DEF CON 30 Short Story Writing Contest
https://media.defcon.org/

People's Choice Award Winner

Monkey Wrench
By Jessica Krzysiak


The football taps Kaiser's chest, and he hugs the ball to make sure he doesn't drop it.

"No blockers," he says. He hates these daily stands. Starting the day off in a room full of people is torture. Eagerly, he passes the ball to Jessica, who is on his left. She's the PM and generally leaves him alone, which he likes.

Kaiser hears the faint singing of the happy birthday song coming from the ultra-modern, uncomfortable kitchen. Heather, the admin, comes in with a big box of designer donuts and an even bigger smile on her face. Everyone joins in the middle of the song as it trails off with the traditional "happy birthday day to you…." The team spurts out all of their "ohs" and "ahs" and "wow, those look great." They hack at the donuts with a plastic butter knife, careful not to take a whole one for themselves as they obey some unwritten laws about office donut etiquette.

Kaiser sits at his desk with a large cup of black coffee. He was up until 3 am working on his codebase, and it's still riddled with bugs. He opens Sublime Text and stares blankly at his screen.

"Kaiser, it's Ezra. Can we meet tonight? It's urgent."

Kaiser places his hands on his keyboard, taps "A/S/L?" and smirks.

Ezra is a weirdo hacker Kaiser met at DefCon in 2018. He was brilliant and strange and smelled like sweet peppers. Always wearing a nice suit, the man seemed to be from a different generation. Although in his mid-40s, he could sometimes seem younger or older depending on the conversation. He would never waste his time on small talk, no hellos or goodbyes, but would talk extensively about grand ideas about how technology could change the world. After the conference, they both went their separate ways, but Ezra stayed in touch and would send random messages or pictures from his extensive travels.

"This isn't a joke, K. There's going to be a cyber attack on the parade tomorrow. I need you to help me."

Wow, this guy is crazier than I thought, Kaiser says out loud to himself. Ezra could be a little out there, but he always kept their conversations light.

"Look, man, I'm going to get some sleep, and I think you should too." Kaiser closes his laptop, packs up, and grabs half of a bacon caramel crunch donut on his way out the door.

Walking down the battered streets of New Orleans, he made his way to Magazine Street, past an old convent that is now a nursing home. Residents sit in wheelchairs on the porch watching life go by in cars and on bikes. The smell of dying skin cells and urine rolls through the halls.

He finds his mother in the T.V. room, holding on to her oxygen tank and unwavering belief in God. On the T.V. is footage of U.S. Air Flight 427 which carried his father from Chicago in 1994. On the screen, reporters scramble to make sense of the chaos as they wade through the aftermath of one of the deadliest plane crashes in history. Finally, the video ends, but his mother restarts it.

"Hi, Mom," Kaiser says to distant ears.

"This is how they took him, Kaiser. You need to pay attention before it's too late. I won't be here much longer, and there are things you need to know, "She strokes the cross around her neck. "Evil is here. Everyone knows that the devil is here, but nobody wants to admit that we are in hell."

After Kaiser's father died, she took a deep dive into conspiracy theories, religion, and medications. She wasn't that old, but the trauma and years of trying to make sense of something she simply could not accept had worn her body down to that of an old woman. Her mind had eaten up all her resources, and now she is left clinging to her ideas. She is lucid today, which doesn't always make for a good visit. Kaiser tries to comfort her but becomes frustrated instead.

"In the chaos, you will always find them." She raises a shaky finger to the T.V., pointing out the group of spectators from the crash. Most of them just being nosey and bored. One man standing towards the back, surveying the crowd. Emotionless and still, he stood in a gray suit that seemed to blend in with the background. His eyes were like black holes that were absorbing the catastrophic scene.


"Son, I know my time is up soon. I can feel it. There's so much more I need to tell you. Things you need to know," his mother began one of her usual tangents about God, the government, and how his father was murdered. He had heard it a hundred times. His entire childhood was filled with constantly moving from one place to another, trying to escape some boogeyman that lived in his mother's head. It was like he was living in a real-life version of "Terminator," but the machine never showed up.

Seeing his mom like this was upsetting, and he didn't have the emotional bandwidth for it.

