All right, out to the audience.
Let's figure out some questions.
Now you've got to earn them tonight, guys.
Okay, out to the audience.
A T-Mobile shutdown of e-mail and other mobile services for more than a week
was caused by this company who owned Sidekick.
Yeah, what do you got?
You just reached your hand.
You don't have no idea.
What?
Not in the form of a question.
Yeah, I was still wrong anyway.
Nice try, though.
Hey, wait a minute.
Where are the DEF CON folks?
All right, I've got translators with nobody here yet.
Okay.
No, it's still the wrong answer.
It's what is Microsoft?
The one video we all love to hate.
Oh, let's try again.
Google, after a four-day outage and lost a customer,
Gmail data had to resort to this technology to restore their accounts.
The category is Cloudburst.
No.
What is SMS?
That is not SMS.
No, they're not going to restore the entire Gmail database from that.
What is MySQL?
MySQL is not correct.
One more.
Yeah, you guys desperately need this.
It's a physical tape backups.
What you got?
Don't fuck it up.
Fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Lockpicking101.com.
We've got all kinds of cool swag for you.
Obey the ref.
Here comes the bouncy balls.
Keep them away from the electronics, please.
You've got to pay a ton of money for it.
You've got to keep them caught in there.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
I don't know what they call it normally infishball.
We've got some cool sports we're planning to extend.
Yeah, cantina relay некwupenson.
The event was shakespeare.
Get it?
Thank you.
Okay.
Okay, a ton of swag up here.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, we got, let's go ahead and grab a seat.
We're going to get ready soon.
Starting in about two minutes.
A couple out to the audience.
Acronyms.
S-T-E, Sierra Tango Echo.
What does that stand for?
Nobody.
No feds out here?
This is horrible.
No feds?
How's my gain on my microphone?
I really got to be on top of this.
I got to be eating this microphone to get the gain.
Can you boost me a little bit on the boost panel?
How about now?
Hey, who's working the, there we go.
Thank you very much.
Okay, we got some great swag again tonight.
When we get out to the audience questions,
we got everything from lock pick sets to Wi-Fi pineapples.
Oh, he likes it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hey, anybody need a lock pick set?
Okay.
Okay, wrap.
They're not going to throw very well.
Lock pick. There you go.
Johnny Appleseed
to the lock pick world.
Figured.
Okay, how are we doing? Come on, they're pouring in.
Keep con coming. We're going to be starting
up in just a couple minutes, so.
We got Hacker Jeopardy.
We got winners from last night.
Here comes me.
Come on, me. What you got?
Oyonga!
Right in the back of the screen.
You're the one of those guys.
Look at them guys.
Oh, y'all.
We about ready to roll?
Okay, ready on the left?
Ready on the right?
Ready on the firing line?
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's time for
Hacker Jeopardy!
And I'll introduce you to our cast members.
The founder of MohawkCon,
Edward.
Come on, Ed. Come on down.
Our Vanna Vinyl, who got tossed out
or got in trouble in first grade
for hacking the computer systems
and now runs an internet company.
Vanna Vinyl!
Another lady who's here to help out.
Our beautiful, lovely Sophie.
Sophie!
And our beer Betty.
The lady who had a lot to do
in involvement with the start of Bitcoin
and alt currencies.
The new win.
And, of course,
the audience favorite,
the one you love to hate,
the ref!
Fuck everybody!
Hacker Jeopardy!
It's gonna be huge!
You're gonna love all our clues.
We've got the best clues.
It's gonna be huge.
All righty.
So, hey, welcome there.
I drink and I know things.
Awesome shirt.
Me, what you got?
Yeah, let's keep those things away from the stage.
So, we had trials today.
They went this morning.
I had to give up one hour and six minutes
to a couple of congressmen, which we're happy to do.
They were doing the interviews and the discussions out there,
which is really great for DEF CON.
Bringing in our elected representatives
to talk about security.
So, that was fine,
but we still had a number of qualified teams
that submitted, a ton of them.
The first team that we'd like to offer a sleep to,
if you're here, you gotta be here.
Don't poke me now!
You hear?
Yeah, come on down!
Don't poke me now!
What are you, come on!
Get your ass down here!
Move it!
Up!
Up!
Up!
Up!
Up!
OK, we got IDU, sorry, Nevada law.
The second team.
Incoming!
I thought we'd, no, that's right, these guys did.
Yeah, change shelter route, minus S slant, user bin yes.
You got it?
You made it!
Four out of five right in the trials.
These guys rocked it.
They blew the number five, so they're in.
Team number two, check your ID's.
Number three.
Sea tech astronomers, are you here?
All righty.
The other thing, when you drink a beer, before it's done, you've got to hold it upside down
over your head.
As you do that, put it in a straight line across the front, so it can count it easily.
Honorable mention to Dank Horse, who came in fourth.
Of course, that's worth nothing around here.
Whatever you don't finish on your own.
Okay, so I've got sea tech closest to me.
I'm going to call you Chirrut there in the middle, and don't poke me down at the end.
So as you all know, here are the rules.
We're going to serve you beers.
Do not start drinking beer until I say go, all right?
Otherwise, I don't count.
You can put beers in front of them, but they don't count until I say go.
You'll select a category and a dollar amount.
All answers must be in the form of a question.
If you get it wrong, you'll lose the points.
Daily double, we've got something for you.
Traditionally, what we've done for daily double, of course, is you get to do your own
interaction with Vanna.
We're going to one-up on that.
Okay.
So the ref, Dave, and I are going to give an alternative.
If you win a daily double, pay attention down here, damn it.
If you win a daily double, you can make us instead give $100 to the EFF, and we'll all
chip in out of our own pockets to make that happen.
So that's the alternative.
If you love EFF, select that as your award, and we'll pay it out of our own pocket because
we believe in what's going on.
Okay.
Are we ready to go?
You understand the rules.
Ready on the game?
Okay.
Let's get them rolling in.
Let's get those beers on the table.
Don't poke me, man, is going to be in charge of the board.
Yeah, remember, we couldn't afford the license for that noise, so we have to make it ourselves.
Ah, damn it.
Wait, we're having a problem with the beer distribution unit.
Let's go, go, go, go, go.
Okay.
What do you got?
Start the game.
Poke Morgan 500.
Pokey Moron for 500.
Whoa.
All righty.
The answer is the number of different Pokemons cataloged in the first Pokedex series.
Who the hell is yes?
The guys in the middle?
All right, yes.
What you got?
151.
Not in the form of a question.
What is?
SeaTac astronomers.
What is 151?
Did I do something wrong?
I mean, first of all, why the hell do you even know that?
But SeaTek astronomers trying to capitalize on the errors have said what?
What is 151?
What is 151 is correct for 500 points.
All right.
That's good.
SeaTek, you're in control of the board.
Jeopardy for 100.
Jeopardy for 100.
The answer is The Creator of Jeopardy.
SeaTek astronomers?
Who is Merv Griffin?
Who is Merv Griffin is correct.
Probably rolling in his grave at what we're doing to this game.
Jeopardy for 2.
Jeopardy for 2.
The answer is he won 74 games on Jeopardy earning $3.422 million in total.
SeaTek astronomers?
Who is Ken Jennings?
Who is Ken Jennings is correct.
Wow.
We got some players here.
See what happens when you put women on the team?
All right.
Go for it.
Jeopardy for 3.
Jeopardy for 300.
The answer is the composer of the theme music to Jeopardy.
