All right, out to the audience. Let's figure out some questions. Now you got to earn them tonight, guys.
Okay, out to the audience. A T-Mobile shutdown of email and other mobile services for more than a week was caused by this company who owned Sidekick.
Yeah, what do you got?
You just reached your hand. You don't have no idea. What?
Not in the form of a question.
No, you're still wrong anyway. Nice try, though.
Hey, wait a minute. Where are the DEF CON folks?
All right, I got translators with nobody here yet. Okay.
No, it's still the wrong answer. It's what is Microsoft? The one video we all love to hate. Oh, let's try again.
Google, after a four-day outage and lost a customer, Gmail data had to resort to this technology to restore their accounts.
Category is Cloudburst.
No.
That is not SMS. No, they're not going to restore their entire Gmail database from that.
MySQL is not correct. One more.
Yeah, you guys desperately need this. It's a physical tape backups. What you got?
Lockpicking101.com. We got all kinds of cool swag for you.
Obey the ref. Here comes the bouncing balls. Keep away from the electronics, please.
Got to pay a ton of money for it.
Okay, ton of swag up here.
It's funny to have three Cabana boys standing behind me.
Okay, we got... let's go then and grab a seat. We're going to get ready soon.
Start in about two minutes. Couple up to the audience.
Acronyms.
S-T-E. Sierra Tango Echo. What does that stand for?
Nobody. No feds out here. This is horrible. No feds.
How's my gain on my microphone? I really got to be on top of this.
I got to be eating this microphone to get the gain. Can you boost me a little bit on the boost panel?
How about now?
Hey, who's working the... there we go. Thank you very much.
Okay, we got some great swag again tonight.
When we get out to the audience questions, we got everything from lockpick sets to Wi-Fi pineapples.
Oh, he likes it.
Hey, anybody need a lockpick set?
Okay, we're up.
They're not going to throw very well.
Lockpick. There we go.
Johnny Appleseed of the lockpick world.
Figured.
Okay, how are we doing? Come on, they're pouring in.
Keep con coming. We're going to be starting up in just a couple minutes, so...
We got Hacker Jeopardy. We got winners from last night who are playing tonight. Here comes me.
Come on, me. What you got?
Right in the back of the screen.
We about ready to roll? Okay, ready on the left?
Ready on the right?
Ready on the firing line? Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Hacker Jeopardy!
And I'll introduce you to our cast members.
The founder of MohawkCon, Ed Ward. Come on, Ed, come on down.
Our Vanna Vinal, who got tossed out or got in trouble in first grade for hacking the computer systems and now runs an internet company. Vanna Vinal!
Another lady who's here to help out. A beautiful, lovely Sophie.
And our beer Betty, the lady who had a lot to do in involvement with the start of Bitcoin and alt currencies. The new win.
And, of course, the audience favorite, the one you love to hate. The ref!
Everybody, Hacker Jeopardy is going to be huge.
You're going to love all our clues. We've got the best clues. It's going to be huge.
Alrighty, so, hey, welcome there. I drink and I know things. Awesome shirt.
Me, what you got? Yeah, let's keep those things away from the stage.
So, we had trials today. They went this morning. I had to give up one hour and six minutes to a couple of congressmen, which we're happy to do.
They were doing the interviews and the discussions out there, which is really great for DEF CON, bringing in our elected representatives to talk about security.
So, that was fine, but we still had a number of qualified teams that submitted, a ton of them.
The first team that we'd like to offer a sleep to, if you're here, you've got to be here.
Don't poke me now, you hear? Yeah, come on down!
Don't, what are you, come on, get your ass down here, move it!
Up, up, up, up, up!
Okay, we've got ideas, sorry, Nevada Law.
The second team, incoming.
I thought we already played, no, that's right, these guys did.
Yeah, change shell to root, minus S slant, user bin yes.
You got it? You made it!
Four out of five right in the trials. These guys rocked it.
They blew the top, number five, so they're in.
Team number two, check your IDs.
Number three.
Sea Tech Astronomers, are you here?
All righty.
Honorable mention to Dank Horse who came in fourth.
Of course, that's worth nothing around here.
Okay, so we've got Sea Tech closest to me.
I'm going to call you to root there in the middle, and don't poke me down at the end.
So, as you all know, here are the rules.
We're going to serve you beers. Do not start drinking beer until I say go.
All right, otherwise I don't count.
You can put beers in front of them, but they don't count until I say go.
You'll select a category and a dollar amount.
All answers must be in the form of a question.
If you get it wrong, you lose the points.
Daily Double, we've got something for you.
Traditionally, what we've done for Daily Double, of course, is you get to do your own interaction with Vanna.
We're going to one-up on that.
So the ref, Dave, and I are going to give an alternative.
If you win a Daily Double...
Pay attention down here, dammit!
If you win a Daily Double, you can make us instead give $100 to the EFF,
and we'll all chip in out of our own pockets to make that happen.
So that's the alternative.
If you love EFF, select that as your award.
And we'll pay it out of our own pocket, because we believe in what's going on.
Okay, we're ready to go.
You understand the rules. Ready on the game?
Okay, let's get them rolling, and let's get those beers on the table.
Don't Poke Me Man is going to be in charge of the board.
Yeah, remember, we couldn't afford the license for that noise, so we have to make it ourselves.
Ah, dammit.
Wait, we're having a problem with the beer distribution unit.
Let's go, go, go, go, go. Okay, what do you got?
Start the game.
Poke Morgan, $500.
Pokey Moron for $500. Whoa!
All righty, the answer is...
The number of different Pokemons cataloged in the first Pokedex series.
Who the hell is Yes? The guys in the middle?
All right, Yes, what you got?
151.
Not in the form of a question!
SeaTac astronomers!
What is 151?
I mean, first of all, why the hell do you even know that?
But SeaTac astronomers trying to capitalize on the error should say what?
Uh, what is 151?
What is 151 is correct for 500 points.
All right, so we've earned that, that's good.
SeaTac, you're in control of the board.
Uh, Jeopardy for 100.
Jeopardy for 100.
The answer is...
The creator of Jeopardy.
SeaTac astronomers.
It was Merv Griffin.
It was Merv Griffin is correct.
Probably rolling in his grave at what we're doing to this game.
Jeopardy for 2.
Jeopardy for 2.
The answer is...
He won 74 games on Jeopardy, earning $3.422 million in total.
SeaTac astronomers.
It was Ken Jennings.
It was Ken Jennings is correct.
Wow, we got some players here.
You see what happens when you put women on the team?
All right, go for it.
Jeopardy for 3.
Jeopardy for 300.
The answer is...
The composer of the theme music to Jeopardy.
Wynn Schwartau knows.
He was there.
In 1890-something?
Gotta ring in.
Come on.
It's trivial, but it's not that trivial.
Look at Wynn.
It looks like Dr. Strangelove over there.
He's trying to put his arm to sleep.
Going once.
Going twice.
It's a 300-pointer, so I got a USB rubber ducky for somebody who knows the answer out here.
What do you got?
No, you keep Googling stuff.