"I love you, mom, "He bent down, kissed the top of her head, and went home. Kaiser sank down into his recliner and tried to unwind. He started to Reddit on his phone, and finally, after an Ambian, a Xanax, and a few whiskeys, he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next day, groggy and thirsty, he woke up to several missed calls and messages from Ezra. Each is more dramatic than the last.

"Kaiser, pick up!"

"We need to talk ASAP!"

"People are going to die!"

What the hell, Kaiser thought. He clicked Ezra's name and blocked him. The old man had obviously lost his mind. As usual, he got ready for work and opened his front door to be met by the downtown smells leftover from the night before. He looks up and sees Ezra.

"What the hell do you think you are doing here?" Kaiser said as his whole body tensed up.

Ezra puts out his hands in a submissive way and says, "Hey man, I really need to talk to you, and I need you to trust me on this. Our meeting was not a coincidence. It was on purpose, and I thought I would have more time, but now the time has run out, and we need to talk."

"Your mom is right. Your dad was murdered, and it's time for you to know the truth," Ezra spouted out as quickly as he could while trying to keep up with Kaiser's quick pace down the street.

Kaiser froze. How would Ezra know about his mother's crazy theories? He had never told anyone. Nobody ever took her seriously enough to listen.

"I know this is crazy, but please listen to what I have to say," Ezra continued. "Please, can we go somewhere?"

They went to a dingy old bar close to the French Quarter with wooden walls always swollen from humidity, even on cool days. Kaiser took a drink of his beer, and it went down way too easy.

"Kaiser, listen. I used to work with your dad. We were part of a team of scientists working on space travel in the 80s. We didn't know what we were getting ourselves into at the time. We were all just excited to be working on something that could really make a change for mankind."

Kaiser knew his dad was a scientist and his mother always said he had found a place past the moon, which sounded crazy.

"Your dad had our work on a hard drive with him in a carry-on when his plane crashed. But let me tell you, that was no accident. Within 24 hours, everyone on our team had died in some freak accident. I was the only one left. This group of modern Luddites, or so I thought at the time, were taking us out. I knew I was next, so I disappeared. I have spent the last 25 years traveling the world, careful to not stay in one place too long. All while keeping an eye on you."

Kaiser slammed the last of his beer, sure he was being conned. "But why would they kill my father?"

"Because your father had discovered a way to travel space, and this group will do anything to stop humans from doing that." Ezra looked very serious.

"Humans?" Kaiser questioned.

"Yes, this group of beings against technology is only trying to sabotage it for humans, "Ezra answered. "They are an alien life form that intervenes when we get too close to a technology they think is too advanced for us."

Kaiser motioned to the bartender to bring him another beer and shook his head, saying, "If they are that advanced, why don't they just destroy us then? Why deal with us at all?"

"The same reason we keep animals in the zoo. We don't want to destroy it. We like watching it, but we don't want the animals roaming about either, "Ezra answered confidently. "We are here to be observed and, in some cases, entertainment, just like monkeys in the zoo."

Kaiser looked at Ezra like he was crazy and said, "We have already been to the moon and have landed on Mars. They didn't stop anything."

Ezra laughed and looked up. "The zoo is the milky way, not just earth."

They sat in silence for a few minutes while Kaiser digested the conversation. Is this a con? Could this be real? Had this guy just watched the Matrix too many times?

Kaiser finally looked Ezra directly in the eyes, trying to find a hint of crazy, but all he saw was sincerity. Then, finally, he asked, "so what does this have to do with me?"

Ezra smiled as if he suddenly realized he had gotten through to him and enthusiastically started to explain. "listen, even though you were very young, your father shared everything with you. He explained things that he would not talk to anyone else about. So you have those memories. We just need to get to them."

"And how do we do that?"

"Have you read any Socrates? He said we already know everything; we just learn by remembering it. Some people have dedicated their lives to figuring out how to retrieve those memories. People that, in a way, hack your brain. If we can get to them, they can help us get that answer that lives in your head."
Kaiser shook his head in disbelief at what he was about to say. "So, where are we going?"

Ezra smiled, "Vegas, baby."