Win Schwartau knows, he was there.
In 1890-something?
You got to ring in.
Nice.
Come on.
It's trivial, but it's not that trivial.
Look at Win.
It looks like Dr. Strangelove over there.
He's trying to put his arm to sleep.
Going once.
Going twice.
It's a 300-pointer.
so I got a USB rubber ducky for somebody who knows the answer out here.
What do you got?
No, you keep Googling stuff.
I saw you yesterday doing that.
You're disqualified.
No cheating.
All right, who is that?
Who is Merv Griffin?
Yeah, give the guy in the green shirt.
Rubber ducky time.
Not the inflatable one in the bathtub.
See, tech astronomers, you own the board.
Jeopardy for four.
Jeopardy for 400.
You didn't know that?
You think you can do better.
Composed by Merv Griffin.
The name of the song played during the 30-second period in Final Jeopardy.
This is going to be worth a transparent lock where you can go ahead and test your keys and things like that.
These are from the bump key folks.
They're not going to be tossed out.
They're going to hand them to you.
Go in once.
Go in twice.
There goes an I.
And come on, out to the audience.
Guy raising his hand over there.
What's the answer?
No, what is Final Jeopardy?
It's not the name of the song.
Not quite.
Not in the form of a question.
Yeah, what is think?
He got it.
Guys, this isn't tough.
There's a reason you're not up on stage.
Okay.
Hey, it's all about it.
We're equal opportunity offenders here.
All right.
Not that you deserve it, but you guys still on the board.
Well, continue to fill Jeopardy for 500.
Jeopardy for 500 closing out the category.
Hosting the show from 1964 to 1975, he's the only host of Jeopardy other than Alex Trebek.
Oh, jeez.
Come on, people.
I know some of you weren't even born until 1975.
Hey, Doc Who seems to know the answer.
No, we got 10.
You're sitting in the room.
Going once.
Going twice.
What do we got for you?
What do you think?
Out to the audience.
Doc Who is sitting.
Who is with Schwartau is not correct.
Who is Art Fleming is correct.
Swag that dude.
Okay, we might set a record for the worst performance on stage.
Sorry.
Star Wars Stormtrooper.
Star Wars Stormtrooper, USBs.
There you go.
Okay, Mies is going to take care of that.
Back to the board.
You own it again, believe it or not.
Let's go Things No One Has at DEFCON for 100.
Things That No One Has at DEFCON for 100, I'll presume.
So the answer is accumulation of acetaldehyde in the body is a significant contributor
to this.
Also a movie title.
Oh, my God.
Really?
I mean, I have one.
Things That Nobody Will Ever Have at DEFCON.
Yeah, like everybody else has got one over here already.
Going Once.
Did we do a brain test on these people?
I know we tested the equipment.
Going Twice.
Tons of people.
The lady over here waving at me with the black bunny ears.
What is Alcohol Poisoning is not the name of a movie title.
The guy going like this.
Yeah.
What is a hangover?
Things That Nobody Has at DEFCON.
Right.
Oh, geez.
Swag that dude.
The guy in the red shirt with the beard.
He needs something.
You get a Mazu.
That's actually a pretty good lockpick set.
Again, thanks to the lockpick folks over here at Vendor Village.
Go ahead and take over.
Pick something else you don't know.
Call me, maybe, for 100.
Call me, maybe, for 100.
Now, given something vaguely like a phone number.
Tell us where it's from.
For 100 points, the answer is NCC-1701.
It's a 100-pointer.
What is the registry of the USS Enterprise?
Yeah, I'll take that.
What is Star Trek or the Enterprise?
Nice to know there's still some Trekkies around who aren't in diapers.
Hey, it's been 50 years since that show started.
1966 with Bill Shatner.
Okay.
You got the board and you got some points on the board.
What do you want?
Yeah.
I'm gonna have to get that one.
We wanted to do the
Call me, maybe, for 200.
Call me, maybe, for 200.
Call me, maybe, for 200.
Trying to see if your phone number's in here.
The answer is 867-5309.
What is Jenny Jenny?
What is Jenny from Tommy Two-Tone?
Yes, it is.
You add some points on the board.
All right.
Finally!
All right.
What do you got?
Call me maybe for 300 the answer is what the first daily double
Now
What's your election? Do you want us to contribute $100 to the EFF or do you want to go ahead and satisfy your own?
young man urges
EFF it is hundred bucks out of our pockets for EFF
Pledging in front of 2,000 people were paying if they get it right they got to get it right
So how many points you want to wait you you can wait you're up to 500
Well all of its only 200 500 baby Bob owner baby, we're gonna do it. All right. Let's see what the answer is
The answer is six. Oh six. Oh eight
four two
EFF needs you to get this, right? Come on guys. Yep. He's out of beer. He's more beer
Beer been standing by right behind you when you're ready for more another beer
Come on. Six. Oh six. Oh eight four two
The rep is standing by sharpening his paddle
Banners, what is the hookers phone number from last night?
Anybody listen to the b-52s you standing up in the back you look like you're gonna go have a hernia
Oh, you're just having a hernia. Okay out to the audience anybody
These eponymous questions are really gonna screw up. Yeah. Yeah my scorekeeper Dave you got a
What is pull it up? Six?
Oh, six. Oh eight four two. Come on guys. It doesn't get any easier
Oh man
Oh
Better not get that one wrong again
Don't poke me man. You've got the board and you're having a hard time sitting down not a surprise
EFF got nothing because of your failure stack for
500 please look at this. This guy is gonna kick in
$100 out of his own wallet for EFF. The EFF is not gonna lose because of them
Right up here in the EFF tip jar
Good donate at all. All right back out to the game. Don't put me mind you own the board
stack for 500, please
stacked for 500
Okay
The answer is RFC four eight six one defines this link layer IPv6 protocol that corresponds to IPv4 ARP
ICMP router discovery and ICMP to redirect
Do you guys work in technology or do you work at Kmart? What's the deal? Come on?
Seriously, I put questions in here. All right, see tech astronomers
What is the network discovery protocol? Yeah, come on IPV sixers
Yeah
Yeah
IPv6 is almost up to 12% of
What we're doing for internet traffic today. It's really coming on. So y'all you guys got to get off of Windows XP
Okay
Let's see what we got
Stacked for four. He's gonna work the stack backwards. All right, let's pop the stack
400 the embedded protocol number for encapsulated security payload in an IP header. Don't put me mine
What is 51?
What is 51 is not correct?
Not is not the encapsulated security payload. That's the authentication header
That's a H over the other two teams, come on if it's not 51, what could it be?
Well, you got a 50-50 shot it's better than anything else you got for this
Yeah, you have money. They're fine. The guys in the middle ought to take a gamble going once
going twice
Who is making all that whistling noise?
First guy yes, what are you gonna say?
All right, he said what is ESP that is ESP
I want to know the protocol number so he gets it the guy over here with the beer gets it. He said what is 50?
Okay, come on go study your networking there's technical merit to this program
See tech astronomers. What?
You got what do you want?
Popping the stack stack for 300. The answer is the first octet of an IPv6 link local address
Don't book me mom
Okay, you got it foxtrot echo or zero XFE
Octet that's 8 bits. Yeah, that's good. Okay, you're kind of
I'm on your whoa. Somebody's poke it and poke. What do you want?
Fine stack for 200
Popping the stack for 200. We're working our way up the stack. The answer is a cider notation for IPv4 link local addresses
IPv4 link local what happens when your DHCP doesn't work? What do you get?