I saw you yesterday doing that.
You're disqualified.
No cheating.
All right, who is that?
Who is me?
It's Merv Griffin.
Yeah, give him the guy in the green shirt.
Rubber ducky time.
Not the inflatable one in the bathtub.
SeaTech astronomers, you're on the board.
Jeopardy for 400.
Jeopardy for 400.
You didn't know that?
You think you can do better.
Composed by Merv Griffin.
The name of the song played during the 30-second period in Final Jeopardy.
This is going to be worth a transparent lock where you can go ahead and test your keys and things like that.
These are from the bump key, folks.
They're not going to be tossed out.
They're going to hand them to you.
Go in once.
Go in twice.
There goes an eye.
Come on, out to the audience.
Guy raising his hand over there.
What's the answer?
No, what is Final Jeopardy is not the name of the song.
Not quite.
Not in the form of a question.
Yeah, what does he think?
He got it.
Guys, this isn't tough.
There's a reason you're not up on stage.
Okay.
Hey, it's all about it.
We're equal opportunity offenders here.
All right.
Not that you deserve it, but you guys still on the board.
We'll continue to fill Jeopardy for 500.
Jeopardy for 500 closing out the category.
Hosting the show from 1964 to 1975, he's the only host of Jeopardy other than Alex Trebek.
Oh, jeez.
Come on, people.
I know some of you weren't even born until 1975.
Hey, Doc Who seems to know the answer.
Going once.
Going twice.
What do we got for you?
What do you think?
Out to the audience.
Doc Who is it?
Who is Winschwartau is not correct.
Who is Art Fleming is correct.
Swag that dude.
OK.
We might set a record for the worst performance on stage.
Star Wars Stormtrooper USBs.
There you go.
OK.
Mee's going to take care of that.
Back to the board.
You own it again, believe it or not.
Let's go Things No One Has at DEF CON.
Things that No One Has at DEF CON.
For 100, I'll presume.
So the answer is accumulation of cetaldehyde in the body is a significant contributor to this.
Also a movie title.
Oh my god, really?
Things that Nobody Will Ever Have at DEF CON.
Yeah, like everybody else has got one over here already.
Going Once.
Did we do a brain test on these people?
I know we tested the equipment.
Going Twice.
Tons of people.
The lady over here waving at me with the black bunny ears.
What is Alcohol Poisoning?
It's not the name of a movie title.
The guy going like this.
Yeah, what is a hangover?
Things that Nobody Has at DEF CON.
Right.
Oh, jeez.
Swag that, dude.
The guy in the red shirt with the beard.
He needs something.
You get a mazu.
That's actually a pretty good lockpick set.
Again, thanks to the lockpick folks over here in Vendor Village.
Go ahead and take over.
Pick something else you don't know.
Call Me Maybe for 100.
Call Me Maybe for 100.
Now, given something vaguely like a phone number, tell us where it's from.
For 100 points, the answer is NCC-1701.
It's a hundred pointer!
What is the registry of the USS Enterprise?
Yeah, I'll take that.
What is Star Trek or the Enterprise?
Nice to know there's still some Trekkies around who aren't in diapers.
Hey, it's been 50 years since that show started.
1966 with Bill Shatner.
Okay, you got the board and you got some points on the board.
What do you want?
Call Me Maybe for 2.
Call Me Maybe.
Trying to see if your phone number's in here.
The answer is 8-6-7-5-3-0-9.
What is Jenny Jenny?
What is Jenny from Tommy Two-Tone?
Yes, it is.
You add some points on the board.
All right.
Finally!
All right, Donde Poco Mi Man, what do you got?
300.
Call Me Maybe for 300.
The answer is the first daily double.
Now, what's your election?
Do you want us to contribute $100 to the EFF or do you want to go ahead and satisfy your own young man urges?
EFF!
EFF it is!
A hundred bucks out of our pockets for EFF.
Pledging it in front of 2,000 people we're paying.
And if they get it right, they gotta get it right.
So, how many points do you want to wager?
You can wager up to 500.
Well, all of it's only 200.
Fucking 500, baby!
500, baby! We're gonna do it.
All right, let's see what the answer is.
The answer is 6-0-6-0-8-4-2.
Oh!
EFF needs you to get this right.
Come on, guys.
Yep, he's out of beer. He needs more beer.
Beer has been standing by right behind you.
When you're ready for more, another beer.
Come on, 6-0-6-0-8-4-2.
The ref is standing by, sharpening his paddle.
Vanna's.
What is the hooker's phone number from last night?
Oh!
Anybody listen to the B-52s?
He's standing up in the back.
You look like you're gonna go have a hernia.
Oh, you're just having a hernia, okay.
Out to the audience, anybody.
These eponymous questions are really gonna screw up.
Yeah, my scorekeeper, Dave, you gotta...
What is, pull it up, 6-0-6-0-8-4-2.
Come on, guys, it doesn't get any easier!
Oh, man.
Oh!
Better not get that one wrong again.
Don't poke me, man. You've got the board and you're having a hard time sitting down. Not a surprise.
EFF got nothing because of your failure.
Stack for 500, please.
Look at this. This guy's gonna kick in $100 out of his own wallet for EFF!
The EFF is not gonna lose because of that.
Right up here in the EFF tip jar.
Donate it all. All right.
Back out to the game. Don't poke me, man. You own the board.
Stack for 500, please.
Stacked for 500.
Okay. The answer is...
Do you guys work in technology or do you work at Kmart? What's the deal? Come on.
Seriously, I put questions in here.
All right, SeaTac astronomers.
What is the network discovery protocol? Yeah! Come on, IPv6ers.
Yeah. IPv6 is almost up to 12% of what we're doing for Internet traffic today. It's really coming on.
So all you guys gotta get off of Windows XP.
Okay. Let's see what we've got.
Stacked for 4. He's gonna work the stack backwards.
All right, let's pop the stack.
400. The embedded protocol number for encapsulated security payload in an IP header.
Don't poke me, man.
What is 51?
What is 51 is not correct.
That is not the encapsulated security payload.
That's the authentication header.
That's AH.
Over to the other two teams. Come on.
If it's not 51, what could it be?
Well, you got a 50-50 shot. It's better than anything else you got for those.
Yeah, you got money. They're fine.
The guys in the middle ought to take a gamble.
Going once. Going twice.
Who is making all that whistling noise?
First guy.
Yes, what are you going to say?
All right. He said, what is ESP? That is ESP.
I want to know the protocol number.
So he gets it. The guy over here with the beard gets it.
He said, what is 50?
50 is 51.
Okay, come on. Go study your networking.
There's technical merit to this program.
SeaTech Astronomers, what do you got?
Stack for three.
What do you want?
Stack for three.
Pop in the stack. Stack for 300.
The answer is the first octet of an IPv6 link local address.
Don't book me, man.
What is Fox Echo?
Fox Echo.
You got it. Fox Echo.
Or 0XFE.
Finally!
Take these off now.
Octet, that's eight bits.
That's good.
Okay, you're kind of poking me, man.
