's see.
How good you are at math.
The answer is...
Alright.
Don't fuck it up!
Don't fuck it up!
Don't fuck it up!
Well,
now you can go double or nothing on a 100-point
question. That's not supposed to happen, but
it does happen from time to time.
We think you're trying to fuck us over, so we'll go
for 500. 500. You're going to split
the difference. Okay. For 500
points and the avoidance of the
dreaded near-beer, the answer
is the number of times
Hacker Jeopardy has been held at Def Con.
Yeah, because
you heard the answer from the first game. You're paying attention.
Counting this
one, because it's actually happening.
Number of
Hacker Jeopardies that we've had at Def Con.
He's checking his badge.
Oh.
Oh, come on.
What is 22?
What is 22 is
correct! Alright!
Alrighty.
Well done, gentlemen. That was a good
500-point gain, and we own
the board. What do you want?
I think I'm going to switch over to a huge election.
Oh, wow.
For 100.
What do you want? Huge election.
Okay, huge election. Remember, we're
going to give you the quote, and you tell
me the potential candidate.
For 100 points.
I'm really rich.
Off and more.
Who is Donald Trump?
Who is Donald Trump is correct.
That was
easy.
I'm not allowed to hit the button.
I'm not allowed to hit the button.
Okay, you own the board. What do you want?
Huge election for 200, please.
Huge election for 200.
The answer is, it's
not God's plan that I be
president in 2016, or maybe ever.
Even ever. Who is Ted Cruz?
Who is Ted Cruz? No, that is
not Ted Cruz's quote,
although we all might wish it were.
Definitely not Hillary Clinton.
Either other team.
Okay,
Kamikazes. Who is Marco Rubio?
Marco Rubio is correct.
Who is now running for
reelection in Florida is
state senator. Okay, well
done. You own the board. What do you want?
Kamikazes. Talk to me,
Goose.
Huge election for 300.
Huge election for 300.
The answer is, there are a lot of people
who love me, they just won't vote for me.
Hey,
move the beer over here. Come on, pay attention. Move the beer.
Move the beer. Move the beer. Quit playing with your boobs.
A lot of people
who love me, they just won't vote for me.
Come on,
move the beer.
Going once.
Kamikazes, what do you got?
Who is Bush?
Who is Bush? No,
not correct.
Because nobody loves Bush
as much as we love Bush.
Right? Okay.
Going once.
Going twice.
Man's having an epileptic fit out there.
Let's see what you got.
Abuse that, man!
Abuse that, man!
My mom's still alive and she's a nice lady.
My mom's still alive and she's a nice lady.
Who is Christie? Is not correct.
Who is Ted Cruz? Okay, we're out. One more.
Who is Ted Cruz? Okay, we're out. One more.
The kid.
The kid. What did he say?
I can't hear.
I can't hear.
Yes!
The kid's got it right. Who's Ben Carson?
All right!
A future American
leader here by ourselves.
You do not want to come up here. This is like not
what...this is eye bleach stuff, okay?
Mom is going to wait about ten years
for this in your life. Okay.
Back to the board. Come on.
We got it. Kamikaze pilots,
there's no reason you should have control of the board but you do.
What do you want?
What do you want?
Huge election for 400.
Huge election for 400.
The answer is...
Don't fuck it up!
Don't fuck it up!
Don't fuck it up!
Don't...
All righty. Well, we're running out of clothing.
We're running out of clothing for Vanna but you're probably
running out of ideas.
So what are you going to bet? You're 1200 in the hole.
You can bet up to $500
of government money.
Which means I know who you're voting for
this fall. We'll bet all $500
of government money.
Let's see what you get for 500 points. The answer is...
I will continue to travel this country
and fight!
Party!
Yep.
I will continue to travel this country
and fight!
Who is Bernie Sanders?
Who is Bernie Sanders is not attributed to that quote!
Oh dear!
Here comes some more abuse!
All right. Cat of nine tails.
Oh!
He's taking it for the whole team.
He's going to take one for the team!
What a man!
Yeah, don't go up between the legs.
That kind of hurts on the recoil.
All right.
Nothing to waste the time.
Who remembers this candidate?
Dropped out of the race.
Going once. You see?
This is why this person never won.
The answer is, of course...
Who is Carly Fiorina?
We're back to the board.
Kamikazes, what do you want?
Oh man!
You get style points for that one.
What do you want?
Going once.
Defcon history for 200.
The answer is,
the most number of Defcons held at the same venue.