Yeah, that that projectile network. Oh
Don't poke me mom
Not in the form of a question as I could hear down here
Not in the form of a question as I could hear down here
Not in the form of a question as I could hear down here
Anybody else want to take a shot at that I
Could did he say what I can't I don't have a reflective monitor. He did have the what?
Okay
My scorekeeper says no he did not because he could read lips
Okay, no back the other to the cider notation IPv4 link local address. What do you get when DHCP isn't DHCP?
Not in the form of a question as I could hear down here
Except not in the form of a question again total fail you've already got something sit down you look at they got ants in your pants
What is the first two octets
Yeah, what is one six nine to two five four zero zero slash 16 cider notation tells you the number of bits that are fixed
For the network address you're gonna get another lock pick set something pretty decent. Okay, that was a two hundred-point question
Okay, that was a two hundred-point question.
Back to the board. Don't poke me, man. You just sink into oblivion.
One. We're going to pop the stack.
See if you guys can handle a 100-pointer.
All right. We'll try it.
The answer is A.H. and E.S.P. are members of this security protocol suite
that can operate in transport or tunneling mode.
Don't poke me, man. CTEK astronomers.
Which one's got it, Dave? CTEK got it first.
What is IPsec?
What is IPsec? Of course it is.
It's starting to look like a runaway here.
Things no one has at DEFCON for two.
Things that no one has at DEFCON for 200.
Practicing their profession is technically illegal in Clark County.
What is prostitution?
Yes. What are prostitutes or prostitution?
Or your mother!
Paybacks are a bitch, guys!
Thank you, Gordon.
Thick burn, brah! Thick burn!
All righty. You're on the board there, don't poke me, man.
Same category, 300.
Same category, the things nobody has at DEFCON for 300.
The answer is, the active ingredient in these is psilocybin.
What are magic mushrooms?
What are magic mushrooms are correct for 300.
Which might account for the fact that they're not real mushrooms.
Get down for your poor performance in this game!
You own the board. Pick something other than your nose.
Let's take Pokem0ron for 400.
Pokem0ron... Hold on a second.
Pokem0ron for 400.
The answer is this, another Daily Double.
Think I have an opportunity to say it.
Don't fuck it up! Don't fuck it up! Don't fuck it up! Don't fuck it up!
okay fuck it up how much you want to wager they don't have anything they
can't wager all of it's a negative amount you can wager up to 500 it's a
government program 500 is the wager and if you get it right do you want us to
contribute to EFF or do you want to go ahead and play with the ladies EFF okay
so this will be for EFF for a hundred bucks don't poke me okay the answer for
the port it's a they're betting 500 got a locked in all right got software the
answer is this company's the developer and publisher of Pokemon go
got it
guys at the Daily Double so so I'd like to say before I begin that I don't even
have the app what is Niantic say it again I can't hear you who is Niantic
that
apply you got it
the ruling on the field it's good
by the way is Niantic not Niantic
it's hard when you work with me dollars EFF
5 bucks
It was mostly correct
because I want the EF to have
more fucking money. How about that?
Fuck you!
Having fun yet, ref?
Okay.
You're on the board there.
Let's take Pokemoron again
for 300. Pokemoron for
300, working it backwards.
The meaning to Pokemon
Go players are the terms XP, HP,
and CP.
Experience points.
What are
experience points, hit points,
and
Two.
Downloading. Downloading. Downloading.
What are experience points?
All right, that is not correct. Middle team, what do you got?
What are experience points,
hit points, and combat points?
No.
Not points.
The answer is not
correct.
Take a look. I might
have to drink on this one, but let's go
ahead. Anybody else want to give it a shot?
It's combat power.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not correct. Ref has ruled it is not
correct.
One more out to the audience if you can't get it.
Going once.
Going twice.
How about the lady in the front row in red hair?
No.
Lady here.
You got it!
Experience points, health points,
and combat power.
Swag that lady.
And why do you know this?
Okay.
Well, yes,
you don't deserve it, but you're in control of the board.
Let's go.
Pick something.
I'll pick if you don't pick.
Depcon villages for $300, you said?
Okay, tell us
where you're most likely to find these.
A can bus reader.
Yes.
What is the car hacking village?
What is the car hacking village?
The car hacking village for $300 is correct.
You got it.
All right, you're on the board.
What do you want?
Depcon villages for $400.
The answer is D-sniff and Ettercap.
Don't poke me, man.
What is the packet village?
Can you be more specific?
The packet sniffing.
Oh, no.
The packet hacking.
No. Ref rules, that's not correct.
Over the other two teams, going once.
I know, right?
Going twice.
Reach out to the lady.
Out to the person.
Let's get somebody farther.
Somebody on somebody's head.
Yeah, that's what you can answer it.
What is the packet hacking village?
Is technically, no, it's not the packet hacking village.
Incorrect.
Incorrect.
What is the packet hacking village?
What is the packet hacking village?
The capture village.
Yeah.
Come go visit these villages.
There's lots of cool stuff there.
Depcon's about more than drinking and swag.
Maybe not.
Out to the board here.
Yes, you're in control of the board.
What do you want?
OK, things no one has at Depcon for $400.
Things that no one has at Depcon for $400.
3, 4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine
is better known as this.
What is MDMA or MOLLY?
That is correct.
What's in your wallet?
It's your board.
All righty.
You guys are.
You're in safe, ladies.
Keep your doors closed.
Yeah, don't get roofied here.
All right, you own the board.
What do you want?
Things no one has at.
Get that lady a beer.
She needs beer.
Now, now, now, now, now.
Oh, you got one.
OK.
Good.
It's that buddy of yours in the way.
G-Mark, you do your job.
We'll do ours.
Things no one has at Depcon for $500.
Say again, please.
Things no one has at Depcon.
Things that no one has at Depcon for $500.
The answer is it has a molar mass of 46.07,
boiling point 173 Fahrenheit, excreted in urine, breath,
perspiration, tears, milk, saliva, and bile.
It's something that nobody has.
What is sulfur?
What is what?
Sulfur.
Sulfur.
Sulfur is probably something that nobody has at Depcon,
which, of course, is not the idea in this category.
So that's not correct.
Sulfur has a much higher boiling point.
Anybody who's ever made it in the laboratory.
Something that nobody has at Depcon, not.
Guys, you're thinking too hard.
No, they're not.
Gunning once, going twice.
Now, this is a 500-pointer.
So I got a lot of people waving at me.
We got to pick somebody.
Go in, go in.
It's going to be a final figure of fate.
Not sufficiently correct, because that
is a whole family of molecules.
The person having, you've already got something.
What is, ethyl alcohol is correct, or ethanol, or C2H5OH.
Come on, man.
What?
Yeah, swag him.
Land turtle.
Land turtle.
You got some pretty cool swag there.
OK.
Back out to the board.
What do we got?
We got three categories left.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fuck you running.
Get the fuck down.
Go and get the shit.
You already won.
Don't fuck with us.
You fucked up.
You fucked up.
You fucked up.
I'm so glad I'm getting hard of hearing.
All righty, come on.
Pick something.
C-Tech.
PokeMoron for one.
PokeMoron for one.
The answer is, this is the most downloaded app
in the first week ever.
What is Pokemon Go?
Unfortunately, you did not get the choice,
so it's to the middle team.
What is your question?
Wait, what?
What is Pokemon Go?
Wow, what an inspired guess.
Startling.
Well done.