Whoa, somebody's getting poked.
What do you want?
Fine, stack for 200.
Pop in the stack for 200.
We're working our way up the stack.
The answer is a CIDR notation for IPv4 link local addresses.
IPv4 link local.
What happens when your DHCP doesn't work?
What do you get?
Yeah, that.
Projectile network.
Don't book me, man.
Not in the form of a question.
As I can hear down here.
Anybody else want to take a shot at that?
Did he say what?
I don't have a reflective monitor.
He did have the what?
Okay.
My scorekeeper says no, he did not.
Because he can read lips.
Okay, no.
Back to the CIDR notation.
IPv4 link local address.
What do you get when DHCP isn't DHCPing?
Except not in the form of a question.
Again, total fail.
You've already got something.
Sit down.
You look like you've got ants in your pants.
What are the first two octets?
Yeah, what is 169.254.00.16?
CIDR notation tells you the number of bits that are fixed for the network address.
You're going to get another lockpick.
That's something pretty decent.
Okay, that was a 200-point question.
Back to the board.
Don't poke me, man.
You sink into oblivion.
One.
We're going to pop the stack.
See if you guys can handle a 100-pointer.
All right, we'll try it.
The answer is...
AH and ESP are members of this security protocol suite
that can operate in transport or tunneling mode.
Don't poke me, man.
CTEK astronomers.
Which one's got it, Dave?
CTEK got it first.
What is IPsec?
What is IPsec?
Of course it is.
Starting to look like a runaway here.
Things no one has at DEF CON for 200.
Things that no one has at DEF CON for 200.
Practicing their profession
is technically illegal
in Clark County.
What is prostitution?
Yes.
What are prostitutes or prostitution?
Or...
Paybacks are a bitch, guys!
All righty.
You on the board there.
Don't poke me, man.
Same category, 300.
Same category, the things nobody has at DEF CON for 300.
The answer is...
The active ingredient in these
is psilocybin.
What are magic mushrooms?
What are magic mushrooms are correct for 300,
which might account
for your poor performance in this game.
You own the board.
Pick something other than your nose.
Let's take Pokemoron for 400.
Pokemoron? Hold on a second.
Pokemoron for 400.
The answer is...
This.
Another Daily Double.
Okay.
Fuck it up.
How much do you want to wager?
They don't have anything.
They can't wager all of it.
It's a negative amount.
You can wager up to 500.
It's a government program.
500 is the wager.
And if you get it right,
do you want us to contribute to EFF
or do you want to go ahead and play with the ladies?
EFF!
EFF!
EFF!
E-F-F.
Okay.
So this will be for EFF for 100 bucks.
Don't poke me.
Okay.
They're betting 500.
Got it locked in.
The answer is...
This company is the developer and publisher
of Pokemon Go.
Guys, it's a Daily Double.
So I'd like to say
before I begin
something that I don't even have.
What is Niantic?
Say it again. I can't hear you.
Who is Niantic?
Bullshit!
There's a ruling on the field.
It's good!
By the way, it's Niantic
not Niantic.
It's hard when you work
at Teamwork.
EFF.
It was mostly
correct because I want the EF
to have more fucking money.
How about that? Fuck you!
Having fun yet, ref?
Okay.
You on the board there?
Let's take Pokemon again for 300.
Pokemon for 300.
Working it backwards.
The meaning to Pokemon Go players
are the terms XP, HP, and CP.
Team Tech Astronomers!
What are experience points,
hit points, and...
Two...
Downloading!
Downloading! Downloading!
Alright, that is not correct.
Middle team, what do you got?
What are experience points, hit points, and combat points?
No.
Not points.
The answer is not correct.
Take a look.
I might have to drink on this one,
but let's go ahead.
Anybody else want to give it a shot?
It is not correct.
Ref has ruled it is not correct.
One more out to the audience
if you can't get it.
Going once, going twice.
How about the lady in the front row
in red hair?
No.
Lady here.
You got it!
Experience points, health points,
and combat power.
Swag that lady.
And why do you know this?
Okay.
Well, yes, you don't deserve it,
but you're in control of the board.
Go!
Pick something.
I'll pick if you don't pick.
DEFCON Villages for $300.
DEFCON Villages for $300, you said?
Okay, tell us where you're most likely
to find these.
A CAN bus reader.
Yes.
What is the Car Hacking Village?
What is the Car Hacking Village for $300 is correct.
You got it.
All right, you're on the board.
What do you want?
DEFCON Villages for $400.
The answer is De-Sniffin' Ettercap.
Don't book me, mon.
Can you be more specific?
Oh, no.
Ref rules, that's not correct.
Over to the other two teams.
Going once.
Going twice.
Out to the person.
Let's get somebody farther.
Somebody on somebody's head.
Yeah, you can answer it.
What is the Packet Hacking Village?
It's technically...
No, it's not the Packet Hacking Village.
Incorrect.
What is the Packet Capture Village?
Yeah.
Come go visit these villages.
There's lots of cool stuff there.
DEFCON's about more than drinking and schwag.
Maybe not.
Out to the board here.
Yes, you're in control of the board.
What do you want?
Things that no one has at DEFCON for $400.
3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine
is better known as this.
What is MDNA?
That is correct.
What's in your wallet?
All righty.
You guys are...
Yeah, don't get roofied here.
All right, you're on the board.
What do you want?
Get that lady a beer. She needs a beer.
Now, now, now, now, now.
Oh, you got one. Okay. Good.
It's that bunny ears in the way.
Things no one has at DEFCON for $500.
Say again, please.
Things that no one has at DEFCON for $500.
The answer is,
it has a molar mass of 4,6.07,
boiling point 173 Fahrenheit,
excreted in urine, breath, perspiration, tears,
milk, saliva, and bile.
And something that nobody has...
What is sulfur?
What is what? Sulfur.
Sulfur is probably something that nobody has at DEFCON,
which, of course, is not the idea in this category,
so that's not correct.
Sulfur has a much higher boiling point.
Anybody who's ever made it in a laboratory.
Something that nobody has at DEFCON.
Not.
Guys.
You're thinking too hard.
No, they're not.
Gunning once.
Going twice.
Now, this is a 500-pointer,
so I've got a lot of people
waving at me.
We've got to pick somebody.
Going, going.
It's going to be...
Not sufficiently correct,
because that is a whole family of molecules.
The person having...
You've already got something.
What is...
Ethyl alcohol is correct,
or ethanol, or C2H5OH.
Come on, man.
A what?
Yeah, swag him.
Land turtle.
Land turtle!
You got some pretty cool swag there.
Okay, back onto the board.
CTEK.
We've got three categories left.
I'm so glad I'm getting hard of hearing.
All righty, come on, pick something.
CTEK.
Pokemon for one.
Pokemon for one.
The answer is, this is the most downloaded app in the first week ever.
What is Pokemon Go?
Unfortunately, you did not get the choice,
so it's to the middle team.
What is your question?
What is Pokemon Go?
Wow, what an inspired guess!
See, this guy suffers
from premature enunciation.
All right?