Yeah, really.
I'm pretty sure some people have been to all of those.
Going once.
Going twice.
And...
Going out to the audience, gentlemen.
What is seven is correct.
We've got some stuff for you.
Yeah, the Alexis Park.
That was an awesome place.
Look at this.
Here's a political thing that would have been better for the huge election.
But congratulations.
By the way,
we've got some more of these shirts.
We're selling them for EFF donations.
100% off.
100% goes to EFF.
We'll do 30 bucks on them.
Okay, back to the board.
Kamikaze pilots, what do you think?
Farah, you don't deserve it, but it's still your board.
Say what for 400?
Say what for 400?
The answer is,
Come on, Dan.
What you got?
What is pretty fly for a white guy?
Pretty fly for a white guy.
Pretty fly for a white guy.
No, it is not the original.
That's totally correct.
They copied it?
Yeah.
All right, we'll give them that, too, because we had two of them.
All right.
The one that I remember is Rock of Ages from Leopard from 83,
but it was copied as well.
It's totally offspring.
It's totally offspring.
Yeah.
Okay, go, go, go.
You fucked it up.
You fucked it up.
You fucked it up.
You fucked it up.
This is so bad.
Come on, man, get your shit together.
I love this job.
That was the right answer, too.
Okay, you're on the board.
There goes my 12-step program.
What do you want?
Defcon history for 300.
The answer is...
This Defcon was held at the hotel
recently named Nomad Las Vegas.
Oh, yeah, this just happened about a month ago.
Oh, yeah, this just happened about a month ago.
All right.
I'll give you a hint.
It was my first Defcon.
It was my first Defcon.
Going once.
Kamikazes.
What is Alexis Park?
What is Alexis Park is not the name of a DEFCON.
No.
This DEFCON was held at a hotel recently renamed Nomad.
I just drove past Alexis Park.
It's still called the Alexis Park.
Other teams, going once.
Going twice.
Oh, there's a dancing down the aisle.
What is DEFCON 4 at the Monte Carlo?
Absolutely.
You got it.
Okay.
Back to the board.
You have four things left.
Let's make the most of them.
What do you want?
More DEFCON history, please.
Okay, DEFCON history for 400.
The answer is this first DEFCON in which Gwen Schwartow spoke about HEARF guns.
Oh, even Wynn can't remember that.
You're old, dude.
You fart dust.
I don't know if he actually spoke.
Going once.
Going twice.
Oh, look at that nasty beer going down.
Really?
Really?
There are three of us who are...
Two of us.
Two of us remember this.
In the room.
Okay, out to the audience.
We were saying, do you have an answer?
Going once.
Going twice.
Okay, the answer is what is DEFCON 2?
You're on the agenda speaking about HEARF guns, Wynn.
Check the DEFCON history pages.
That was also the first year that we had Hacker Jeopardy.
Okay.
Three left.
All 500s.
This could swing the game if you get it right.
DEFCON history for 500, please.
DEFCON history for 500.
The answer is this.
The presenter of the first talk at DEFCON 1, to hack or not to hack.
That is not the question.
Yeah.
The first speaker at DEFCON 1.
I worked with the guy for a couple of years at Secure Computing.
Three, two, one.
Out to the audience.
Yes, sir.
No, it was not Dark Tangent.
He didn't do that talk.
He organized it.
Yeah, this is a tough one.
That's why it's 500 points.
It's a buddy of mine, a very dear friend.
He's been around the industry for a long, long time, obviously.
Who is Ray Kaplan?
Yeah.
Okay, we're down to huge election and say what?
What is huge election for 500?
What is huge election for 500?
The answer is...
I believe we're out of time.
Think about the campaigns.
Or the lack of them.
Beer.
Beer needed.
Beer needed.
Come on, ladies.
You got to be beer-ing.
We be beer-ing.
Okay.
Going once.
Going twice.
Out to the audience.
Who is...
Joe Biden is correct.
I heard it a second time.
Yeah.
Never got the campaign off the ground.
They waited a little bit long.
He had some family losses.
You know, kid died and things like that.
So...
We got last one.
Say what for 500?
Bring it on.
I'll remember.
500 points.
Get it right.
You can be a hero.
The answer is...
Na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na.
Hey.
Good.
Na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na.
Hey.
Goodbye.
All right.
Going once.
Going twice.
And American Kamikaze pilot's about to self-destruct.
The answer is...
What is your mom's bleached asshole?
Aw.