See, this guy suffers from premature enunciation,
all right?
I'm working here.
You're working here.
What do you want next?
Come on.
You know what?
I think we'll take PokeMoron for $200.
PokeMoron for $200 to close it out.
The answer is, this is the hump date
that Pokemon Go was released in the US.
Hump date?
Yes.
What is a Wednesday?
I'm looking for a date, not a day of the week.
Can you be more specific?
I'll let you continue the answer.
Hump date.
Going once.
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike,
guess what day it is.
Guess what day it is.
When was July 5th?
Was July 5th is not a correct answer.
Other teams, going once.
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.
Going twice.
July 5th was a Tuesday.
Out to the audience.
What the hell?
I can't make it any easier.
This lady right here.
What is July 6th, 2016?
You got it, ma'am.
Swag that lady.
Okay, two categories left.
Def Con Villages and Call Me Maybe.
What do you want?
Come on, Greg.
Take Def Con Villages.
Yes.
You're in control of the board.
How about Def Con Villages for $200?
Def Con Villages for $200.
The answer is Frakes, Diamond Tips, and Tension Wrenches.
What is Lockpicking Village?
What is Lockpicking Village is correct.
Lockpicking is close enough.
Back up to the board.
What do you want?
Redemption!
Take the $100, bitch.
$500.
Same category, please.
Def Con Villages for $500.
The answer is Baby Monitors and Thermostats.
What is the Internet of Things village? What is the IOT
village? It's correct. Wow. These guys are making a last minute comeback.
You are now within reach of the lead. It may
come down to beers. Alright. What do you want?
Defcon villages for 100 please. Defcon villages for
100. The answer is desoldering braid and bread boards.
What is the hardware hacking village? What is the
Internet of Things village? Yes it is.
Well we got two of the toughest questions left.
Call me maybe for
500. Call me maybe for 500.
The answer is 3-1-G-3-5-0-1-2-5.
By the way that was not my question. Because I had
no idea on this one either. I am guarding them now.
Never admit it, right? Never.
Never confess. I know the answers were right. I looked it up. Yeah this is pretty obscure.
Go on once. Even Wynn Schwarzau doesn't know it.
This is like a Wynn Schwarzau question. Things that nobody cares to know.
Anybody not using their Internet look up for this.
See that is a sucky question. This is why I write all my own questions. One person.
Sky dog, you know it?
left bumper bracket part number on a 76 Volvo it quite possibly is but the real answer is what
is Warsaw or that was from Rudolph has his POW number the last one here is something that you
might recognize up for grabs call me maybe for 400 points three six two four three six oh
they're not getting it everybody's getting it all right going once going twice this person
had a connection dirty deeds done dirt cheap just call me three six two four three six oh
I'm by the phone all alone all right finally jeopardy really start counting some beers MC
sterling the beer is selecting a category well that round
good
we generated $200 thank you what am I talking my beer for we generated $200 for EFF thank you
very much generosity to CTEK for that one you guys rock okay I haven't seen you in the second category
Dave let me know when we got some numbers in
one seven holy macro program
I think you guys still have the record yeah okay so what we're going to do is we're going to total
everything up we got the numbers in so let's see what we got to work with the entire thing or just
yes not quite readers digest it's going to be the final category I don't even know now let's see how
much we got to play with put your team name on that quick don't poke me mom 500 in the hole 17 drinks what the hell 1200 points
in the game
hell fucking suckers!
yes 700 to drink a couple six-packs 1900 points CTEK astronomers lost the lead because of the drinking only one six-pack among the three of them but what the hell you can still make it we've got a game
okay strategize contemplate meditate urinate whatever it is you got to do and then go ahead
and give us the wager your wager should be an integer
a positive integer less than or equal to your amount of money
how many?
that is correct let's go ahead and send them down today
And as soon as we got those numbers locked in we are going to show the hacker jeopardy questions
a reminder your response should be in the form of a question it doesn't have
to be but you will definitely lose if it's not
when, what's your problem?
alright what is?
And so he said, it doesn't have to be in the form of the question.
They can just get it wrong.
They get no points for it.
Just saying.
Win.
Get back on your meds, dude.
Okay, this is not quite Reader's Digest.
All right, you got it locked in?
Okay, the answer is the author of Penis Furies and Queef Storms,
a coloring book of awful things, and a lot of people recognize that.
I need to know this author.
Author, 30 seconds, begin, right down to your response.
He's like, I don't need to look stuff up.
I don't need to.
It's got to be on the internet.
All right, guys, we need music.
Wait, wait, wait.
It'd be possible.
The author's here in the audience.
Somebody seems to know what's going on.
You're getting very slow, so let's see what we got real quick.
Speed T for this.
Okay, we got the answer.
We got the answer.
We got the answer.
We got the answer.
Dave's going to go ahead and walk in the responses.
We're going to see what they got.
Are you ready for this?
So let's go ahead and start with the Don't Pokemon.
Because it's going to.
Don't Pokemon.
1,200 points.
They're in the game.
Unfortunately, they got it wrong.
They said, who is Ron Jeremy?
That is not the correct answer.
How much did you wager?
1,000.
You got 200 left.
You never know.
You might outmaneuver everybody else.
You might outmaneuver everybody else.
Let's see what Yes has.
Yes's response is http://penis.land,
who is not the name of an author.
It may be, however, your webcam site.
I don't know, and I am not going to take a look.
However, that is wrong.
How much did you wager?
All of it.
All of it.
All of it.
All of it.
All of it.
All of it.
You got nothing left.
See Tech Astronomers, the guy with his feet up.
He says he has absolutely no clue.
The lady there is right down the answer.
What does she say?
What is Matthew Inman, the author of The Oatmeal?
Which is correct.
What did you bet?
201, 1,901 points.
You win it.
You got it.
We're going to go on to the final Hacker Jeopardy.
We're going to reset the stage.
You guys get a chance.
You get a chance to bump villages.
Within 10 minutes, we'll be starting.
Stick around.
We're going to have more swag that we're sending out.
Don't leave.
By the way, the big party is going to start after Hacker Jeopardy game two.
So we're all going to go from here over there, but you're all good for it.
So stick around.
We're resetting the board.
Yeah, and for this one, Security University, thank you, Sandra.
We're giving beer koozies to everybody here who's playing final Hacker Jeopardy.
And now, the moment you've been waiting for.
The culmination of 22 years of Hacker Jeopardy.
We have Hacker Jeopardy finals.
The winner from last night, team number one, we fucked it up.
Come on down, sit in the first seat.
Substitution on the field for Dan Kaminsky, one of the founding members of B-Sides,
a former Vanna, the lovely Banshee.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I am not a founding member of B-Sides.
I am, however, the executive producer.
Thank you for that correction.
That's team one.
Team number two in the blue.
Pucifer 3.0, a winner from last night.
Let's get these old men up here.
Do these guys look like feds or what?
All righty, team number three.
Hopefully, they had a chance to do a quick pump and dump.
Sea Tech, astronomers, get back up here.
And team number four, a three-time defending champion who featured an amazing substitution last year
in the Rock'em Sock'em Robot Contest, Wynne Schwartau himself.
But Wynne will be substituted out for that.
Instead, we're going to have you, Hackajar?
Dude, you still owe me 20 bucks.
Get your asses up here.
Wynne, job.
You got to keep an eye on this guy.
He cheats.
But they're good.
Okay, remember the rules.
We're going to ask you to give us a category and a dollar amount.