You're working here.
What do you want next?
You know what?
I think we'll take Pokemon for 200.
Pokemon for 200 to close it out.
The answer is,
this is the hump date
that Pokemon Go was released in the U.S.
Hump day?
Yes.
What is a Wednesday?
I'm looking for a date,
not a day of the week.
Can you be more specific?
I'll let you continue the answer.
Hump day!
Going once.
Mike, Mike, Mike, guess what day it is.
Guess what day it is!
When was July 5th?
Was July 5th is not a correct answer.
Other teams.
Going once.
Going twice.
July 5th was a Tuesday.
Out to the audience.
What the hell? I can't make it any easier.
This lady right here.
What is July 6th, 2016?
You got it, ma'am.
Swag that lady.
Okay, two categories left.
Defcon Villages and Call Me Maybe.
What do you want?
Yes, you're in control of the board.
How about Defcon Villages for $200?
Defcon Villages for $200.
The answer is...
Brakes, Diamond Tips, and Tension Wrenches.
What is Lockpicking Village?
What is Lockpicking Village is correct.
Lockpicking is close enough.
Back out to the board. What do you want?
Redemption.
$500. Same category, please.
Defcon Villages for $500.
The answer is Baby Monitors and Thermostats.
What is the Internet of Things Village?
What is the IoT Village is correct.
Wow, these guys are making a last minute comeback.
You are now within reach of the lead.
It may come down to beers.
Alright, what do you want?
Defcon Villages for $100, please.
Defcon Villages for $100.
The answer is Desoldering Braid and Breadboards.
What is the Hardware Hacking Village?
What is the Hardware Hacking Village?
Of course it is!
Well, we got two of the toughest questions left.
Call me maybe for $500.
Call me maybe for $500.
The answer is
3-1-G-3-5-0-1-2-5.
By the way, that was not my question.
Because I had no idea on this one either.
Never admitted, right?
Never confessed.
I know the answer is right. I looked it up.
Yeah, this is pretty obscure.
Going once.
Even Wynne Schwartau doesn't know it.
This is like a Wynne Schwartau question.
Things that nobody cares to know.
Going twice.
Anybody not using their
Internet look up for this.
See, that is a sucky question.
This is why I write all my own questions.
One person... Skydog, you know it?
Left bumper bracket part number
on a 76 Volvo.
It quite possibly is.
But the real answer is
what is Warsaw...
That was from Rudolf Hess' POW number.
The last one here is something
that you might recognize. Up for grabs.
Call me maybe for 400 points.
3-6-2-4-3-6-0.
Dun-dun-dun.
Dun-dun-dun.
They're not getting it. Everybody's getting it.
Alright, going once. Going twice.
This person having a conniption.
Dirty deeds.
Dun-dirt sheep.
Just call me.
3-6-2-4-3-6-0.
I'm by the phone.
All alone.
Alright, final jab.
We're going to start counting some beers.
MC's totaling the beers.
MC's selecting a category.
Well, that round, we generated $200.
What am I talking to my beer for?
We generated $200 for EFF.
Thank you very much.
Generosity to CTEK for that one.
You guys rock.
MC's selected a category.
Okay, bring your wife up here.
I'll give it to her.
Jade, let me know when we got some numbers in.
1-7.
Holy mackerel.
These guys need a free 12-step program.
I think you guys still have the record.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what we're going to do is we're going to total everything up.
We got the numbers in.
So let's see what we got to work with.
Not quite Reader's Digest.
It's going to be the final category.
Now, let's see how much we got to play with.
Don't poke me, Maude.
$500 in the hole.
$1,700.
What the hell?
Fucking suck it, bitch!
Yes.
$700 to drag a couple six-packs.
$1,900.
All right.
SeaTech astronomers lost the lead because of the drinking.
Only one six-pack among the three of them.
But what the hell?
You can still make it.
We've got a game!
Okay.
Strategize. Contemplate.
Meditate.
Urinate.
Whatever it is you got to do.
And then go ahead and give us the wager.
Your wager should be an integer.
A positive integer less than or equal to your amount of money.
These all seem like positive integers to me, boss.
That is correct.
Go ahead and send them down today.
We're going to lock them into the computer.
As soon as we've got those numbers locked in,
we're going to show you the final Hacker Jeopardy! question.
Reminder, your response
should be in the form of a question.
It doesn't have to be, but you will definitely lose
if it's not.
Wynn, what's your problem?
Type what is.
The response...
As I said, it doesn't have to be in the form of a question.
They can just get it wrong. They get no points for it.
Just saying.
Wynn, get back at your meds, dude.
Okay, this is not quite
Reader's Digest.
Alright, you got it locked in?
Okay, the answer is
the author of Penis Fairies
and Queef Storms,
a coloring book of awful things
that a lot of people recognize
that I need to know
this author.
30 seconds begin. Write down the response.
I don't need to look stuff up. I don't need to.
I've got to be on the internet.
By the way, it might be possible.
The author's here in the audience.
Somebody seems to know
what's going on.
Let's see what we've got real quick.
Okay, we've got the answers.
Dave's going to go ahead and lock in the responses.
We're going to see what they got.
So let's go ahead and start with the...
Oh, absolutely.
The Don't Pokey Mon.
Don't Pokey Mon.
1,200 points. They're in the game.
Unfortunately, they got it
wrong.
They said, who is Ron Jeremy?
That is not
the correct answer. How much did you wager?
1,000. You've got
200 left. You never know. You might
outmaneuver everybody else.
Let's see what Yes has.
Yes'
response is
http://penis.land
who is not the name of an author.
It may be, however, your
webcam site. I don't know.
And I am not going to take a look.
However, that is wrong.
How much did you wager?
All of it.
Oh!
Epic fail.
You've got nothing left.
C-Tech Astronomers, the guy with his
feet up, who says he has absolutely no
clue. The lady there decides to write down
the answer. What is she saying?
What is Matthew Inman, the
author of The Oatmeal?
Which is correct. What did you bet?
201.
1,901 points. You won it.
You got it.
We're going to go
on to the final Hacker Jeopardy.
We're going to reset the stage.
You guys get a chance to bump
bilges. Within 10 minutes
we'll be starting. Stick around. We're going to have more
swag that we're sending out. Don't leave.
By the way, the big party is going to start
after Hacker Jeopardy game 2.
So we're all going to go from here over there.
But you're all good for it. So stick around.
We're resetting the board.
Yeah, for this one. Security University.
Thank you, Sandra. We're giving beer koozies
to everybody here who's playing final Hacker Jeopardy.
And now,
the moment you've been
waiting for. The culmination
of 22 years of Hacker Jeopardy.
We have Hacker Jeopardy
finals.
The winner from last night.
Team number 1.
We fucked it up.
Come on down. Sit in the first seat.
Substitution
on the field
for Dan Kaminski,
one of the founding members
of
B-Sides, a former
Vanna, the lovely
Banshee.
I am not a founding
member of B-Sides. I am, however,
the executive producer.
Thank you for that correction.
That's team 1.
Team number 2 in the blue.