You know,
We give you a free beer, we give you access to beautiful women, you don't have to pay for that, and you pull that shit.
Same on you.
Just get off the stage right now.
Anybody remember this one?
The name of the song actually is it.
I can see it in the back.
Let's hear it.
Let's see what the answer is.
What is na-na-hey-hey, kiss him goodbye.
Okay, a little before everybody's time, we're down to the final Hacker Jeopardy question, so we're going to total up beers.
And we're going to total up beers and see who wins to go into the final Hacker Jeopardy round tomorrow.
So the MC's are going to be totaling beers.
Stick around because it's going to look like we've got an interesting game here.
Okay, go in once.
Let's see, get the beers counted.
Beers counted, beers tabulated.
They've got to be fully completed beers.
By the way, yeah, they're going to pull the beers very quickly, so save one for the MC.
Okay, we've got the numbers in.
And so let's take a look at the final Hacker Jeopardy question.
Better than Hacker Jeopardy?
What could possibly be better than Hackle Jeopardy?
Let's see what we've got.
Off and more, 900 points, 12 beers, 1,200.
We fucked it up, 1,900, but 10 beers, 2,900.
We've got a game.
So let's go ahead and write down your wager.
I need a wager for the category, better than Hacker Jeopardy?
We'll do that next year.
Hey, we got any beers left?
I need one.
She's great.
Okay, we're trying to get the wagers to watch.
Okay, remember, your answer has to be in the form of a question.
Well, it doesn't have to be.
You could be an idiot and not put it in the form of a question, but it really would help.
We've got the wagers.
Give me a positive integer, less than or equal to 2,900.
Oh, my goodness.
Okay.
There's a little bit of gaming going on.
Let me know, Dave, when you've got the scores locked in,
and we'll go ahead and we'll pop that question.
Again, write your answer in the form of a question.
We'll collect them, and we'll see how well you do.
Dave, let me know when we've got the answers logged in.
Okay, we've got the points logged in.
So let's see.
Here we go.
The final answer is,
this keynoter hosted the failed DEF CON contest advertised as,
quote, what's this?
Where's Hacker Jeopardy?
The simplest explanation is change.
It's time to mix it up and make things better.
Ooh.
You've gotten several hints throughout the evening about what's going on here.
This keynoter that hosted the failed DEF CON contest.
Only lasted once.
Hey, what's going on?
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Something that could be better than
Hacker Jeopardy? Nothing could be
better than Hacker Jeopardy!
Do we agree? Yeah!
We got beer, we got women, we got intelligence.
We need more ladies playing the game.
We got, again, submit an email.
Just send it to hackerjeopardy
at gmail.com. The autoresponder
will kick back, and you'll go ahead
and it'll tell you how to submit for a team.
Alrighty, we're
going to go ahead and collect the answers
of somebody who thought
they could do better than Hacker Jeopardy.
What keynoter
could do that?
Not looking good.
It's probably
going to come down to the betting strategy.
So,
let's start with our
team that's in the lead.
We fucked it up with 2,900 points.
They, um,
well, they kind of got it wrong.
Uh, so what did you
So what
What did they wager?
What did they say? Who is win?
Now, why would win
bet against win?
It's not logical.
It is totally illogical.
Better than Hacker Jeopardy? Win.
How much did they wager?
$7.99, giving them a total of...
Oh, I don't know.
Half and board.
Let's see what you bet.
Maybe you got it.
Half and board.
What is, yeah, what is a better answer?
Good thing.
What is John McAfee, who, by the way,
I think is hosting a, uh,
Demon saw party tonight.
So you can go that over there.
Just, they got free shuttles going over there.
It's going to be at the Larry Flint Hustler Club.
Show your DEFCON badge to get in.
What is John McAfee was never a keynoter at DEFCON and never a
keynoter at Black Hat.
So he's wrong.
So they got it wrong.
How much they bet?
$2,100.
Oh, so it fucked it up.
Got it.
By the way, the answer is a dear friend of mine.
Let's take a look.
Richard Thiem.
The event was the latest league, lasted one season and we came back.
So we'll be back again tomorrow night, eight o'clock, game three.
And then the finals, these guys are going to try to unseat the 49 champions.
Thank you very much.
You got beer for sale.
Wonderful.
Having you here.
We did not fuck it up this time photo ops available, but I remember we got
some shirts for the EFF, 30 bucks for the EFF.
We'll get the shirts up here.
Ladies.
I'll help you out, sir.