Correct answers have to be in the form of a question.
You get it right, you get the points.
You get it wrong, you lose the points.
Double jeopardy.
You can either go ahead and make us pay 100 bucks to EFF,
and we're good to go.
We're good for it.
We got cash here.
Or you can satisfy your own urges.
I'm hot.
I want to see you go.
I wish this happened.
I can fire up, man.
What do I get if I fire up?
Oh, hey, what's up?
Any questions?
Are we ready on the left?
Are we ready on the right?
Are we ready on the firing line?
It's time to begin.
Final Hacker Jeopardy!
Oh, okay, all the way down the end.
You guys are going to need to go ahead and engage.
We fucked it up to control the board.
Pick a category.
Pick a mountain category.
CISSP for 100.
Are you smarter than a CISSP for 100?
The answer is the number of bucks
that lights in an AES-256 key.
You can use your toes if you need to count them.
Okay.
Pucifer.
Pucifer.
He's still counting.
Put that thing back in your pants.
What is 32?
What is 32 is correct.
Nice start.
You own the board.
What do you want to do with it?
Are you smarter than a CISSP for 200, please?
By the way, just as a poll, who here on the stage has a CISSP?
All right, look at that.
Look at what a waste of money.
You fucked it up.
You fucked it up.
You fucked it up.
You fucked it up.
Okay, 200 points.
Are you smarter than a CISSP?
The answer is when a duplicate copy of all data is written to another disk or set of disks.
CTEG.
What is a backup?
What is a backup is not the CISSP answer.
It's not the best answer, so no, you don't get credit for that.
I'm smarter than a CISSP.
Not according to the CISSP.
All right, other three teams.
Duplicate copy of all data written to another disk.
It probably was on your exam.
Go in once.
Go in.
Okay, we fucked it up down at the end.
What do you want?
What is a mirror?
What is a mirror is not the type of answer you'd see on a CISSP exam.
Okay?
It's what you play with yourself in front of.
Now, another two teams.
Go in once.
Hey, we've got actually a pretty cool hoodie.
Is that for the audience?
Yes.
And this is a secure ninja has donated a pretty cool hoodie here.
So if you're like a 4X, don't try to answer.
It won't fit.
Go in once.
Go in twice.
Out to the audience.
And we've got somebody in the black that's like nine foot tall.
What is raid one is correct.
Raid level one is correct.
All data written to another disk.
Second disk.
Okay, mirroring or striping raid zero.
Or you do both to get raid one zero.
Back to the board.
Are you smarter than the CISSP?
Pucifer, what do you want?
Baby goon for 100.
Baby goon.
Goon for 100.
This is a photograph category.
We're going to show you one of the goons.
You tell us the name or the handle.
For 100 points, let's take a look.
The name or handle of this goon.
It actually looks like him still.
Seatech.
Who is priest?
Who is priest is not correct.
This baby is under seven foot tall.
Can we go back to the picture?
Is it able to go to show the picture?
Come on, think about it.
Are you here, by the way?
It's kind of an adorable goon.
I talked, yeah, adorable goon.
I just talked to him a couple of minutes ago before the game.
Go in once.
Has anger management problems, according to everybody else.
But that's a qualifier for security goon.
Go in twice.
No.
No.
To the audience, the lady back there.
No.
He's not the ref.
He's not a goon.
Gentleman standing up with the black shirt.
I can't hear you.
Say again.
Can anybody hear what he's saying?
I'm not hearing that.
Okay, one last time.
No, it's not Queeg.
All right, we're out of time.
It's decode.
Thank you for the goons, by the way, who responded with your photographs.
All right, back to the board.
Pucifer 3.0, you own it.
What do you want?
George Carlin for 100, please.
George Carlin for 100.
We're going to tell you what George is describing.
You tell us what the proper answer would be.
The answer is the bald-headed mouse, hairy hot dog, the blue-veined meat roll, and the one-eyed nightcrawler in the turtleneck sweater.
What's he talking about, Pucifer?
What's a penis?
What is a penis is correct for 100 points.
He's wondered that for a while.
Got to love the late George Carlin.
He had some interesting way with words.
Go back.
Carlin for 200, please.
George Carlin for 200.
The answer is Snugglepuffs, Mount of Lilies, Skin Sacks, and Bigfoot.
Big brown eyes.
Pucifer.
What are boobs?
That is not the technical term.
What are?
Seatech, remember I said the proper term.
What are breasts?
Seatech, what do you want?
What are breasts?
What are breasts is correct.
Boobs would be another one of the list of synonyms.
Okay, so just because some of you guys have never seen one before, don't mean you have to boo it.
Buy a drink once in a while.
Okay, the boobs, you got it wrong, but Seatech, you own the board.
What do you want?
Carlin for three.
George Carlin for 300.
The House Under the Hill, The Fish Tank, The Wooly Burger, and Mom's Homemade Slit Pie.
Hey, this is George Carlin.
What is vagina?
Now you know your parts.
Okay, he's got that one.
Well done.
Back to the board.
They got it right, yeah.
They got the vagina.
Bail coin for 100, please.
Bail coin for 100.
Oh, yeah.
Rub that thing.
The answer is about 650,000 Bitcoins are stolen from this Japan-based exchange in 2014.
Seatech, who is Mt. Gox?
What is Mt. Gox is correct.
Anybody lose stuff in that one, you fucked it up.
Okay, you shouldn't have trusted him.
I totally fucked that up.
All right, you own the board.
What do you want?
Bail coin for two.
Say again, bail coin for 200.
The answer is last month this cryptocurrency violated its own prime directive and resulted in these two species.
I need to know the names of the symbols.
What is Coinbase?
What is Coinbase is not the name of the cryptocurrency.
That's not correct.
Seatech astronomers.
What is Ethereum and Ethereum Classic?
I will give you that.
Ethereum Classic and Ethereum or Ethereum Hard Fork.
Yeah, Ethereum Split.
Reminds you of New Coke, right?
The new has got to be better than the old.
Again, interesting how that all worked out.
Go ahead.
Bail coin for three.
Bail coin for 300.
The answer is the first Daily Double.
All right.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Okay.
First of all.
Look at the numbers you got.
How much do you want to wager?
Let's go for two.
You're going to vote for two.
You want us to go ahead and put 100 bucks in if you get it right?
Or do you want to go ahead and play with your banner?
Put in 100.
100 bucks out of a staff if you get it right.
EFF, EFF, EFF, EFF.
All righty.
Let's see what we got.
So they're going to wager 200.
The answer is this entity was hacked for $53 million of Ether on
the 17th of June, 2016.
What is the DAO?
What is the DAO is correct.
The Decentralized Autonomous Organization.
Bail coin for four.
Another 100 bucks.
All right.
See, Tech Astronomers, you got control of the board.
Bail coin for four.
Bail coin for 400.
Stand by.
The answer is 119,756 Bitcoins were stolen Tuesday from this Hong Kong-based exchange.
See who's current on your news.
Yeah, she stole them, right?
No, I know you didn't know that.
Who's been on the Wi-Fi?
Yeah.
Yeah, come on.
Really?
You don't know about this?
This is like a massive hack on Bitcoin.
It caused the price to die.
Who did it?
Anybody out here do it?
You get extra points if you're the guy who did it.
I got a guy jumping around with a lit up badge.
So off to the audience, but after going once and going twice.
And the guy with the blinking badge and the white shirt.
Yeah, what is Bitfinex is correct.
Go ahead and swag that, dude.