Pucifer 3.0, a winner from last night.
Let's get these old men up here.
Do these guys look
like feds or what?
All righty.
Team number 3. Hopefully they had a chance
to do a quick pump and dump.
SeaTech, astronomers,
get back up here.
And
team number 4.
A three-time defending
champion
who featured an amazing
substitution last year
in the Rock'em Sock'em Robot contest,
Wynn Schwartau himself.
But Wynn will be substituted out
for that. Instead, we're gonna have
you, Hackajar?
Dude, you still owe me 20 bucks.
Get your asses up here!
Wynn job!
You gotta keep an eye on this guy. He cheats.
But they're good.
Okay. Remember the rules.
We're gonna ask that you give us a category
and a dollar amount.
Correct answers
have to be in the form of a question.
You get it right, you get the points.
You get it wrong, you lose the points.
Double Jeopardy. You can either go ahead
and make us pay 100 bucks to EFF
and we're good for it. We got cash here.
Or you can satisfy your own urges.
Any questions?
Are we ready on the left?
Are we ready on the right?
Are we ready on the
firing line? It's time to begin!
Final
Hacker Jeopardy!
Okay, all the way down the end
we fucked it up.
You guys are gonna need to go ahead and engage.
We fucked it up.
You control the board.
Pick a category.
Pick a mountain category.
CISSP for 100.
Are you smarter than a CISSP
for 100?
The answer is
the number of
bytes in an AES-256 key.
Okay.
Pucifer.
Pucifer.
He's still counting.
Put that thing back in your pants.
What is 32?
What is 32 is correct.
Nice start. You own the board.
What do you want to do with it?
Are you smarter than a CISSP
for 200, please?
By the way, just as a poll, who here on the stage
has a CISSP?
Alright, look at that.
What a waste of money.
Okay, 200 points. Are you smarter than a CISSP?
The answer is
when a duplicate copy of all data is written to another disk
or set of disks.
CTEK.
What is a backup?
What is a backup is not the CISSP answer.
So no, you don't get credit for that.
I'm smarter than a CISSP.
That is an assertion.
Alright, other three teams.
Duplicate copy of all data written to another disk.
It probably was on your exam.
Go in once.
Go in...
Okay, we fucked it up at the end. What do you want?
What is a mirror?
What is a mirror is not the type of answer
you'd see on a CISSP exam.
Okay, it's what you play with yourself in front of.
Now, another two teams.
Go in once.
Hey, we've got actually a pretty cool hoodie.
Is that for the audience?
And this is a secure ninja
has donated a pretty cool hoodie here.
So if you're like a 4X,
don't try to answer, it won't fit.
Go in once.
Go in twice.
Out to the audience, and we've got somebody
in the black that's like 9 foot tall.
What is RAID 1?
RAID 1 is correct.
RAID level 1 is correct.
All data written on the desk.
Okay, mirroring or striping, RAID 0.
You do both, you get RAID 1, 0.
Back to the board, are you smarter than CISSP?
Lucifer, what do you want?
Baby goon for 100.
Baby goon for 100.
This is a photograph category.
We're going to show you one of the goons.
You tell us the name or the handle.
For 100 points,
let's take a look.
The name or handle of this goon.
It actually looks like him still.
CTEC.
Who is priest?
Who is priest is not correct.
This baby is under 7 foot tall.
Can we go back to the picture?
Is it able to show the picture?
Come on, think about it.
Are you here, by the way?
It's kind of an adorable goon.
Yeah, adorable goon.
I just talked to him a couple of minutes ago before the game.
Go in once.
He has anger management problems, according to everybody else.
But that's a qualifier for security goon.
Go in twice.
No, to the audience, the lady back there.
No.
He's not the ref, he's not a goon.
Gentleman standing up with a black shirt.
I can't hear you, say again.
Can anybody hear what he's saying?
I'm not hearing that.
Okay, one last time.
No, it's not Quig.
Alright, we're out of time.
It's Decode.
Thank you for the goons, by the way, who responded with your photographs.
Alright, back to the board.
Pucifer, 3.0, you own it.
What do you want?
George Carlin for 100, please.
George Carlin for 100.
We're going to tell you what George is describing.
You tell us what the proper answer would be.
The answer is...
The bald-headed mouse, hairy hot dog,
the blue-veined meat roll,
and the one-eyed nightcrawler in the turtleneck sweater.
What's he talking about, Pucifer?
What's a penis?
What is a penis is correct, for 100 points.
He's wondered that for a while.
Gotta love the late George Carlin.
He had some interesting way with words.
Go back.
Carlin for 200, please.
George Carlin for 200.
The answer is snuggle pups, mount of lilies,
skin sacks, and big brown eyes.
Pucifer.
What are boobs?
That is not the technical term.
What are...
Setek, remember I said the proper term.
What are breasts?
Setek, what do you want?
What are breasts?
What are breasts is correct.
Boobs would be another one of the list
of synonyms.
Okay, so just because
some of you guys have never seen one before
doesn't mean you have to know it.
Buy a drink once in a while.
Okay,
the boobs, you got it wrong,
but Setek, you're on the board, what do you want?
Carlin for three.
George Carlin for 300.
The house under the hill, the fish tank,
the woolly burger, and mom's homemade
slit pie.
Hey, this is George Carlin.
What is vagina?
Now you know your parts.
Okay, he's got that one.
Well done.
Back to the board.
Bale coin for 100 please.
Bale coin
for 100.
Oh yeah.
Rub that thing.
The answer is
about 650,000
bitcoins were stolen from this Japan-based
exchange in 2014. Setek,
who is Mt. Gox? What is Mt. Gox
is correct. Anybody lose stuff in that
one? You fucked it up,
okay? You shouldn't have trusted them.
All right, you're on the board, what do you want?
Bale coin for two. Say again?
Bale coin for 200.
The answer is, last month this cryptocurrency
violated its own prime directive
and resulted in these two species.
I need to know the names or the symbols.
What is Coinbase?
What is Coinbase is not the name of the cryptocurrency.
That's not correct.
Setek Astronomers.
What is Ethereum and Ethereum Classic?
I will
give you that. Ethereum Classic and Ethereum
or Ethereum Hard Fork. Yeah, Ethereum Split.
Reminds you of New Coke, right?
The new has got to be better than the old.
Again, interesting how that all
worked out. Go ahead.
Bale coin for three.
Bale coin for 300. The answer is
the first daily double.
Okay, first of all
look at the numbers you got. How much do you want to wager?
Let's go for two.
You are going to vote for two.
Do you want us to go ahead and put a hundred bucks in if you get it right?
Or do you want to go ahead and play with your
play with your banner?
Put in a hundred.
A hundred bucks out of a staff if you get it right.
E-F-F!
E-F-F!
E-F-F!
Alrighty, let's see what we got.
So they are going to wager 200.
The answer is, this entity was hacked
for 53 million dollars of Ether
on the 17th of June, 2016.
What is
the DAO?
What is the DAO is correct.
The Decentralized Autonomous
Organization.
Bale coin for four.
Another hundred bucks.
Alright.
SeaTech Astronomers, you got
control of the board.
Bale coin for four.
Bale coin for 400.
Stand by, the answer is
119,756
Bitcoins were stolen Tuesday from this
Hong Kong based exchange.
See who is current on your news.
It was on an airplane.
Yeah, she stole them, right?
No, I know you didn't know that.
Who has been on the
Wi-Fi? Yeah, come on, really?
You don't know about this? This is like a massive
hack on Bitcoin. It caused the price to
die.
Who did it? Anybody out here do it?
You get extra points if you're the guy who did it.
I got a guy jumping around with a let-up badge.
So after you guys, but after going
once and going twice.
And the guy with the blinking badge and the white
shirt.
Yeah, what is Bitfinex is correct.
Go ahead and swag that dude.
Bitfinex, serious, serious
hack.
Another
coin fail.
Fail coin for five?
Say again, please. Fail coin
for five. Fail coin for five.
The answer is
described on Steemit as, quote,
the worst altcoin I've ever
found. It's got a 7%
transaction fee. It's infinitely
inflatable, not backed by any
proof-of-work or stake. Transaction
has to be as long as three days. Coins are earned on an arbitrary
basis under the supervision of a third party
that can take a variable rate of up to
40%. The wallet is frequently stolen with
no chance of tracking or recovery.
How big is that font? What is that
worst altcoin ever?
What is DogeCoin?
Say again? What is
DogeCoin? What is DogeCoin
is not correct.
Although it is down pretty far, but
it doesn't take a 40% take on
the variable rate.
It's not Doge. Come on, what is this
coin?
I'll give you a hint.
We're screwing with you.
Going once.
Pucifer.
What is Defcon coin?
What is Defcoin or Defcon coin
is not correct.
You are screwing with us.
Going once.
Going twice.
Man, I look like I'm in a Madonna
concert, all these people out here waving.
And out to
the audience.
No.
Nope.
Yes, what is the U.S.
dollar?
Put the question back
up there, Dave, so they can see, okay, we're done.
7% transaction
fee. There's your social security.
Transaction times for three days.
Okay, you own the board there, CTEK.
That was actually a cool question.
Your EFF and right
for 100.
Thanks to the EFF for these
questions. Hey, give them some
money. After we're done with the game, you want to contribute,
you're welcome to add to our kitty, but
we're going to make good on all this stuff for the EFF.
EFF and right
for 100. The answer is this infamous law
created section 1201 of the Copyright Act
including anti-circumvision provision
that protects digital rights media
or DRM.
We fucked it up. What is it?
What is the DMCA?
Yeah, what is the Digital Millennium Copyright Act?
And EFF just sued the U.S. government
to overturn that two weeks ago.
Same category
for two. Alrighty, you own the board there.
What do you want?
Same category, 200.
Okay, EFF and right for 200.
United States versus worry.
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled under the Fourth
Amendment police need a warrant before searching
these devices. CTEK?
What are cellular telephones? What are cellular telephones?
Cellular mobile phones is correct.
And that was a really big deal
because the Supreme Court said
that's no longer considered in plain sight.
Thank you EFF.
Thank you EFF.
EFF for three.
F and right for 300.
The answer is this trade agreement
will result in an estimated $55 million
annual cost to extend copyrights in New Zealand.
Pucifer?
What is the
Trans-Pacific Partnership?
That's correct for 300 points.
Alright, you own it. What do you want?
EFF for 400, please.
F and right for 400. The answer is
the Daily Double again.
Okay, what's your wager?
Up to 500.
It's government money.
It's free.
What's your wager, Jeremy?
500.
500 a wager.
Are you playing for us
to put money in or are you going to play with the ladies?
What would you rather have?
It's their category. We better put the money in.
Cash for EFF. You got it.
EFF.
EFF.
EFF.
Let's see what the answer is.
The common name for this 1990s
chipset developed and promoted by the NSA
is an encryption device with a built-in
backdoor.
Go
fuck it up.
Go in once.
Go in
twice.
What is...
Talk into the microphone.
I can't hear you.
Go in
three times. Time's up. Sorry.
Okay.
Buddy ears, you've already got one.
How about the person
way in the back. Jumping, jumping, jumping.
Yeah, that's you.
Yeah, what is a clipper chip?
Everybody said it at the same time.
The evil
clipper chip. Sorry, gentlemen.
I thought that would have been
straightforward.
Okay.
After you're done receiving your punishment,
they want
extra beatings. Don't slow the game
down. Come on. Pussiver, you got it on the board.
What do you want?
Ah, rats.
F and right for 500, please.
F and right for 500. What the hell?
Go back to something you know nothing about? But maybe you do.
In the FBI versus
Apple case, the San Bernardino
District Attorney argued that this iPhone
in question might contain this nasty-sounding
passive threat. We fucked it up.
What was the term that they used?
What is a dormant cyberpathogen?
I will take that.
What is a lying dormant cyberpathogen
for 500 points?
Well done!
All righty.
Beefcake.
Okay, what
would you like? You got the board.
Just a second. I don't think
Banshee's button is working. I can't hear you.
Oh, I don't think Banshee's button is working.
She smacked it three times.
Smack it. Do a test, Dave.
Stand by. We're going to do a test.
Keep the game going.
Smack the guy next to you.
What do you want? What category?
Okay, then give us some virgins
for 100. Hobbies for virgins
for 100.
See how many of you practice
these hobbies. The answer is
the Morse code requirements
for this hobby were removed from the technician
class license in 1991.
We fucked it up. What's the answer?
What is a ham operator's license?
Right. What is ham amateur radio
for 100?
Hey, Kahuna, you here?
Alright, let's keep rolling. Pick another
category.
Hobbies for virgins
for 200. Something that some of these people
know a lot about. The answer is
E-League is a TV series on TBS
following the competitions of this
quote-unquote sport.
What are video games?
What are...
What is League of Legends?
You said video games.
What are video games? It's actually
okay. We've got that as an alternative. We'll
take that. Counter-Strike Global
Offensive are video game playing.
Seriously, some people are hoping
that's going to make it as an Olympic sport.
We've really gone downhill when that
happens. Okay, you own the board. What do you want?
I'm most familiar with Hobbies for Virgins
300. I think you know something about Hobbies
for Virgins. The answer is
the five basic lands of this
game are Forest, Swamp, Plains,
Island, and Mountain.
Every hand in the house is going
up. CTEK,
you got in first. What's your
answer?
What is...
Hang on. What is Settlers
of Catan?
No!
Windjob!
What is...
What is...
Magic the Gathering?
What is Magic the Gathering?
We know something, bitches!
I like the poster.
I got a killer
Tomargoy's deck at home.
Killer deck at home.
Okay, but you're married and you got a very
beautiful wife.
Okay, you guys,
surprisingly enough, own the board.
What are you going to do with it?
More hobbies for
virgins. More hobbies for
virgins. The answer is...
A Daily Double!
300.
Okay, they're
only going to bet 300 because they're...
well...