Bitfinex, serious, serious hack.
Another coin fail.
Fail coin for five.
Say again, please.
Fail coin for five.
Fail coin for five.
The answer is described on Steemit as quote, the worst altcoin I've ever found.
It's got a 7% transaction fee.
It's infinitely inflatable.
Not backed by any proof of work or stake.
Transaction takes me as long as three days.
Coins are earned on an arbitrary basis or under the supervision of a third party that can take a variable rate of up to 5%.
At 40%, the wallet is frequently stolen with no chance of tracking or recovery.
How big is that font?
What is that worst altcoin ever?
What is Dogecoin?
Say again.
What is Dogecoin?
What is Dogecoin is not correct.
Although it is down pretty far, but it doesn't take a 40% take on the variable rate.
It's not Doge.
Come on.
What is this coin?
I'll give you a hint.
We're screwing with you.
Going once.
Pucifer.
What is Defcon coin?
What is Defcoin or Defcon coin is not correct.
You are screwing with us.
Going once.
Going twice.
Man, I look like I'm in a Madonna concert, all these people out here waving.
And out to the audience.
It's got to be USL.
No.
Nope.
Yes.
What is the US dollar?
Put the question back up there, Dave, so they can see what.
Okay, we're done.
7% transaction fee.
There's your social security.
Transaction times for three days.
Yeah.
Okay.
You own the board there, Ctech.
That was actually a cool question.
Your EFF and write for $100.
F and write.
Thanks to the EFF for these questions.
Hey, give them some money.
After we're done with the game, you want to contribute, you're welcome to add to our kitty,
but we're going to make good on all this stuff for the EFF.
F and write for $100.
The answer is this infamous law created section 1201 of the Copyright Act, including anti-circumvision
provision that protects digital rights media, or DRM.
We fucked it up.
What is it?
What is the DMCA?
Yeah.
What is the Digital Millennium Copyright Act?
And EFF just sued the US government to overturn that two weeks ago.
Fuck that law.
Fuck that law.
Fuck that law.
Fuck that law.
Fuck that law.
Fuck it.
Same category for two.
All right, you own the board there.
What do you want?
Same category, $200.
Okay, F and write for $200 in United States versus worry.
The US Supreme Court ruled under the Fourth Amendment, police need a warrant before searching
these devices.
CTEC.
What are cellular telephones?
What are cellular telephones?
They're mobile phones.
It's correct.
And that was a really big deal because the Supreme Court said that's no longer considered
in plain sight.
Thank you, EFF.
Thank you, EFF.
EFF for three.
F and write for $300.
The answer is this trade agreement will result in an estimated $55 million annual cost to
extend copyrights in New Zealand.
Pucifer.
Pucifer.
What is the Trans-Pacific Partnership?
What is the Trans-Pacific Partnership is correct for 300 points.
We knew it.
We just didn't buzz in because we're athletes.
Fuck that law.
All right, you own it.
What do you want?
EFF for 400, please.
F and write for 400.
The answer is the Daily Double again.
All right.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Please fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Let them fuck it up.
It's fine.
Okay.
What's your wager?
Up to 500.
It's government money.
It's free.
What's your wager, Jeremy?
500.
500 wager.
Are you playing for us to put money in or are you going to play with the ladies?
What would you rather have?
It's their category.
We better put the money in.
Cash for EFF.
You got it.
All righty.
EFF.
EFF.
All righty.
Let's see what the answer is.
The common name for this 1990s chipset developed and promoted by the NSA is an encryption device
with a built-in back door.
It's kind of sad, guys.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.
Can we buzz in if they get it wrong?
Don't fuck it up.
Woo-hoo!
Don't fuck it up.
Going once.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Hold on.
Going twice.
What is?
Win.
Talk into the microphone.
I can't hear you.
Come here.
Going three times.
Time's up.
Sorry.
Okay.
Bunny ears.
You've already got one.
How about the person way in the back jumping, jumping, jumping.
Yeah, that's you.
Yeah, what is a clipper chip?
Everybody said it at the same time.
The evil clipper chip.
Sorry, gentlemen.
I thought that would have been straightforward.
Okay.
After you're done receiving your punishment, they want extra beatings.
Don't slow the game down.
Come on.
Pussifer, you got it on the board.
What do you want?
Rats.
F and right for 500, please.
F and right for 500.
What the hell?
Go back to something you know nothing about, but maybe you do.
In the FBI versus Apple case, the San Bernardino District Attorney argued that this iPhone
in question might contain this nasty sounding passive threat.
We fucked it up.
What was the term that they used?
What is a dormant cyber pathogen?
I will take that.
What is a lying dormant cyber pathogen for 500 points?
Well done.
All righty.
Look at this frame.
Oh, Jesus.
In the words of my esteemed colleague.
Beefcake.
Woo.
Okay.
What would you like?
You got the board.
Just a second.
I don't think Banshee's button is working because she's...
I can't hear you.
Oh, I don't think Banshee's button is working because she smacked it three times.
I had a pet rat to...
Smack it.
Do a test, Dave.
Stand by.
We're going to do a test.
Keep the game going.
Smack the guy next to you.
What do you want?
What category?
Okay.
Okay.
Then give us some virgins for 100.
Hobbies for virgins for 100.
See how many of you practice these hobbies.
The answer is the Morse code requirements for this hobby were removed from the technician
class license in 1991.
We fucked it up.
What's the answer?
What is a ham operator's license?
Right.
What is ham radio amateur radio for 100?
Hey.
Hey, Kahuna, are you here?
All right, let's keep rolling.
Pick another category.
For two.
Hobbies for virgins for 200.
Something that some of these people know a lot about.
The answer is E-League.
It's a TV series on TVS following the competitions of this quote unquote sport.
What are video games?
What are...
What is League of Legends?
What are video games?
It's actually okay.
We've got that as an alternative.
We'll take that.
Counter-Strike Global Offensive or video game playing?
Seriously, some people are hoping that's going to make it as an Olympic sport.
We've really gone downhill when that happens.
Okay, you own the board.
What do you want?
I'm most familiar with Hobbies for Virgins 300.
The thing you know something about.
Hobbies for virgins.
The answer is the five basic lands of this game are forest, swamp, plains, island,
and mountain.
Every hand in the house is going up.
C-Tech, you got in first.
What's your answer?
What is...
Hey, hang on.
What is Settlers of Catan?
No!
No!
Win job!
What is, what is, what is...
What is, what is, what is Magic the Gathering?
What is Magic the Gathering?
We know something, bitches!
Ah!
I like the poster.
Alrighty.
I got a killer Tom-ergoy-ish deck at home.
Killer deck at home.
But you're married and you've got a very beautiful wife.
Okay, you guys, surprisingly enough,
own the board.
What are you going to do with it?
More Hobbies for Virgins.
More Hobbies for Virgins.
The answer is...
a Daily Double!
300.
300.
300.
Okay, they're only going to bet 300
because they're, well,
I guess they're virgins.
So you're going to bet 300.
What are you going to do for the EFF?
Are you going to help them out, or are you just going to go ahead and not?
No, if you get it right,
you want ladies, you don't want to help the EFF.
He's saying the EFF already has enough money.
He wants to play with the ladies.
What is Jimmy going to say about that?
Oh!
Oh, boo-hoo!
Wait a minute!
Alrighty, well,
we give him a choice.
You are, you are, you are.
$100!
What is this, Save the Whales?
$100,
and also $100 for this gentleman.
We got $200 riding on this one
if you get it right.
There we go.
Alright,
even though you don't want to help, other people do.
$100.
$100.
Okay.
The answer is this.
The type of activity being engaged in here.
Let's see if our video works.
What is LARPing?
What is LARPing?
I'll take that.
Live action role playing!
$200 for the EFF.
$200.
Shit, we're still in control?
Oh yeah, we get to take something off the ladies.
Wait, ref's got something.
Hey, we didn't say whose clothing you got.
Put it on Hakajar's head.
We got it right.
Yep.
I think I'm going to be sick.
This is your reward.
Hey, all's fair.
Equal opportunity offenders.
You guys own the board.
What do you want?
Virgins for 500.
Virgins for 500.
The answer is, this game uses to hit armor class zero to calculate if a hit succeeds.
We fucked it up.
What is Dungeons and Dragons?
Yeah, what is Dungeons and Dragons?
D&D.
D&D.
All righty, we got three categories left.
Are you smarter than the CSSP, George Carlin, and Baby Goon?
What do you want?
I'm going to take some George Carlin for four.
George Carlin for 400.
The answer is, shot in the giblets, stung by a serpent, full of hair, and up the stick.
I don't know the normal English word you find in the dictionary.
What is kicked in the testicles?
What is kicked in the testicles is not correct.
Sea Tech astronomers, what is sexual intercourse?
What is sexual intercourse is technically not correct.
No, this is not what George is describing.
It is the result, perhaps, of that, but it is not the act.
Going once.
Going twice.
All right.
Oh, Pucifer.
Yeah, he got it in time.
What is pregnant?
Yeah, what is pregnant?
They're pregnancies.
That's a reasonable result of sexual intercourse.
It's only...
We have to do it.
Well done.
All right, Pucifer, you're back up to zero.
What do you want to do?
C-I-S-S-P for 300, please.
C-I-S-S-P for 300.
Hourly rate.
What?
300 is usually their hourly rate, right?
300 is their hourly rate for the C-I-S-S-Ps.
Okay, the most common mode of DES operation that XORs each block with the ciphertext of the preceding block.
Pucifer.
What is electronic code book mode?
No, E-S-E-C-B does not change.
C-Tech.
What is C-B-C?
What is cyberblockchaining is correct.
I messed it up.
Electronic code book does every single 64-bit second in the same code.
That way you can see repeating patterns in the ciphertext.
This gets rid of that.
I teach cryptography.
I guess you don't teach it very well.
Am I smarter than a C-I-S-S-P for four?
Are you smarter than a C-I-S-S-P for 400?
The answer is...
Information of this classification could cause serious damage to national security.
C-Tech.
What is top secret?
What is top secret is not correct.
What is G-Mark's mom?
That would be grave damage to national security.
We fucked it up.
You're wrong again.
What do you think?
What is secret?
What is secret is correct for 400 points.
All righty, you've got the board.
What do you want?
Let's take C-I-S-S-P for five.
C-I-S-S-P for 500.
Good luck with this one.
Fences of this height with three-strand barbed wire required to deter, quote, more determined intruders.
Looking for a height.
It's a C-I-S-S-P question.
I used to teach C-I-S-S-P.
All righty, C-Tech.
Desperation.
Desperation, guess.
Ten feet.
Not in the form of a question.
You fucked it up.
We fucked it up.
What do you got?
What is ten feet?
Say again.
I can't hear you.
What is ten feet?
What is ten feet is wrong.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck.
We fucked it up.
You got suckered.
We fucked it up.
Okay, anybody else?
Two remaining teams.
Okay, this is going to be for the Wi-Fi pineapple.
I'm going to let the ref decide who's going to pick.
There's a lot of people out there.
We're not going to throw it.
Okay.
Ref, you pick.
Hey, me?
Go pick somebody.
It's our strategy, man.
You go pick somebody.
You tell me who you're going to pick.
Hurry up.
Run, run, run, run, run.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Put your energy on your shirt.
Yeah, and we still win.
I know.
It was that good.
Okay.
Let's hear the answer out there.
No.
Well, yeah, they're out of meters.
That's a 30-foot.
All right.
What are you?
Me?
Pick another.
Me's going all the way to the back of the room.
What's the answer?
Good job.
Good job.
Psychological.
Psychological worker.
All right.
Looks like I got a winner.
What is eight feet?
Congratulations to Wi-Fi pineapple.
That's an awesome award.
It's worth about 99 bucks.
Do you actually have a CISSP or did you just pull that number out of an orifice?
It's been a long time.
Your back orifice.
Got it.
Okay.
That category's pulled up.
Got two categories left.
Come on, guys.
We got two guys in the black, but one guy are drinking like a bat out of hell.
It's in the back.
You need the distance between.
What do you want?
It's going to be longer than the height of a corpse.
No, literally.
We fucked it up.
You own the board.
What do you want?
Carlin for five.
George Carlin for five.
Again, you have to give an answer that would describe the term correctly like you're using
proper language.
You can't use another term.
The answer is, juice the sluice making some soup, tickle the taco in the two-fingered
tango.
Hey!
Oh, he fucked it up.
What do you got?
What is masturbation?
Can you be more specific in terms of gender?
What is finger-banging a female?
What is female masturbation?
All right.
What is female masturbation?
Would you like to see?
See an example.
Would you like to see?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That is not female masturbation.
What is this?
What is the nature of this?
All right.
That's not auto.
Masturbation is not masturbation.
I think we're going to end up having this question thrown out.
All right.
Right. We're going to have to throw that question out. Apparently that
answer...
All he asked for was gender. He asked what is
masturbation. He asked for gender. The first one he heard her say
was female. That completed the
sequence. As far as I'm concerned, they got the answer.
Okay.
You go in the category. Pick it now.
One category left. It's a photo
category. A baby goon. What do you want?
Goons for two. Goons for two.
The name or the handle of this
goon?
We fucked it up. Who is
Dead Addict? Who is Dead Addict
is not correct. He doesn't
have the little gold orb with him.
I'll give you a hint.
They don't have a soul. He's in the room.
Oh, that helps.
I'll give you another hint. He should have to come
on stage. He's in the front row, damn it.
Come on,
pussies, try.
Puss.
Pussies, pussies.
How many goon badges
are you seeing in the front row?
Going once.
Going twice.
Screw you, G-Mark.
Charlie, who is that?
It's her husband, Black
Days. Yeah.
I thought it looked like
a soul. When did Black Days
not have a fucking soul?
Hey,
someday you'll have kids.
You look sharp.
You look ugly like you.
That's like some Sears shit right there.
Okay, then let's try the next one. Maybe
it'll be good. Take a look at it.
Okay, we'll take ugly children for three.
Baby goons for 300.
The name or handle of this
goon.
It's a pretty good soul in there.
It's gingers.
Come on.
I'm not falling for this trap. Check the hair color.
Going once.
Going twice. I thought this would have done
better. Alright. This category
sucks. It does apparently. We won't do it again. You're
goddamn right! Who is, let's take a look,
Redbeard. That's what he looked like before the beard.
Alright. 400 points I guess for Baby Goon.
Maybe you recognize this dude. The name or handle of this goon.
The one in the middle. I love how there's an arrow.
I suspect that's the
background when he took it. That's the 70's.
Yeah that's the one in the middle. Way to single this person out.
Well just in case you're sort of confused about which baby
there was, alright that's not
working. Going once. Going twice, you can't even tell but
the arrow. Okay screw it. The answer is? Who is Russ Rodgers?