I guess they're virgins.
So you're going to bet 300.
What are you going to do for the EFF?
Are you going to help them out or are you going to just go ahead
and not?
No, if you get
it right...
Oh, you want ladies? You don't want to help the EFF?
He's saying the EFF already has
enough money. He wants to play with the ladies.
What is Jimmy going to
say about that?
Oh!
Oh, boo-hoo!
All righty, well...
We give them a choice.
$100!
What is this? Save the whales?
$100! And also $100
for this gentleman. We've got $200
riding on this one if you get it right.
There we go. All right.
Even though you don't want to help, other
people do.
Bastard.
Okay.
The answer is this.
The type of activity being
engaged in here.
Let's see if our video works.
What is
LARPing?
What is LARPing?
I'll take that. Live action
role-playing!
$200
for the EFF.
Shit, we're still in control?
Oh yeah, we get to take something off the ladies.
Wait, ref's got something.
Hey, we didn't
say who's clothing you got.
Put it on Hagajar's head.
We got it right!
I think I'm going to be sick.
This is your
reward.
Hey, all's fair.
Equal opportunity
offenders.
You guys own the board. What do you want?
Virgins for $500.
Virgins for $500.
The answer is
this game uses to hit armor
class zero to calculate if a hit
succeeds. We fucked it up.
What is Dungeons & Dragons?
Yeah, what is Dungeons & Dragons?
D&D.
Alrighty, we got three
categories left. Are you smarter than the
CSSB? George Carlin and Baby Goon. What do you want?
I'm going to take some George Carlin for $400.
George Carlin for $400.
The answer is
shot in the giblets, stung
by a serpent, full of hair.
And up the stick.
What is kicked in the testicles?
What is kicked in the testicles
is not correct.
What is sexual
intercourse?
What is sexual intercourse is technically no.
This is not what George is describing.
It is the result, perhaps, of that,
but it is not the act.
Going
once.
Going twice.
Alright.
Oh,
Lucifer.
Yeah, he got it
in time. What is pregnant?
Yeah, what is pregnant are pregnancies.
That's a reasonable
result of sexual intercourse.
Well done.
Alright, Lucifer.
You're back up to zero. What do you want to do?
CISSP for $300, please.
CISSP for $300.
Hourly rate.
What?
$300 is usually their hourly rate.
$300 is their hourly rate
for the CISSPs.
The most common mode of DES operation
that XORs each block with the ciphertext
of the preceding block.
What is electronic codebook mode?
No! ESECB does not
chain. CTEK.
What is CBC? What is cipherblock
chaining is correct.
Electronic codebook does
every single 64-bit section
in the same code. That way you can see
repeating patterns in the ciphertext.
This gets rid of that. I teach cryptography.
I guess you don't teach it
very well.
Am I
smarter than a CISSP for $400?
Are you smarter than a CISSP for
$400?
The answer is, information of
this classification could cause
serious damage to national
security. CTEK.
What is top secret?
What is top secret is not correct.
What is GMark's mom?
That would be grave damage
to national security.
We bucked it up.
You rung in. What do you think?
What is secret? What is secret is correct
for 400 points.
All righty.
You've got the board.
What do you want?
Let's take CISSP for $500.
CISSP for $500. Good luck with this one.
Fences of this height
with three-strand barbed wire
required to deter, quote, more determined
intruders.
Looking for a height.
It's a
CISSP question. I used to teach
CISSP.
All righty. CTEK.
Desperation gas.
10 feet. Not in the form of a question.
You fucked it up.
We fucked it up. What do you got?
What is 10 feet?
Say it again. I can't hear you.
What is 10 feet?
What is 10 feet is wrong!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
We fucked it up!
Okay. Anybody else?
Two remaining teams.
Okay.
This is going to be for the Wi-Fi Pineapple.
I'm going to let the ref
decide who's going to pick. There's a lot of people
out there. We're not going to throw it.
Okay.
Hey, me, go pick somebody.
You go pick somebody.
Tell me who you're going to pick.
Hurry up. Run, run, run, run, run.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Okay. Let's hear the answer out there.
All right.
Me, pick another.
Me's going all the way to the back of the room.
What's the answer?
All right.
Looks like I got a winner. What is 8 feet?
Congratulations to Wi-Fi Pineapple.
That's an awesome award. It's worth about
99 bucks.
Do you actually have a CISSP
or did you just pull that number out of an orifice?
It's been a long time.
You're back orifice. Got it. Okay.
That category's full up.
Got two categories left.
Come on, guys. We got two guys in the black,
but one guy are drinking like a bat out of hell.
It's in the back.
What do you want?
We fucked it up. You own the board.
What do you want?
Carlin for 5.
George Carlin for 5.
Again, you have to give an answer
that would describe the term correctly
like you're using
proper language. You can't use
another term.
The answer is
making some soup.
Tickle the taco with a two-fingered taco.
We fucked it up.
What do you got?
What is masturbation?
Can you be more specific in terms of gender?
What is finger-banging a female?
What is female masturbation?
All right.
What is female masturbation?
Would you like to see an example?
Would you like to see the...
Female masturbation.
What is this?
That is not masturbation.
I think we're going to end up having this question thrown out.
All right.
We're going to have to throw that question out.
All he asked for was gender.
He asked what is masturbation.
He asked for gender.
The first one he heard was female.
That completed the sequence.
As far as I'm concerned, they got the answer.
Okay.
You go in the category.
One category left.
It's a photo category of baby goon.
What do you want?
Goons for two.
The name or the handle of this goon.
We fucked it up.
Who is dead addict?
Who is dead addict is not correct.
He doesn't have the little gold orb with him.
I'll give you a hint.
They don't have a soul.
He's in the room.
I'll give you another hint.
He's in the front row, dammit.
Come on, pussies, try.
Pussies, pussies.
How many goon badges
are you seeing in the front row?
Go in once.
Go in twice.
Screw you, G-Mark.
Charlie, who is that?
It's her husband,
Blackdays, yeah.
What's that look like?
When did Blackdays
not have a fucking soul?
Hey,
someday you'll have kids.
They'll be ugly like you.
That's like some Sears
shit right there.
Okay, then let's try the next one.
Maybe it'll be good. Take a look at it.
Okay, we'll take ugly children for three.
Baby goons for three hundred.
The name or handle
of this goon.
That's a pretty good clue in there.
What the fuck is it with soulless gingers?
Come on.
I'm not falling for this trap.
Check the hair color.
Go in once.
Go in twice.
I thought this would have done better.
Alright.
This category sucks.
It does, apparently. We won't do it again.
You're goddamn right!
Who is...
Let's take a look. Red beard.
That's what he looked like
before the beard.
Four hundred points, I guess, for baby goon.
Maybe you recognize this dude.
The name or handle of this goon.
The one in the middle.
I love how there's an arrow.
I suspect
that's the seventies.
Yeah, that's the one in the middle.
Way to single this person out.
She's a clone of dad.
Well, just in case you're sort of confused
about which baby there was.
Alright.
That's not working. Go in once.
Go in twice.