Oh seriously? Holy shit! Alright you guys have actually got a shot at this one. Wow that's fucking awesome!
This one ought to be recognizable. Baby Goon
for 500. The name or handle of this goon.
SeaTac Astronomers.
Who is Priest? Who is Queeg is not
correct. Put it back up on the screen. Priest. Priest. Priest. Who is Priest is not
correct either. Put the picture back up.
The one on the left by the way, not the one on the right. Are you sure?
Come on.
It says the one on the left. I didn't need to put an arrow. I put text
in there. I'll give you another hint.
Sitting in the front row. Come on guys.
500 points could help a lot. No longer sitting in the
front row. We fucked it up.
Who is Wynne Schwartau? Who is Wynne Schwartau is correct.
Thank you.
Thank you Sheriff for sending the photograph. Sorry Wynne. Get ready for final
Hacker Jeopardy. We're going to total up the beers. We're going to see how well we did. As soon as we do we're going to
celebrate. Then of course we've got a party next door. We've got to go down around the back again.
But we're going to figure out what we've got. A ton of beers over here. That's what these guys do. They don't
say much but they drink like fish.
Hey save me a beer back there. I need one.
Oh. Oh come on. Denial of service on the beer count.
17.
I blame the categories this round.
Alright.
Oh my god.
This one will be good.
Can we get a beer handicap? We played last year.
Fuck yeah.
You guys have a lot to learn about female masturbation.
For what it's worth.
Seriously.
Seriously.
Okay.
I still got some nice little lock
pick sets along with clear
pickable
locks from the folks. Let's get these out
to some folks. Tons of swag
coming out. I want you to get loud.
I have a talk at
2 o'clock tomorrow.
Track 2.
Get loud.
Thank you
Wynne Schwarto. Another $100.
To the EFF.
We got this.
We got this.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Alright we got $600
for the EFF.
Plus anybody else who wants to contribute
come on. We put 100% into the kitty.
Give it till it hurts
motherfuckers. Give it till it hurts.
EFF.
Get your ass up here motherfuckers.
I drank 10 beers.
Get your ass up here.
$100 more for EFF.
Thank you.
40 bucks for EFF.
20 bucks for EFF.
Get your lock pick set.
$100 for EFF.
Here you go.
Put up a photo.
Put up a photo.
Give me something.
So we
Yeah total.
Total.
We need to see the board.
I need math
motherfucker.
Announce the category real quick.
Okay announcing the category real quick.
We always want to come into the category is
wetnorking.
Sit your asses down.
Okay wetnorking.
Show the category.
What the fuck?
Go for it.
So can you guys
like do math and shit or what?
I need a cigarette.
Oh can you take it?
Yeah.
Wetnorking.
This is the category guys.
Look at the category.
Wetnorking.
Okay gotta make sure this thing goes to EFF.
Okay wetnorking.
I need to go ahead
and write C.
Okay this gentleman is donating $100
to EFF. He wants to show off his bling.
Step forward. Look at that bling boy.
Oh there you go.
Well done. Thank you EFF.
By the way it looks like
we got well over a thousand bucks here.
100% goes to EFF.
Thank you very much for those that contributed.
I still got swag up here.
We do
good things for good causes.
We fucked it up. We're missing a team.
You really below zero?
Uh oh.
Less than zero
in the final.
In spite of your drinking.
But thank you very much for playing.
We had a great game.
Okay.
So let's take a look at the things.
We fucked it up. We got 3,000.
We got 1,400.
Win job 2,400. Definitely got a game here.
Because with the two of the high,
Pucifer you still got a shot
if these guys bet high and get it wrong.
Okay.
Do you want to zero or do you want...
Dave should we show the...
Ready to go?
We need wagers.
We need your wagers in writing.
Write down your wager.
A non-negative integer
not to exceed the value that you have
in the bank.
We're going to find this one out.
This ought to be pretty good folks.
This is for all the marbles.
Win job. You're going to have to do something on this one.
You can't just rest on your beer bottles.
Let me know Dave you got the wagers in.
We're adding the wagers in.
Couple more typing.
And we got the wagers in.
Alright so I need you to write down
your response.
I recommend it be in the form of a question.
Doesn't have to be but you get no points if it's not.
Are you ready?
So wet norking.
The final answer is
in alphabetical order the names of the
OSI layers that correspond
to prime numbers.
Whoa!
You got to think on this one.
Everybody remembers your stack right?
Seven layer stack. What's layer eight by the way?
Money!
Politics. Number nine is money.
Layer eight doesn't count you stupid mother fucker.
Okay.
Alphabetical order the names of the open
systems interconnect layers
model that correspond to prime numbers.
Whoa!
One is not a prime number.
One is not a prime number.
For EFF.
One is not a prime number.
Okay.
Got a little bit of feedback on the board here.
Thank you.
Alright we're getting those answers down.
Takes a little bit of extra time.
I know you got to write more than one
thing in here.
We're going to check and see whether you were paying
attention in networking class.
Okay.
In alphabetical order.
Network.
Four.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. .
All right, I got three out of four, okay.
How's everyone doing tonight?
Y'all having fun?
You better be.
Hey, who out here has a talk at 2 o'clock p.m. tomorrow in track two?
Raise your hand.
I still haven't finished my slides.
Let me hear you.
Let me hear you, motherfuckers.
I'm sorry, I couldn't speak.
Okay, we've got some answers.
Now, of course, the question was this.
In alphabetical order, the names of the OSI layers that correspond to prime numbers.
What's the lowest prime number?
One.
Two.
Correct.
One is not a prime number.
What's the next one?
Three.
What's the next one?
Five.
What's the next one?
Seven.
All right.
We're looking for two, three, five, and seven in alphabetical order.
Let's see.
What do we got?
Oh, shit.
No, it's not.
It says the name of the winner will be permanently written to the blockchain for Hacker Jeopardy for 2016.
Fuck.
Thank you very much.
You'll live forever in infamy.
So let's start a look with We Fucked It Up.
Their answer is, what is ALPP?
I understand if you don't have a clue, but that's like seriously wrong.
Oh, I couldn't write that stuff.
What'd you wager?
$5.99.
Okay.
So you've still got something left.
Let's take a look at WinJob.
What is three network, one physical, which is not a prime number, seven presentation,
five session, you left out number two.
So therefore, that's wrong as well.
I appreciate the rude comment at the bottom, but I'm not going to share it with the audience.
Hey.
Same to your mother.
Pucifer 3.0.
What is seven?
Out.
Application.
Correct.
Two.
Data link.
Correct.
Three.
Network layer.
Correct.
And then for the physical layer of number one, one is not a prime number.
Five is session.
You injected a non-prime number.
The definition of a prime number is that it has a very specific meaning.
It's a unique sequence of products of primes.
You left out.
So let's see what the scores are.
We fucked it up.
Defeated WinJob.
WinJob.
We have a brand new Hacker Jeopardy! champion.
WinJob.
WinJob.
WinJob.
We were top 10 for that match.
cách anybody
All right, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed the show.
This was awesome.
If you want to play next year, please do so
We have signs of things like that.
Learn your stuff.
Know your networking.
It's a decent game.
Thank you.
We have over $1,000 in cash for AFF.
We're going to donate that first thing in the morning.
Go enjoy the party black and white militia.
the next story.
It's a great DJS will be partying with you.
Thank you very much. Have a good night.