You can't even tell by the arrow.
Okay, screw it. The answer is...
Who is Russ Rogers?
No!
Oh, seriously?
Alright, you guys have actually got a shot at this one.
Wow, that's fucked up.
This one ought to be recognizable.
Baby goon for five hundred.
The name or handle of this goon.
SeaTac astronomers.
Who is priest?
Who is quig is not correct.
Put it back up on the screen.
Priest. Priest. Priest.
Who is priest is not correct either.
Put the picture back up.
The one on the left, by the way.
Not the one on the right.
Are you sure?
Come on.
It says the one on the left.
I didn't need to put an arrow. I put text in there.
I'll give you another hint.
Sitting in the front row.
Come on, guys.
Five hundred points can help a lot.
No longer sitting in the front row.
We fucked it up.
Who is Wynn Schwartau?
Who is Wynn Schwartau is correct.
Thank you, Shara, for sending the photograph.
Sorry, Wynn.
Get ready for final Hacker Jeopardy.
We're going to total up the beers.
We're going to see how well we did.
As soon as we do, we're going to celebrate.
Then, of course, we've got a party next door.
We've got to go down around the back again.
But we're going to figure out what we've got.
A ton of beers over here. That's what these guys do.
They don't say much, but they drink like fish.
Hey, save me a beer back there.
I need one.
Oh!
Come on!
Denial of service on the beer count.
Can we get a beer handicap?
We played last year.
You guys have a lot to learn
about female masturbation
for what it's worth.
Seriously!
Okay.
I've still got some nice little lockpick sets
along with clear
pickable locks
from the folks.
Let's get these out to some folks.
I want you to get loud.
I have a talk at
two o'clock tomorrow.
Try to
get loud.
Listen, don't apply to anyone else.
Thank you, Winshore.
Another $100 to the EFF.
Alright, we've got $600
for the EFF.
Plus, anybody else who wants
to contribute, come on.
We'll put 100% into the kitty.
Give it till it hurts, motherfuckers!
Give it till it hurts!
EFF! Get your ass up here, motherfuckers!
I drank 10 beers.
Get your ass up here!
$100 more for EFF.
Thank you.
$40 for EFF.
$20 for EFF.
Get your lockpick set.
$100 for EFF.
Here we go.
Okay, announcing the category real quick.
We all have money coming in. The candle category is
Wetnorking!
Sit your asses
down!
Okay, Wetnorking.
We're gonna show the category.
So, can you guys like do math and shit
or what?
Okay, gotta make sure all this shit goes to EFF.
Okay, Wetnorking.
I need you to go ahead
and write T.
Okay, this gentleman is donating $100 to EFF.
He wants to show off his bling.
Step forward. Look at that bling boy.
Well done. Thank you, EFF.
By the way, it looks like
we got well over a thousand bucks here.
100% goes to EFF.
Thank you very much for those that contributed.
I still got swag up here.
We do good things for good causes.
We fucked it up. We're missing a team.
You were below zero?
Uh-oh.
Less than zero in the final.
In spite of your drinking.
But thank you very much for playing.
We had a great game.
Okay.
So, let's take a look at the things.
We fucked it up. We got 3,000.
Pucifer, 1,400.
Windjob, 2,400. Definitely got a game here.
Because with the two of the high,
Pucifer, you still got a shot
if these guys bet high
and get it wrong.
Okay.
Dave, should we feel
ready to go?
We need wagers.
We need your wagers in writing.
Write down your wager.
A non-negative
integer not to exceed
the value that you have in the bank.
We're gonna find
this one out. This ought to be pretty good, folks.
This is for all the marbles.
Windjob, you're gonna have
to do something on this one.
You can't just rest on your beer bottles.
Let me know, Dave,
you got the wagers in?
We're adding the wagers in.
Couple more typing.
And we got
the wagers in.
So, I need you to write down
your response. I recommend it be
in the form of a question.
Doesn't have to be, but you get no points if it's not.
Are you ready?
So, Wetnorking,
the final answer is
in alphabetical order
the names of the OSI layers
that correspond to prime numbers.
Oh, you gotta think on this one.
Everybody remembers your stack, right?
Seven layer stack.
What's layer eight, by the way?
Politics.
Number nine is money.
You stupid motherfucker!
Okay, alphabetical order.
The names of the OSI
layers model that
correspond to prime numbers.
Whoa!
For EFF.
Got a little bit of feedback on the board here.
Thank you.
Alright, we're getting those answers
down. Takes a little bit of extra time.
I know you gotta write more than one
thing in here.
We're gonna check and see
whether you were paying attention in networking class.
Okay.
In alphabetical order.
Four.
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do
How are we doing on answers there,
ladies and gentlemen?
It's final, final Hacker Jeopardy.
Ain't supposed to be easy.
We got it.
You are beautiful.
You are beautiful.
Alright, I got three out of four okay.
How's everyone doing tonight?
Y'all having
fun?
You better be!
Hey, who out here has a talk
at two o'clock p.m. tomorrow
in track two? Raise your hand.
I still
haven't finished my slides.
Let me hear you!
Let me hear you, motherfuckers!
I'm sorry, I couldn't speak.
Okay, we've got some
answers.
Now, of course, the question
was this. In alphabetical order,
the names of the OSI layers
that correspond to prime
numbers.
What's the lowest prime
number?
Two, correct. One is not a
prime number.
What's the next one? Three.
What's the next one? Five.
What's the next one? Seven.
Alright, we're looking for
two, three, five, and seven in alphabetical
order. Let's see what we got.
It says
the name of the winner will be permanently written
to the blockchain for Hacker Jeopardy
for 2016.
Thank you very much. You'll live forever
in infamy. So let's start a look
with WeFuckedItUp. Their answer
is, what is A-L-P-P?
I understand if you don't have a clue, but that's like seriously
wrong. Nothing. What did you
wager?
$5.99. Okay, so you
still got something left.
Let's take a look at
Winjob. What is
three network,
one physical, which is not a prime
number, seven presentation, five
session. You left out number two.
So therefore, that's wrong as well.
I appreciate the
rude comment at the bottom, but I'm not
going to share it with the audience.
Hey!
Same to your mother.
Pucifer 3.0.
What is
seven application?
Correct. Two.
Datalink. Correct.
Three.
Network layer. Correct.
And then, four.
The physical layer of number one. One is
not a prime number. Five is session.
You injected
a non-prime number.
The definition of a prime
number is that it has a very
specific meaning. It's a unique
sequence of products of
primes.
So let's see
what the scores are.
We fucked it up!
Woo! Defeated
Winjob!
We have a brand new
Hacker Jeopardy! champion!
In case anybody...
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed
the show. This was awesome.
If you want to play next year, please do so.
We have sign-ups and things like that.
Learn your stuff. Know your networking.
It's a decent game. Thank you. We have over
$1,000 in cash
for EFF. We're going to donate that
first thing in the morning. Go enjoy
the parties. Black and White Ball next door.
We have some great DJs.
We'll be partying with you. Thank you very much.
Have a good night.